Fix Your Lips Comic Strips - Page 16
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163 Results for Fix Your Lips
View 151 - 160 results for fix your lips comic strips. Discover the best "Fix Your Lips" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday September 17,
2019
Bad Attitude
Tags #big business, #complaining, #employees, #obliviousness, #attitude
Transcript
Catbert: I need to talk to you about your bad attitude. Dilbert: I'm surrounded by useless idiots, and I work in a fabric-covered box. How can I have a good attitude? Catbert: Oh, good. I was hoping it would be something I couldn't fix.
Wednesday September 18,
2019
Read The Manual
Tags #computer software, #employees, #frustrated, #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #technology
Transcript
Dilbert: We need to fix our user interface because half of our users can't figure it out. Boss: Tell them to read the manual. Dilbert: That's not how you fix a bad user interface. Boss: Then why do manuals exist? Dilbert: If you need me, I'll be banging my head against a wall.
Saturday September 21,
2019
Dilbert Gets His Head Fixed
Tags #confused, #employees, #frustration, #garbage, #help, #office workers
Transcript
Garbage Man: Looks like you've been beating your head against a wall in frustration. Stick your head in this garbage can to fix it. Dilbert: Why is this working? Garbage Man: Why wouldn't it?
Wednesday September 25,
2019
Curse Of Competence
Tags #computer software, #employees, #office workers, #problem, #sarcasm, #condescending
Transcript
Man: I need your help solving a software problem on my computer. Dilbert: Why am I cursed with the sort of competence that makes me a servant to the incapable? Man: I don't know what that means. Dilbert: If you did, you could probably fix your own problems.
Wednesday October 02,
2019
Parody Inversion Point
Tags #government, #sarcasm, #parody, #business, #inversion, #reality, #absurd
Transcript
dilbert: according to my algorithm, we are heading toward a parody inversion point. that happens when reality becomes so absurd that it is indistinguishable from parody. dogbert: maybe the government can fix that dilbert alarmed: gaaa! i can't tell if you're serious!
Friday October 04,
2019
Garbage Man Breaks Fourth Wall
Tags #psychology, #reality, #parody, #broken, #business, #garbage, #Comic, #indistinguishable
Transcript
dilbert: reality has become so absurd that it is indistinguishable from parody. how can we fix that? garbage man: there is nothing to fix. reality has always been the same as parody. you just didn't notice until now. dilbert: you're joking, right? garbage man: check out this comic strip called "dilbert"
Tuesday December 24,
2019
Dogbert's Tech Support
Tags #technology, #user, #manual, #common sense
Transcript
dogbert's tech support dogbert: yes, we know the user manual refers to the wrong product. just use your common sense to figure out what the manual should have said. voice from phone: i tried the, but it didn't work. dogbert: i can't fix your common sense!
Thursday January 02,
2020
Inefficiency
Tags #managers & supervisors, #inefficient, #process, #obsolete, #market, #technology, #multidisciplinary, #systems, #fight, #fire
Transcript
alice: our internal processes are so inefficient that we can't get products to market before they are obsolete. boss: i'll create a multidisciplinary task force to look into it. alice: you want to use an inefficient system to fix an inefficient system? boss: it's called fighting fire with fire.
Monday February 17,
2020
Buy An Adapter
Tags #sarcasm, #stupidity, #technology, #Dilbert, #business, #network, #adapter
Transcript
dilbert: the hardware you ordered is not compatible with our network. boss: just buy an adapter. dilbert: i don't think anyone makes an adapter that can fix stupidity.
Saturday April 04,
2020
Genius Marketing
Tags #business, #sarcasm, #products, #sales, #team, #shoddy, #incompetent, #marketing, #genius, #correct, #blush
Transcript
dogbert: your products are shoddy, and your sales teams are incompetent. but there is a theoretical amount of marketing genius that can fix all of that. boss: are you that genius? dogbert: please. you're making me blush.