Give A Hoot Comic Strips - Page 16

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645 Results for Give A Hoot

View 151 - 160 results for give a hoot comic strips. Discover the best "Give A Hoot" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 03, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #sponsor, #swedish, #swim, #team, #expenses, #embarassing, #women's

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The Boss sits at his desk and says to Dilbert, "As you know, we're a sponsor for the Swedish women's swim team . . ." The Boss continues, "They're in town for a week, and all of the hotels are booked." The Boss asks, "Would you mind if they stayed at your house?" Dilbert looks surprised. The Boss hands Dilbert a check and says, "Naturally, we will pay all expenses and give you this $10,000 bonus." Dilbert looks at the check and thinks, "Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy." The Boss stands behind him holding a piece of string attached to the check. The Boss yanks the string and pulls the check out of Dilbert's hands. The Boss and two other people laugh at Dilbert. Back at home, Dilbert tells Dogbert, "The embarrassing part is that it came so soon after the Swedish women's luge team prank."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 24, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #wallet, #money, #rich, #return, #owner, #honest, #sam grooper, #ruthless, #criminal, #divorced, #wife, #ruth, #reward, #expected, #slap, #scram, #gun, #morons

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Dilbert and Dogbert walk on the sidewalk. Dilbert points ahead of them and says, "Look, Dogbert - a wallet." Dilbert bends down, picks up the wallet and says, "It's full of money." Dogbert shouts, "We're rich!!" Dilbert says, "We must return it to its owner." Dogbert shouts, "We're honest!" Dilbert says, "His business card says 'Sam Grouper, ruthless criminal.'" Dilbert says, "Let's hope 'ruthless' means he divorced his wife named Ruth." The criminal answers his door with a gun in his hand. Dilbert says, "Mr. Grouper, we found your wallet. No reward is expected." Sam points the weapon at Dilbert and says, "Hand it over. Give me your wallet too, then slap yourselves around and scram." Dilbert's glasses are bent and his clothes are disheveled. Dogbert holds his hands up and says, "We're morons!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 26, 1993's comic on:


Tags #ratbert, #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #insults, #best friend, #verbal, #abuse, #order, #cement, #friendship, #moron

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Ratbert: Dogbert insults you all the time. And you treat him like your best friend. Obviously, I need to give you some verbal abuse in order to cement our bond of love and friendship. Dilbert: You're an idiot.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 01, 1996's comic on:


Tags #opinions, #self described feminists, #non stereo typical, #female characters, #balance, #antina, #math, #education

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Dogbert sits at a table with Tina who is growling. Dogbert says, "A while back I asked for opinions about this new character, 'Tina the Brittle Tech Writer.'" Dogbert presents the results, "Most people, including nearly all the self-described feminists, said keep her. But there were many requests to add 'non-stereotypical' female characters for balance." Dogbert points at a muscular woman with a shaved head and says, "In the interest of balance I give you 'Antina.'" Antina says, "Is anybody up for some math?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 28, 1996's comic on:


Tags #dying from boredowm, #inetrview, #department newsletter, #background, #project is good, #engineer, #moms fallopian tubes, #engineering

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Tina the Tech Writer and Dilbert sit in Dilbert's cubicle. Tina says, "At the risk of dying from boredom, I must interview you for the department newsletter." Dilbert says, "Let me give you some background before I talk about my project . . ." Tina ignores Dilbert and writes, "'The project is good,' quipped the engineer." Dilbert continues, ". . . So there I am in my mom's Fallopian tube . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 29, 1996's comic on:


Tags #write about newsletter, #grand tradition, #engineering, #lowest priority, #dont despise

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Tina the Tech Writer approaches Wally and says, "Wally, I'm hoping you'll agree to write about your project for the newsletter . . ." Tina continues, "And in the grand tradition of engineering, I expect you'll give this the lowest priority, thus making me despise you." Wally says lovingly, "So . . . are you saying you don't despise me NOW?" Tina screams, "We are NOT having a moment here!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 09, 1996's comic on:


Tags #stupid machine, #taken coins, #sunny disposition, #nothing, #dignity, #career, #drawing line, #soda machine

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Dilbert stands in front of a soda vending machine. He pushes a button and says angrily, "Stupid machine, you've taken my coins and with them my sunny disposition." The Boss walks up behind Dilbert who shouts, "There's nothing left to give!!! You've taken it all!!!" Wally, Alice and the Boss stand behind Dilbert watching him talk to the machine. Dilbert says, "Okay, you got my dignity and my career, too . . . But I am drawing the line HERE, Buster!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 12, 1996's comic on:


Tags #dogcart versus catbert, #dilbert death, #bob the donosuar, #fur wedgie, #lost paperwork, #ordering execustion

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The caption says, "Dogbert versus Catbert." Dogbert stands on Catbert's desk and says, "I understand you've sentenced Dilbert to death." Catbert asks, "Is that a problem?" Bob the Dinosaur stands behind Dogbert and looks menacing. Dogbert says, "My assistant, Bob the Dinosaur, will now demonstrate how to give a cat a 'fur wedgie.'" Dilbert arrives at home carrying a briefcase. He says to Dogbert, "I've been pardoned. Somehow they lost the paperwork ordering my execution." Dogbert responds, "It probably fell into a crack."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 29, 1996's comic on:


Tags #Catbert, #hr director, #employee oreinetation, #glimmer, #mandatory training video

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Catbert stands behind Wally's desk and says, "I've come to give you 'employee orientation,' Wally." Wally says, "But I've worked here for years." Catbert says, "You still have a glimmer of hope. You'll have to watch this mandatory training video." Wally sits in front of a television and VCR. The video begins, "So, you still have hope . . ." Catbert massages Wally's temples and says, "Relax . . . Let it go."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 16, 1996's comic on:


Tags #access, #due dilogence, #information, #maniacal laughter, #merger, #phase, #proprietary

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The Boss sits across from two men from the buying company who are sitting on a couch. One man says, "In the 'due diligence' phase of our merger you will give us access to all of your proprietary information." The Boss asks, "Wouldn't that let you know how to crush us competitively? Couldn't you cancel the merger and take our customers without paying a cent?" As the two men struggle to control themselves, they think, "Must . . . contain maniacal . . . laugh . . ."