Goal Set Comic Strips - Page 16
Search Filters
Year
- 2023
- 2022
- 2021
- 2020
- 2019
- 2018
- 2017
- 2016
- 2015
- 2014
- 2013
- 2012
- 2011
- 2010
- 2009
- 2008
- 2007
- 2006
- 2005
- 2004
- 2003
- 2002
- 2001
- 2000
- 1999
- 1998
- 1997
- 1996
- 1995
- 1994
- 1993
- 1992
- 1991
- 1990
- 1989
Character
221 Results for Goal Set
View 151 - 160 results for goal set comic strips. Discover the best "Goal Set" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday August 25,
2010
Tags confession, schedule, calendar, lazy, self-esteem, annoyed
Transcript
Carol says, "For the past five years I've managed your calendar based solely on what would create the least work for me." Carol says, "It all started when you told me to use my judgment to set priorities." Carol says, "In retrospect, you should have hired someone with low self-esteem."
Wednesday October 06,
2010
Tags meeting, poison pill, company takeover, front, surprise, angry, awkward, uncomfortable, skip, pre-meeting, business
Transcript
CEO says, "Mister Dogbert will describe our 'poison pill' strategy for preventing an unfriendly takeover." Dogbert says, "It turns out that no one wants to buy a criminally mismanaged quagmire. So you're all set." Dogbert says, "Maybe next time you won't skip the pre-meeting."
Monday October 18,
2010
Tags sales bonus level, happy, smile, employee, salesman, too low
Transcript
The Boss says, "Ken, you've almost reached your sales bonus level with time to spare." The Boss says, "Obviously I set your bonus threshold too low. I'll need to adjust it upward retroactively." Ken says, "Maybe I'm just a great salesperson!" The Boss says, "That's the spirit! Stay hungry!"
Thursday January 08,
2009
Tags selfishness, rudeness, sales, internet, confusion, sabotage, business, technology
Transcript
The lucky sales guy man says, "My sales quotas were set too low. I plan to buy a yacht with my commissions." man says, "Would you mind programming the navigation system so I can get drunk while my boat takes me places?" Asok says, "Why are you researching where all the pirates attack?" Dilbert says, "It's better if you don't know."
Tuesday January 27,
2009
Tags housing, mortgage, payment, unemployed, finances, banks, money
Transcript
Dilbert says, "I can't afford to pay the mortgage this month." Dogbert says, "There's no reason to worry." Dogbert says, "I doubt your bank can afford postage to send you an eviction notice." Dilbert says, "That didn't make me worry less." Dogbert says, "How are we set for firearms?"
Wednesday April 01,
2009
Tags stupidity, ignorant, cruel, clueless, angry, yelling
Transcript
The boss says, "I hired a temp to cover your job while you're on vacation." The boss says, "She's far more qualified than you, and her stated goal is to replace you but don't worry." Carol says, "How am I supposed to not worry about that?" The Boss says, "yoga?"
Tuesday April 14,
2009
Tags dreams, aspiration, angry, scared, yelling, economy, screaming
Transcript
Asok says, "I'm recalibrating my hopes and dreams to be consistent with the state of the economy." Asok says, "My new goal is to not be smothered to death by an old mattress that falls off a salvage truck." Asok says, "And I am saving money by drinking nothing but mugs of stale air." Wally says, "You're scaring my coffee!"
Wednesday June 03,
2009
Tags leadership, assignment, describing, happy, ridiculous
Transcript
Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "Ratbert you're my new VP of sales." Dogbert says, "Your job is to set impossible goals for the salespeople and punish them for failing." Ratbert says, "Yay! I always wanted to be a sadist!" Dogbert says, "Dreams do come true."
Tuesday August 04,
2009
Tags suggestion, sitting, typing, annoyed, sarcasm
Transcript
The boss says, "Our VP of Sales asks that you answer customer questions through the sales reps, not directly." Dilbert says, "Is the goal to reduce the timeliness of my answers or just to filter out the accuracy?" The boss says, "Why are you like this?" DIlbert says, "Should I tell you or the sales reps?"
Saturday August 22,
2009
Tags sitting, talking, discussing, plan, deception, greed, corruption
Transcript
Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "We'll start ten mutual funds, each with randomly chosen stocks." Dogbert says, "Later we'll build our advertisements around whichever one does the best purely by chance." Dogbert says, "My goal is to be the premier provider of imaginary expertise." Wag! Wag!