Impulse Control Comic Strips - Page 16

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

162 Results for Impulse Control

View 151 - 160 results for impulse control comic strips. Discover the best "Impulse Control" comics from Dilbert.com.

Monday

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Monday  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #thought, #cognition, #technology, #invention, #computer, #intelligence

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I invented a neural interface for computers. Boss: Is that so users can control computers with their thoughts? Dilbert: No, the opposite. Your way would be like a squirrel trying to drive a car.

Boss Ends Neural Interface

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Ends Neural Interface  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mind control, #technology, #invention, #amnesia, #forgetting, #memory loss

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: We removed the neural interface to your brain. Do you remember anything we made you do? Boss: No, not a thing. Dilbert: That's probably for the best. Boss: Did I break any laws? Alice: Not according to the cop you dated for three days.

Human Sensation Slipping Away

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 Human Sensation Slipping Away - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #addiction, #humanity, #technology, #existentialism, #existential crisis, #awareness

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My sensation of being human is slipping away. My car practically drives itself, and the apps on my phone control my brain. I feel as if I need to do something stupid just to feel alive. Carol: Homeland security?

Asok Upgrades His Soul

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Asok Upgrades His Soul - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #actions, #beliefs, #empty life, #hilarious, #legacy souls, #social media, #dopamine, #delivery systems, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I used to have a traditional soul, but I upgraded it. Now I let the major social media companies control my beliefs and actions through their dopamine delivery systems., Dilbert: That sounds like and empty life. Asok: you old- timers with your legacy souls are hilarious.

Kill Code In Car

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Kill Code In Car  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #self-driving cars, #technology, #invention, #murder, #control, #government

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The government forced me to put a "kill code" in the operating system for our self-driving cars. Dogbert: And by "kill code," you mean it will bring the vehicle to a controlled stop? Dilbert: No, you're thinking of a "stop code."

Need To Be More Creative

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Need To Be More Creative - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #manager, #managing, #creativity, #company culture, #control, #leadership

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We need to be more creative. Also, don't do anything except what I tell you to do or else I'll fire you. Dilbert: Thank you for your leadership. Boss: We also need to communicate less.

We're Not A Bunch Of Idiots

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
We're Not A Bunch Of Idiots   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #marketing, #damage control, #slogan, #tag line, #image, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: A feature article in the business press called our leadership a "bunch of morons." Boss: To counter that slanderous story, our new market slogan is "We're Not A Bunch Of Morons!" CEO: Problem solved. Boss: It was deceptively easy.

Press Release About Hack

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Press Release About Hack - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hacker, #hacking, #information, #privacy, #damage control, #apology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Hackers got our customer data. Write a press release saying we are sorry and it will never happen again. Tina: Is any of that true? Boss: Part of it is. Tina: Which part. Boss: Hackers got our customer data.

Massive Data Breach

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Massive Data Breach  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #data, #facebook, #privacy, #apology, #statement, #big business, #lying, #damage control

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: We had a massive data breach. Hackers got into the private data of all of our customers. Boss: No problem. We'll issue a press release that says we're sorry and it will never happen again. Dilbert: That's what we said the last three times it happened. Boss: Our strategy is to wear them down.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #decision, #executives, #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #success, #manipulation

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Profits have increased thirty percent under my leadership. Dilbert: Snort. CEO: What? Dilbert: All you do is pick the best plans from the options we show you. CEO: Exactly, and I pick the best plan every time. Dilbert: That's because we only show you the best plans compared to the worst plans we can think of. We control every decision you make by manipulating your perception of the options. CEO: We need to fix that. Dilbert: How do you fix something that isn't broken?