Invest 5 Million Comic Strips - Page 16

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

200 Results for Invest 5 Million

View 151 - 160 results for invest 5 million comic strips. Discover the best "Invest 5 Million" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #conference call, #boss, #15 people, #availablity, #august 6th, #5 minutes, #so far so good

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: "Hello, this is Asok the intern. I am trying to set up a conference all with you boss and 15 other people."<Br>"Could you tell me all of the times he is available in the next six months?"<Br>"Only Augus sixth between 8:35 and 8:40." "So far so good."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #watch my shows, #invite me over, #cable, #pulled, #bug in salad

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilmon: "While you're here, be a dear and run some CAT-5 to my walk-in closet so I can watch my shows when I'm in there." Dilbert: "I've notived that you only invite me over when you need a cable pulled." Dilmon: "I don't want to put a bug in your salad, but I will." Dilbert: "I'm glad we had this talk."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #accomplishments, #iso 9000, #sei policies, #new policy, #comply, #head spin, #imagination, #pretending to work

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: "My accomplishments this month include complying with our ISO 9000, Sarbanes-Oxley and SEI-5 policies." "And if you make a new policy, I will comply with it so fast it will make your head spin!" "Is it my imagination or is pretending to work getting easier?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #trends are positive, #crushing debt, #moronic management, #aging product line

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina writes the Annual Report All trends are positive. Footnote 5: Unless you consider our crushing debt, moronic management, and aging product line. "What font is this? It's so tiny." "Enron Beelzebub."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bed idea, #new sourpuss, #optimism, #leadership 90 5 opitimism

View Transcript

Transcript

"Meet our new Sourpuss." "I heard that every office has one. And we didn't, so I went out and got one." "Does anything ever sound like a bad idea to you?" "Leadership is 90% optimism."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #desperate venture capitalist, #math grades, #first idea, #mezzanine funding, #cash bag, #students, #education

View Transcript

Transcript

Vijay, the World's Most Desperate Venture Capitalist "You two have good math grades." $ 8 "If you grow up and marry and produce a little engineer baby, I want to invest in its first idea." "Please don't be too late!" "Dude, we're already looking for mezzanine funding."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"Our CEO got a $400,000,000 bonus this year. Can I get that too?" "Wally, he got that much because he's a million times more important than you." "Fair enough. Can I have the $400 that you say I'm worth?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the Lobbyist "For a million dollars I can have the government include your industrial waste in the recommended food pyramid." "For another million I'll have Congress authorize huge tax breaks for soulless, Blackberry-using weasels with coffee breath." "I just want to hug you!" "That's another million."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

Executive Compensation Review Board "How much should we pay our CEO if he just shows up for work?" "FIFTY MILLION DOLLARS!!!" honk honk "The clown makes a good argument." "Aye!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

Our sales guy vastly underbid a job. Now it's my project to install the system in a way that's profitable. "Blame your customer for underspecifying the features then charge her through the nose for change orders." "Three million dollars for an electrical plug?" "The base model uses a potato battery."