Job Skills Comic Strips - Page 16

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View 151 - 160 results for job skills comic strips. Discover the best "Job Skills" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #successful project, #job eliminated, #smartest thing, #fail miserably, #clear strategy

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A woman (Tina ?) stands in the boss's office. She says, "I just realized that if my project is a success, my job will be eliminated." She says, "The smartest thing to do is to fail miserably and blame it all on your indecisiveness." She says, "I'm happy because I have a clear strategy!" The boss thinks, "I haven't nodded in a while."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Catbert, #evil director, #employee skills, #database, #moving everyone, #jobs, #laughed fuzzy

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Caption "Catbert: Evil H.R. Director" Catbert sits at a conference table with Wally and Asok. Catbert says, "I'm starting an employee skills database." Asok raises his hand and says, "Question: Is this the first step in moving everyone to jobs they don't want?" Catbert says, "No, no, no..... The first step was when I laughed myslef fuzzy thinking about it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Catbert, #evil director, #training classes, #skilled, #better job, #secret untraining method, #hammer, #head, #hit on head

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Caption "Catbert: evil h.r. director" Catbert looks into Asok's cubicle. Catbert says, "Asok, you have taken too many training classes." Asok says, "Too many?" Catbert says, "You're too skilled now. There's a risk you'll leave for a better job." Asok stands blind folded. Catbert holds a huge hammer above his head. Asok says, "Does the "secret untraining method' work every time?" Catbert says, "I've never tried it before."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #resume, #headhuneter, #evaluate, #engineer skills, #qualified, #loyalty

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The boss hands Dilbert a piece of paper and says, "I just got this resume from a headhunter." The boss says, "Evaluate her engineering skills and let me know if I should interview her." Dilbert approaches Alice, looks at the resume and says, "Well, Alice, You're almost qualified to work here, but I'm concerned about your loyalty."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #clever disguiyse, #engineering job, #take the job, #fashionable engineer

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Alice, Dilbert and Wally eat lunch. Alice says, "I'll wear a clever disguise then interview for the engineering job here." Alice says, "If he offers me more money than I make now, I'll take the job. Heh-heh" Alice sits on the boss' office diguised in a very high hat and a dark glasses. The boss says, "You're suspiciously fashionable for an engineer." Alice says, "I store tools up there."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #alice, #assisted suicide, #brochure, #job makes alice sick, #doctor, #doctors office, #medical

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ALice sits in the doctor's office. Alice says, "Are you saying my job makes my sick?" Doctor says, "Don't worry there's a cure." The docotr hands Alice a pamphlet and says, "Here's a brochure on assisted suicide." Alice says, "How do you assists?" The doctor says, "I gave you the brochure."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Catbert, #evil, #better job, #agreement, #industry, #cripes, #dance on head

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Caption: "Catbert: Evil H.R. Director" Catbert leans over the cubicle wall of a bearded man. Catbert says, "So you think you're leaving for a better job?" The man says, "Yes." Catbert says, "Your agreement with us bans you from working in this industry if you quit. Ha!" Catbert dances on the man's head. Catbert says, "Holy cripes! It DOES say you can dance on my head." Catbert says, "Hold still."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #longterm plan, #drift into job, #no impact, #finish wallowing

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Wally, Asok and Dilbert are having lunch. Wally says, "My long term plan is to drift into a job where I have no impact on anything." Asok looks faint, slouched back in his chair. A doctor holds a plunger and says, "He was too uninspired to finish swallowing."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #motivating you, #great job, #golfing day, #cow owkrers, #pay cut

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The Boss says to Dilbert and Wally, "I decided to try to motivate you." The Boss says, "...If you do a great job, you get to go on a golfing day with co-workers." Dilbert raises his hand and says, "Question: Can I take a pay cut instead." Wally thinks, "ZZZZ"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #pressure, #realize your job

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Wally says to The Boss, "Lately, I've been feeling a lot of pressure to do work." The Boss says, "Wally, do you realize this is your job?" Wally says, "There - that's exactly what I'm talking about."