Leadership Is Guessing Comic Strips - Page 16

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166 Results for Leadership Is Guessing

View 151 - 160 results for leadership is guessing comic strips. Discover the best "Leadership Is Guessing" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #job, #scope, #negotiating, #engineer, #demands, #failure, #stress, #business, #engineering

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Boss: We need to cut our budget. Go to all of our vendors and tell them to reduce their prices. Dilbert: Why would they do that for us? Boss: Tell them we'll buy from someone else unless they do. Dilbert: That's what we told them to get the prices we have now. I'm an engineer, not a professional negotiator. Your plan has failure designed into it. Your poor leadership already has me on the edge of madness. This could push me over the edge. Boss: And I need it done by Tuesday.

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Looks Good But Won't Work

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Looks Good But Won't Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ideas, #impracticality, #managers, #leadership, #threat

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Boss: The one they call Dilbert suggested we do something that looks good but won't work. CEO: Is this the first trace of management potential you've seen from him? Boss: You think it's a fluke? CEO: Let's keep an eye on it.

Resources Complain

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Resources Complain - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #leadership, #language, #jargon, #manager

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Man: I want to lodge a complaint against Dilbert. He called me a "resource." I find that offensive. Boss: Then he offended one of the resources. CEO: You're right. He does sound like a natural leader.

Wally's Invention Is The Best Seller Ever

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Wally's Invention Is The Best Seller Ever - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #success, #Promotion, #management, #work, #laziness

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Boss: The product you accidentally invented is our biggest seller in company history. So I'm promoting you to a leadership position. Wally: Phew! I thought you were going to make me work.

Wally's Coffee Drone

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Wally's Coffee Drone - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers, #management, #ideas, #invention, #coffee

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Wally: My leadership job didn't last long. I got demoted back to engineering. I guess they realized all of my ideas are about coffee. Dilbert: I've noticed that too. Wally: Watch out for my coffee drone behind you.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #character, #judging, #prediction, #reading, #con

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Boss: I'm a good judge of people. Dilbert: Really? What am I thinking right now? Boss: Hmmm... You're wondering how you could be more like me. You admire my leadership, and you write about me in glowing terms in your diary. Dilbert: What diary? Boss: Shhh! I'm still reading you. You have no patience and you don't like to be judged. Dilbert: Okay, that's enough. Boss: Nailed it!

Nailed It

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Nailed It - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #finances, #guessing, #estimate, #catchphrase, #clever

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Boss: I can't give you a raise because your financial forecasts were all wrong. Dilbert: Financial forecasts are always wrong. You told me to make one anyway. Boss: In other words, I nailed it and you failed it. Dilbert: Catchy.

We're Not A Bunch Of Idiots

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We're Not A Bunch Of Idiots - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #marketing, #damage control, #slogan, #tag line, #image, #business

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CEO: A feature article in the business press called our leadership a "bunch of morons." Boss: To counter that slanderous story, our new market slogan is "We're Not A Bunch Of Morons!" CEO: Problem solved. Boss: It was deceptively easy.

We Are Family

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We Are Family - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #Family, #relationships, #parents, #leadership

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Boss: I think of all of you as family. Wally: That's dumb. Boss: You'll never amount to anything. Wally: Mommy?

Second Opinion

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Second Opinion - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #clarification, #confusion, #instructions, #leadership, #boss, #flake

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Dilbert: Yesterday I asked for clarification on my assignment. But your clarification sounded nothing like the original assignment. Boss: Sometimes it's good to get a second opinion. Dilbert: Not from the same person.