Lowly Tech Writer Comic Strips - Page 16
168 Results for Lowly Tech Writer
View 151 - 160 results for lowly tech writer comic strips. Discover the best "Lowly Tech Writer" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share April 22, 2001's comic on:
The boss leans over Dilbert, points to the computer screen and says, "Why don't you try using a wireless fiber multifage?" Dilbert says, "Well, first of all, no such thing exists." Dilbert continues, "If it did exist, it would surely be the wrong solution for a software bug." Dilbert says, "And there's no extra money in our budget for hardware." Dilbert continues, "It would take six months to writer a business case and get funding." The boss yawns. Dilbert says, "Then our I.T. people would refuse to install it because it's not an approved vendor." The boss says, "Do you have a better idea?" Dilbert says, "Yes. I just fixed it." The boss says, "Do you think you can hold the fort while I go coach someone else?"
Share June 16, 2013's comic on:
Tags #interviews, #lying, #job interview, #exaggerate credntials, #more effective, #business skill, #misleading, #convince customers, #prodcuts, #dupe some idiot, #learn tech skills, #honesty, #hr, #send offer, #liar
Dilbert: You look good on paper, but how do I know you aren't lying about your skills? Interviewee: You should hope I am lying. Studies show that people who exaggerate their credentials tend to be more effective once hired. That's because misleading people is a valuable business skill. For example, I might need to convince our customers that our products are better than the competition. Or I might need to dupe some idiot into leaving my cubicle so I can concentrate. Anyone can learn technical skills, but lying is an art form. Dilbert: He doesn't have an honest bone in his body. Boss: Perfect. I'll tell Human Resources to send him an offer.
Share August 27, 2013's comic on:
Dilbert: How'd you bet the black eye? Boss: I was pulling up my blanket in bed. My hand slipped and I punched myself in the face. Dilbert: Okay, let's make some billion-dollar technology decisions.
Share November 22, 2013's comic on:
Share April 06, 2015's comic on:
Boss: No need to talk. Now we use an app to make hiring decisions. The app checked your online footprint and says you're a serial mansplainer with an unsuccessful dating history. I assume that means you have awesome technical skills. Interviewee: Full stack!
Share August 10, 2015's comic on:
Dilbert: I've always wanted to write a sci-fi novel. Even though I have no relevant training or experience. Should I follow my dreams? Dogbert: Yes, but keep in mind that the naked dreams are only suggestions.
Share August 11, 2015's comic on:
Dogbert: How's your novel coming along? Dilbert: I'm off to a slow start. All I did this week is stare at a blank screen and feel bad about my lack of talent. Dogbert: Maybe try writing something. Dilbert: I have to think that would make things worse.
Share August 12, 2015's comic on:
Dilbert: I'm telling everyone I'm writing a novel. That way I can leverage the invisible hand of social influence to motivate me for the next year. Alice: Have you written anything yet? Dilbert: Stop badgering me!!!
Share October 04, 2015's comic on:
Tina: It is hard to be a woman in this industry. Dilbert: I'll let you take this one. Wally: Got it. I'm short, bald, and nearsighted. I have no ambition, and I have all the sign of being a sociopath. I am unattractive and too old for the tech industry., I am shaped like a sad turnip and I do not make people laugh. Alice: What are you hens clucking about now? Tina: I can't begin to tell you how much I want to change the subject.