Management Comic Strips - Page 16
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341 Results for Management
View 151 - 160 results for management comic strips. Discover the best "Management" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday October 09,
2013
Tags complaining, demand solutions, layer of management, managers & supervisors, solutions not complaints, business
Transcript
Boss: Bring me solutions, not complaints. Dilbert: Okay. Let's abolish the layer of management that does nothing but demand solutions. Boss: Now you're just being a jerk. Dilbert: Is that a complaint?
Monday January 20,
2014
Tags irony, managers & supervisors, work ethic, manipulated, management fads, engaged, motivated, business
Transcript
Asok: Happy Monday! Thanks to your slavish pursuit of management fads, I feel engaged and motivated! Boss: It's sort of creepy. Asok: I love being manipulated!
Sunday January 26,
2014
Tags management jargon, engage employees, follow from front, anything, tell people, fake caring situation, fake passion, uncle died, combine both
Transcript
Boss: What's the newest management jargon I need to pretend you understand? Catbert: Experts say you should engage employees and follow from the front. Boss: Does that mean anything? Catbert: No one know. Just to be safe, you should tell people you're doing it. Boss: Should I act as if I'm passionate, or is this more of a fake caring situation? Catbert: Beats me. Try combining the two. Boss: Fake passion plus fake caring. Asok: My uncle died. Boss: Woot!!! What was his name?!
Thursday March 06,
2014
Tags employees, optimism, flattened management structure, uptick in fork attacks, insider trading, benefits, stock portfolio up, sciatica better, business
Transcript
CEO: How's our new flattened management structure working out? Boss: I'm seeing an uptick in fork attacks and insider trading. CEO: Now tell me the benefits. Boss: My sciatica no longer hurts. And my stock portfolio is way up.
Saturday April 12,
2014
Tags cruelty, executives, work ethic, acting ceo, murder employees, start up, unprofitable, ridiculous jargon, wishful thinking, luck, show off, management fad
Transcript
CEO: I heard that while you were acting CEO you... murdered nine employees, bought an unprofitable start-up and embraced a new management fad that is nothing but ridiculous jargon and wishful thinking. No one likes a show-off. Boss: I swear it was just luck.
Thursday June 12,
2014
Tags cruelty, abusive management, weakness, testosterone levels, worry
Transcript
Dilbert: Abusive management has reduced my testosterone levels and left me feeling... Alice: Die, you dishrag! Die! Ha ha ha ha ha! Dilbert: No worries. Alice: I sensed weakness.
Wednesday June 25,
2014
Tags celestial bodies, managers & supervisors, black hole, management style, dangerous, importnat emails, employee named ted, business
Transcript
Catbert: Your management style has caused a black hole to form. Boss: Is it dangerous? Catbert: No to us. It only absorbs important emails from employees. And en employee named Ted, apparently.
Sunday August 17,
2014
Tags behind schedule, obstical, projects, sound dumb, three engineers, time management skills
Transcript
Boss: All of your projects are behind schedule. You need to work on your time management skills. Dilbert:Let me see if I understand you correctly. You expect me to do the job of three engineers... ...and the only obstical to your brilliant plan os my poor time management? Boss: Stop making everything I say sound dumb. Dilbert: I dont do it that often. Because you only sound dumb when people understand what you mean. Boss: And thats too Often! Dilbert: Once a week tops.
Sunday August 31,
2014
Tags ten things, leaders do, nine habits, successful people, article, time management, tricks, good leadership, listening skills
Transcript
Wally: Did you get the link I sent about the ten things all leaders need to do? I also sent you an article about the nine habits of successful people. And I sent you an article about the time management tricks used by successful people. According ti my research. There are 17,429 tricks you need to master to be a good leader. That might seem like a lot. But if you master ten per year, you'll be 1.2% competent by the time you retire. Boss: Why are we having this conversation? Wally: Im going to add "Listening skills" to the list.
Sunday November 02,
2014
Tags obliviousness, time management, touch, touching, touching paper, turn off phone, ignore email, one touch, salad tongs, on etouch, interupted
Transcript
Boss: The key to good time management is touching each piece of paper once. If I can only touch it once, I'd better do it right. I'll need to make sure I don't get interrupted after the first touch.Turn off my phone, close my door, and ignore email. Okay, here goes one touch. Ugh. This will take an hour and I only have ten minutes. Make a copy, throw away the original, and don't let me touch the copy until I have an hour in my schedule. I wonder if I'm allowed to use salad tongs.


