Marketing Claims Comic Strips - Page 16
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249 Results for Marketing Claims
View 151 - 160 results for marketing claims comic strips. Discover the best "Marketing Claims" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday February 20,
2018
Not Morons
Tags #marketing, #tag line, #slogan, #name-calling, #insult, #obliviousness, #business
Transcript
Dilbert: Is it too late to rethink our new marketing slogan? When we say, "We're Not A Bunch Of Morons," it kinds sounds to my ears as if we are. Boss: But it says we're not. Dilbert: And you're not a rat-faced waste of oxygen. Boss: Thank you.
Tuesday April 17,
2018
Deducing Rank
Tags #hierarchy, #rank, #marketing, #jargon, #lingo, #adspeak, #business
Transcript
Dilbert: I don't know how to answer your question because I got here late and I haven't deduced your rank in the company. Woman: I'm the new director of Marketing, so you need to pretend my question makes sense. Dilbert: Give me a minute to get into that mindset. Woman: Take your time.
Saturday August 25,
2018
Dilbert Consults His Bumper Stickers
Tags #ceo, #Dilbert, #government regulations, #marketing, #question authority
Transcript
CEO: Government regulations prevent us from marketing our products the way we want. What should we do? Dilbert: I'll consult my bundle of bumper stickers for some guidance. "Question authority." CEO: How did you get so smart?
Friday November 23,
2018
Dilbert Teaches The Dumb People
Tags #computers, #insults, #marketing, #office workers, #sales, #teaching, #smart
Transcript
Dilbert: My boss asked me to teach a class on coding because it is hard to find programmers in this job market. Are there any smart people in the class or do you all work in marketing and sales? Voice: What's that supposed to mean? Dilbert: Thank you. Is anyone else in sales?
Thursday April 25,
2019
New Feature Added
Tags #business, #marketing, #office, #office workers, #time travel
Transcript
the boss: i need you to add a feature to our product because our marketing campaign says we already have it. dilbert: no problem. what's the feature? the boss: time travel. the boss: how long will it take to add that feature? dilbert: if i'm successful, i'll have it done by last week.
Sunday September 22,
2019
New Tv Ad
Tags #argument, #business ethics, #marketing, #men and women, #office workers, #relations between the sexes, #accuse
Transcript
Dilbert: Ben, from marketing, is here to give us a preview of our new tv ad. Ben: The opening scene shows a bunch of men who are weak and stupid, failing to solve a common problem. Then a confident and strong woman enters and solves the problem with ease. Dilbert: Isn't that incredibly sexist? Ben: No, because only the men are weak and stupid. Dilbert: And that's not sexist? Ben: Why are you being so weak and stupid? You sound like a bigot. Dilbert: I'll be quiet now. Wally: As quickly as it began, the rebellion was quashed.
Monday April 06,
2020
Extra Dogbert Clone
Tags #business, #marketing, #genius, #problem, #company, #situation, #clone, #blame
Transcript
the marketing genius dogbert: my genius alone will not be enough to fix the problems at this company. this looks like a five-dogbert situation. that is why i arranged to clone myself five times. boss: what's the extra clone for? dogbert: that one takes the blame.
Tuesday April 07,
2020
Three Dogberts
Tags #business, #Dogbert, #marketing, #plan, #clone, #singularity, #event, #book
Transcript
dogbert on desk with three dogberts behind him: i've got three dogberts working on your marketing plan, but even that isn't enough. i'd bump it up to five dogcarts, but then we risk creating a singularity event. boss: i don't get it. dogbert: read a book.
Sunday June 14,
2020
Need Boss To Make Decision
Tags #argument, #boss, #decision, #engineering, #knowledge, #marketing, #office workers, #sarcasm, #technology
Transcript
Dilbert: We need your help making a decision. Jeff doesn't understand my product strategy because he isn't an engineer. And I don't understand any of his marketing nonsense. That's why we came to you. Boss: Because I understand both marketing and engineering? Dilbert: No, it's because you don't understand either one. We didn't have a coin to flip, and your decisions are totally random, so... Boss: Maybe you could describe the situation. Dilbert: I don't see how that helps.
Tuesday May 10,
2011
Tags #computers & peripherals, #gadgets, #4g products, #goodness, #competetive, #g stands for
Transcript
Ted: For competitive reasons, we've rebranded all of our 4G mobile products as 8G. Dilbert: I'm curious what the marketing department thinks the "G" stands for. Ted: Guess what doesn't mean "goodness."