Mental Health Comic Strips - Page 16

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242 Results for Mental Health

View 151 - 160 results for mental health comic strips. Discover the best "Mental Health" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags org chart, personal problems, appendix, health, excuse, drama

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The Boss, "Carol, did you update the org chart yet?" Carol: "No. I kept waiting for it to become more important than my personal problems. But it just never happened." The Boss: "how about right now?" Carol: "Ouch! I think that's my appendix!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"My allergies are kicking up again." "GAAA!!!" "Good gravy, man! Do you have any idea what you've just done?!!" "Since you brought up the topic of health..." "When I was having my bones set, the doctor noticed that I have a detached colon." "My small intestines will eventually burrow up past my spleen and try to leave my body." "GAAA!!! HERE IT COMES!!!" gurgle "And don't get me started about my bunions."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags engineer of the year, fly to ny, receive trophy, winners, other companies, critical time, name someone lese, sick day, sleep, bathe, carol, marketing, upside awards, on head, health, business

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The Boss says to Alice, "Alice, I'm naming you our company's 'Engineer of the Year.'" The Boss continues, "You'll fly to New York and receive a trophy with the winners from other companies." Alice replies, "I'm too busy. Name someone else." The Boss approaches Dilbert. Dilbert says, "That's a critical time for my project." The Boss approaches Asok. Asok says, "I'm flattered but I already have no time for sleeping or bathing." The Boss approaches Wally. Wally says, "I have a sick day scheduled for that Friday." The Boss says to Carol, "Carol, I need you to go to New York and pretend to be an engineer." Carol is standing with other guests at the award party. They have their awards on their heads; one is drinking from his. A guest says to Carol, "Why yes, most of us ARE really from marketing. How can you tell?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags the inspirational ceo, poor results, engineers, cause & effcet, generate results, pathetic losers, losers, energy, squirming, health

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The CEO is at a lecturn. The CEO says, "Our company is too good to have results this poor." Dilbert raises his hand and says, "Question." The CEO thinks, "%#!* Engineers." The CEO says, "What?" Dilbert says, "Are you saying the laws of cause and effect do not apply?" Dilbert continues, "Logically, if we were good, we would generate good results." Sitting between the Wally and Alice, Dilbert continues, "Is it not more likely that we are pathetic losers who get exactly what we deserve?" The CEO says, "Yes, individually you're all losers. But together we're a great company. Thanks to my leadership." Wally says, "I feel like squirming but I don't have the energy."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags apathy, exercise & fitness, beating the system, exercising, cubicle, soul crushing work, walker

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Dilbert: I'm beating the system by exercising in my cubicle. If I stay in good health during my forty years of soul-crushing work, I might enjoy a year or two of good health when I retire. Wally: This is why I don't have goals. Dilbert: I'm going to use my walker on your grave!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags complaining, depression (mental state), inventions, self worth, doubt, microwave, machine language, kill me, beep

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Robot: You keep giving me trivial assignments that make me doubt my self-worth. Boss: Chill out. You don't hear the microwave whining all day long. Robot: He doesn't know that the machine word for "Please kill me is 'Beep.'" Microwave: Beep.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags embarras myself, emotional meltdown, panicked, public speaking, substance abuse, worry

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Dilbert: I'm panicked about my presentation tomorrow. Wally: Relax. What's the worst that could happen? Dilbert: Well, I could embarrass myself in a career-ending way. Wally: Oh. I didn't think about that one. It might be so bad that you can't even get a recommendation for a future job. Then you'd have an emotional meltdown followed by substance abuse, untreated health issues, and a lonely death. And it could all happen because of something as trivial as a typo on one of your slides. I guess I can add "comforting" to my list of things I'm no good at.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags illness, laziness, sitting disease, sit all day, bad health, safety more eimportant, drink coffee instead

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Wally: I've got a bad case of something the experts call "sitting disease." Studies show that people who sit all day for their jobs have 40% greater chance of dying in the next three years. Company policy says safety is more important than productivity, right? Boss: Um... sort of. Wally: So instead of sitting at my desk working, I plan to walk around and drink coffee. For safety reasons. Boss: GO sit at your desk or you're fired. There's a good chance this problem will resolve itself within three years.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags human body, love, rodents, hugs, without hassle, oxytocin, levels, cuddles, relationships

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Wally: I want the health benefits of hugging without the hassle of a relationship. This rat is like a patch that increases my ocytocin levels. Rat: I thought we were in love. Wally: That's your oxytocin talking.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags work ethic, brain wash, company profits, more imprtant, employers engagement, 12 hour days, work for money

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Catbert: I'm going to brainwash you to believe company profits are more important than your health. It's called "employee engagement," and it will make you work 12-hour days while thinking you enjoy every minute of it. Dilbert: Can I just work for money? Catbert: Why are you being a jerk about this?