Search Results for "minutes"
Share August 10, 2017's comic on:
Dilbert: According to my body cam playback, you have repeated your point twelve times. Maybe you could try saying other things for a few minutes. Man: I wasn't expecting you to be so rude. Dilbert: You're not the first to make that mistake.
Share October 01, 2017's comic on:
Boss: I have a meeting in a few minutes, so I only have time to do some micromanaging. Dilbert: Wouldn't it be better do do regular managing? Boss: I don't have time for the regular kind. Dilbert: Then wouldn't it be better to do no managing at all? Boss: Some is better than none. Dilbert: Except when less is more. Boss: This got too complicated. How about I just stand behind you and suggest you Google stuff? Dilbert: Fine. I wish I had some data for this. Boss: Try Googling it.rnet,
Share October 22, 2017's comic on:
Dilbert: Don't finish the software patch. We're replacing the entire system. Man: Why didn't you tell me sooner? Dilbert: I just found out. Man: While you were standing here. Dilbert: Um, no, I was standing somewhere else. Man: When? Dilbert: Twenty minutes ago. Man: Aha!!! You wasted twenty minutes of my time because you're a terrible person! Dilbert; I'm sorry. Now I feel awful. Man: You're just lucky I forgot to work on that patch.
Share October 27, 2017's comic on:
Share January 03, 2018's comic on:
Boss: I'm getting a lot of complaints about you being late for meetings. Wally: They never talk about anything important in the first ten minutes. Boss: They're usually talking about you being late. Wally: Why would I need to be there for that?
Share February 04, 2018's comic on:
The Boss: Wally, Im promoting you to the position of slow walker. Wally: I am almost curious about what that entails. The Boss: I'll be giving you all the assignments that could make my rivals in management successful. All you have to of is low walk those projects until they die from lack of energy. Wally: Its about time you recognized my value. Ive been pre[aring for this moment all of my life. The Boss: Meet me in my office in ten minutes for you new assignments. You're supposed to be here two hours ago. Wally: Is it too soon to ask for a raise?
Share March 25, 2018's comic on:
Dilbert: Thank you all for coming. I'm hoping we can make a lot of progress in the next hour. Alice; I didn't get any sleep last night, so don't expect much from me. Asok: I'm so hungry I can barely think. Man 1: I might be a bit distracted today because my wife told me she wants to leave me. Wally: I can't stay for the whole meeting. I have another thing in a few minutes Man 2: I'm only here to sabotage your project because I can't abide the success of others. Dilbert; Why don't all of you leave now and I'll make all the decisions myself. Boss: How'd the team meeting go? Dilbert: Better than I expected.
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Share October 06, 2018's comic on:
Dilbert: This price is too high. Ted: Why do you care? You're spending the company's money, not your own. And the company doesn't care if you live or die. Dilbert: Give me a minutes to think of why that doesn't make sense. Ted: Take as long as you need.
Share November 04, 2018's comic on:
Asok: I'm thinking of getting a degree in business and moving onto the management track. Is it fun being a boss? Boss: It's the best! I haven't done anything hard since the day I got this job. I mostly just criticize idiots all day long. It's as if the company is paying me to do my hobby. Speaking of pay, my salary is about triple your pay. Asok: Is there any downside? Boss: I had a lot of guilt at first. Asok: It must have been awful. Boss: Yes, it was the longest ten minutes of my life.