One Task Comic Strips - Page 16

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View 151 - 160 results for one task comic strips. Discover the best "One Task" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #moving compnay, #threats, #money, #one he guy, #load truck, #sandwhich, #Food, #exstortion, #couch, #sweat

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The Boss: "I hired the Dogbert Moving Company to handle your relocation." "It saves us money because they only send one huge guy." "After you load your couch on the truck, make me another sandwich, or, again, I'll kill you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #presidential candiditae, #funny haired one, #social policies, #exact opposite, #tax plan, #bad plan, #make out, #like intelligent men, #she lied

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Dilbert asks Tina, "Which presidential candidates do you like?" Tina replies scratching her head, "I strongly favor the one with the funny hair. I forgot his name." Dilbert says, "His social policies are the exact opposite of your views." Tina answers, "Really?" Tina says to Dilbert, "Well, I like his tax plan." Dilbert replies, "Every credible economist thinks it's a bad plan." Tina answers, "Oh." Dilbert says, "It's a good thing we talked before you polluted the system with your vote." Dilbert then asks Tina, "Do you want to make out?" Dilbert arrives at home and explains to Dogbert, "She claimed to like intelligent men, but she lied."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #impractical plan, #philosophy, #hard, #worth doing, #walk around, #hop on one foot, #reasoning capabilities

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Dilbert says to the Boss, "This plan is impractical." The Boss says to Dilbert, "My philosophy is that if it isn't hard, it isn't worth doing." Dilbert responds, "That's easy to say." Dilbert continues, "So according to your philosophy, you shouldn't have said it." Dilbert then says to the Boss, "And it's easy to walk around. Maybe you should hop on one foot." Dilbert continues, "Or would it be better to recant your absurd philosophy..." Dilbert says to the Boss, "And bow before superior reasoning capabilities?" The Boss leaves Dilbert hopping one one foot.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #controlling gaze, #lazy, #management experts, #managers & supervisors, #one on one meetings, #regular does, #theiveing, #underlings, #work ethic, #toxic saboteur, #business

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Boss: Management experts say bosses should have frequent one-on-one meeting with underlings. Apparently, you need regular doses of my controlling gaze to prevent you from evolving into a lazy, thieving, toxic saboteur. Carol: It's working great. So far I feel less lazy about doing the other things you mentioned.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #millennial employee, #bureacracy, #poor communication, #task force, #regular updates, #business

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Boss: Our millennial employees keep quitting because of our bureaucracy and poor communication. CEO: Form three task forces to look into it. But don't tell any of the task forces that there are two others doing the same thing. Boss: Should I give you regular updates? CEO: Nah.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meetings, #finish tasks, #communication skills, #poor skills, #task, #breakdown, #work, #delgatation

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Boss: Did you finish the tasks we talked about in the last meeting? Dilbert: No, because your communication skills are so poor that I had no idea I was supposed to do a task. Wally: Did I have a task?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hurl software, #phase one, #server, #unplug server, #virtualization project, #team of monkeys

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Dogbert: There's no need to worry about the server virtualization project. In phase one a team of blind monkeys will unplug unnecessary servers. In phase two, the monkeys will hurl software at whatever is left. Voila!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cubicle, #envious, #two monitors, #one monitor, #twice the work

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Alice: You let Dilbert have two flat screen monitors in his cubicle. Alice: I'm not the least bit envious, but I should point out that a worker with two monitors should be able to do twice as much work. Alice: Did you know there are some advantages to having only one monitor?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #improbable solution, #work problem, #one million, #business model

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Dilbert: I need an improbable solution to a work problem.Deus ex machina services. Dogbert says, "Sure. I charge one million dollars for each improbable solution." Dilbert says, "Okay, then I also need an improbable way to get things from you for free." Dogbert says, "Stop breaking my business model."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #make copies, #mental task, #bloated cadaver, #staple or no, #asks secretary

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Asok: Our boss asked me to make some copies. But I fear doing such a menial task will brand me as unimportant." Asok: I was hoping you could make the copies for me since your career is already a bloated cadaver If I am reading your body language correctly, you are wondering 'staple or no staple?'"