Poorly Written Document Comic Strips - Page 16

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

248 Results for Poorly Written Document

View 151 - 160 results for poorly written document comic strips. Discover the best "Poorly Written Document" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 17, 1996's comic on:


Tags #do math, #idiot, #monday and fridays, #shocking, #sick days, #idiot savant

View Transcript

Transcript

The secretary reads a document and says to the Boss, "Oh my! This is shocking!" The Boss asks, "What?" The secretary says, "40% of all sick days taken by your staff are Fridays and Mondays!" The Boss walks away saying, "What kind of idiot do they think I am?" The secretary says, "Not an idiot savant. They can do math."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 03, 1996's comic on:


Tags #hit market window, #ride market research, #technical testing, #overhead, #like a bird, #hit window

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice, the Boss and Dilbert stand at a conference table looking at a document. The Boss says, "We'll have to eliminate a few steps in order to hit the market window." The Boss continues, "I think we can get rid of market research and technical testing. They're basically 'overhead.'" The Boss writes on the chart and says, "Gone! Now we'll hit the window!" Dilbert says, ". . . Like a bird."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 04, 1996's comic on:


Tags #budget estimates, #year, #bungling, #indecison, #no capital several months, #reckless, #ear end, #orgy of aquisition, #capital

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally hands the Boss a document and says, "Here are my budget estimates for the year." Wally continues, "Thanks to management bungling and indecision, I plan to use no capital for several months followed by a reckless year-end orgy of acquisition." Wally asks, "Is that what you were looking for?" The Boss responds, "Tell me again what 'capital' is."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 10, 1996's comic on:


Tags #career choices, #Dogbert, #helpless people, #insignificant insects, #occupational preference, #remove vital organs, #serial killer, #career counselor

View Transcript

Transcript

A man sits across from Dogbert's desk. Dogbert reads from a document and says, "According to your occupational preference test, you like to remove vital organs from helpless people." Dogbert continues, "That narrows the career choices to doctor or serial killer. Do you get along with other people?" The man replies, "Other people are insignificant insects." Dogbert responds, "We'll have to go to a tie-breaker question."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 30, 1996's comic on:


Tags #alternatives, #analysis, #coworker not boss, #information, #urgent need, #analysis of alternatives, #science

View Transcript

Transcript

A man enters Dilbert's cubicle, hands him a document and says, "I need this information today. Plus a complete analysis of the alternatives." Dilbert crinkles the paper and stuffs it in the wastebasket. The man says, "That wasn't nice." Dilbert responds, "In today's lesson, you learn that you're my co-worker, not my boss."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 31, 1996's comic on:


Tags #need input, #end of day, #drop request here, #perpeytaul ignorance, #touch stuff

View Transcript

Transcript

A man enters Wally's cubicle, hands him a document and says, "Wally, I need your input on this by the end of the day." Wally points to a stack of paper and says, "Please drop your request here, in 'Wally's Pile of Perpetual Ignorance.'" The man asks, "Can't I just give it to you?" Wally replies, "I don't like to touch that stuff with my hands."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 22, 1996's comic on:


Tags #employee suggestions, #harmless, #stupud, #theorym, #replace pencils

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says to Dilbert, "The only employee suggestions that get accepted are the ones that are harmless and stupid." They sit down at a conference table and Wally continues, "I submitted some harmless and stupid ideas to test my theory." The Boss sits at his desk and reads a document that says, "Suggestion: Replace all #2 pencils with #4 pencils. The hard lead lasts longer yet costs the same." The Boss thinks, "That could work."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 24, 1996's comic on:


Tags #new objectoves, #achievable, #objectives approved, #measurable

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice hands the Boss a document and says, "Here's a draft of my new objectives. I tried to make them achievable." The Boss reads, "No matter how stupid my co-workers are, I will not punch a hole in anyone's torso, rip out a vital organ and keep it in my cubicle as a warning to others." Outside the Boss's office, Wally says to Dilbert, "I hope she gets those objectives approved." Inside the office, Alice yells, "Yes! It's measurable!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 28, 1996's comic on:


Tags #day care facility, #free range day care, #roam free, #economical, #powerpoint lsides

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss and Dogbert sit at a table. Dogbert shows the Boss a document and says, "Here's my final plan for the company's day care facility." Dogbert continues, "I call it free range day care. The children are allowed to roam free among the cubicles. It's very economical." Two small children stand in Wally's cubicle. The boy says, "I don't believe he's really an evil troll." The girl says, "Look at the 'Powerpoint' slides he's making. It's not human."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 13, 1996's comic on:


Tags #abandon startegy, #making good products, #ours strategy mergers, #business spin offs, #random reorgozations, #accelerate, #stock price, #fruitless partnerships

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss reads a document and tells Dilbert, Wally and Alice, "The company announced that we will 'abandon our strategy of making good products . . .'" The Boss continues, "From now on we'll 'pursue a desperate strategy of mergers, business spin-offs, fruitless partnerships and random reorganizations.'" The Boss reads, "And we'll accelerate our program of paying the good employees to leave." Dilbert asks Wally, "Stock price?" Wally looks at his monitor and replies, "Up three points."