Product Specs Comic Strips - Page 16

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391 Results for Product Specs

View 151 - 160 results for product specs comic strips. Discover the best "Product Specs" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 05, 1994's comic on:


Tags #product, #what it does, #who would duse it, #rest later, #plan to sell, #psychic

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"We don't know what the project should do or who would use it." "But if you could tell us what it costs to build it, we'll figure out the rest later." "What year do you plan to sell it?" "What am I - psychic or something??"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 30, 1994's comic on:


Tags #after every typo, #point and click, #poorly documented commands, #reboot, #interface

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"We could design the product with a simple point - and - click interface..." "Or we could require the user to choose among thousands of poorly documented commands, each of which must be typed exactly right on the first try." "Bear in mind, we'll never meet a customer ourselves." "Make it so they have to reboot after every typo."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 08, 1994's comic on:


Tags #two people, #focus group, #loved prodcut, #not statistically useful, #free food, #sandwhiches

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The Boss: Two people in a focus group loved our product. So we're doubling our production. Dilbert: The opinions of two people are not statically useful. ...especially if you're one of the two people. The boss: I knew those free sandwiches were too good to be true.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 27, 1994's comic on:


Tags #dogbert ethics advisor, #prodcut, #mail people, #high fees, #procedure, #ethics advice, #return stupid prodcut

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"Dogbert: Ethics Advisor" "We mail our product to people and tell them it's free for one year." "Then we start nailing them with high fees because they'll forget the procedure for returning the product. They're trapped." "So, did you have some ethics advice?" "No. I asked you here so I can return your stupid product."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 01, 1994's comic on:


Tags #dogberts tech support, #online data base, #compatible, #computer, #software, #red blotches, #poison ivy, #technology, #engineering

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DOGBERTS TECH SUPPORT Dogbert sits at a desk using a computer. He says into the phone, "According to my online database, our product isn't compatible with your computer." Dogbert continues, "It's also incompatible with all other computers and all other software including our own." Dogbert continues, "And those red blotches on your hands - that's because our box is made of poison ivy."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 26, 1994's comic on:


Tags #design interface, #got out, #hired professional, #international terrorist, #last week, #went to yale, #new employee, #talks with dilbert

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The Boss says to Dilbert, "I hired a professional to help us design our product interface." The Boss continues, "His last job was as an international terrorist. It's not a perfect fit but he went to Yale." Dilbert sits at a table and says to the man sitting with him, "So, I hear you went to Yale, Sven." Sven answers, "I yust got out last week."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 27, 1994's comic on:


Tags #computer interface, #hurt user, #new sound designs, #sound of puking, #fingernails on blackboard, #bird hitting window, #disturbing sounds, #visceral reactions

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Dilbert stands behind a man with an eye patch who is working on his computer. The man says, "My theory is that a computer interface should hurt the user." The man continues, "So I designed some new sounds into our product. We've got 'sound of puking,' 'fingernails on blackboard' and 'bird hitting window.'" Dilbert looks ill. The man continues, "But suppose the user does something WRONG. Then we have the sound of a puking bird hitting a blackboard." Dilbert falls down.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 10, 1995's comic on:


Tags #ergonomic key board, #big q, #porgram, #quality, #tletter q, #whiny customers

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A co-worker shows Dilbert and Wally a keyboard. The co-worker says, "This ergonomic keyboard is our fist product developed under the 'Big Q' program." The man continues, "The 'Q' stands for quality." Dilbert says, "Speaking of Q . . . it's missing the letter Q." The man says angrily, "You sound just like our whiny customers." Dilbert says, I guess the 'Q' stands for 'uality.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 25, 1995's comic on:


Tags #greatest accomplishemnts, #big raise, #draft, #white paper, #impact of work, #owls, #losy woodland, #habitats

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Dogbert sits in Dilbert's office with a laptop balanced on his lap. He says to Dilbert, "Tell me your greatest accomplishments at work. I'll use that to hype you up with your boss so you get a big raise." Dilbert says, "I wrote a draft of a white paper on a strawman process to reengineer our product process." Dogbert asks, "And what was the impact of that work?" Dilbert answers, I think some owls lost their woodland habitats."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 10, 1995's comic on:


Tags #engineering, #uses program, #marketing, #prodcut, #urrelevant, #engineers, #same as marketeers, #sitting in cave, #rocks are edicble, #recipes, #business

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Stan in marketing works at his computer while Dilbert looks over his shoulder. Dilbert says, "Everybody in engineering uses this program I wrote. I think marketing should turn it into a product." Stan replies, "I wouldn't buy this." Dilbert tells Stan, "That's irrelevant because the target market would be engineers." Stan says, "Engineers think the same as marketeers." Dilbert replies, "If that were true we'd be sitting in a cave trying to decide if rocks are edible." Stan points to the computer and says, "You know, you could keep recipes on this."