Raise Blood Pressure Comic Strips - Page 16

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257 Results for Raise Blood Pressure

View 151 - 160 results for raise blood pressure comic strips. Discover the best "Raise Blood Pressure" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 09, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #zimbu the monkey

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Dilbert and Zimbu the Monkey sit across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "I've got to cut staff in engineering. I'm trying to determine which one of you is more valuable to keep." The Boss says, "I've been hearing good things about Zimbu the Monkey. Which one of you is Zimbu the Monkey?" Dilbert and Zimbu both raise their hands. Dilbert thinks, "This is not the proudest moment of my professional career."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 04, 1993's comic on:


Tags #the boss, #Dogbert, #job, #application, #Promotion

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Dogbert stands on a chair across from the Boss's desk and shouts, "I'm a loud dog! Give me a job! You must obey me because I'm loud!" The Boss says, "Okay okay." Dogbert says, "That was too easy. There must be something wrong with the job. It must be an entry level job . . ." Dogbert stands on the desk and kicks something at the Boss. Dogbert shouts, "I want a raise!! Promote me, you imbecile!!" The Boss thinks, "Bad trend."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 05, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #office, #man, #assertive

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Dogbert walks down the hall thinking, "Ha! My technique of being loud is working. I got a job and a raise in one day. Now I need an office." Dogbert shouts at a man, "Hey! I want your office now!!" Dogbert stands on the desk watching the man pack his things. Dogbert yells, "Wait . . . I might be able to use the frame for something!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 14, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #alice, #Dogbert, #the boss, #company president, #stock, #business trip

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Dogbert sits at his desk reading the newspaper. Dogbert says, "What?? The presidents of other companies make way more money than I do!!" Dogbert continues, "I'd better make some short-sighted cuts. That should raise our stock price and make my stock options worth millions." The Boss says to Dilbert, Wally and Alice, ". . . All business trips are one-way from now on . . . And you're all required to take a trip this afternoon."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 18, 1993's comic on:


Tags #laptop, #ratbert, #Dilbert, #pictures, #mom

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Dilbert sits at his desk working on a laptop. Ratbert says, "I noticed I wasn't in any of your old photo albums, so I pasted myself into a few key places." Ratbert shows Dilbert the album and says, "Here I am hugging you when you're a baby . . . Basically I put myself over all the pictures of this ugly woman." Dilbert says, "That ugly woman is my mom." Ratbert says, "Hey! I didn't raise you to talk bad about other people!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 01, 1994's comic on:


Tags #making film, #pretending, #kiss, #girl friend, #hug, #Dogbert, #mother, #send film, #stop worry, #Family

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"Mmm...Oh, Dilbert! Mmm...!" "Cut!" "Do you really think this will make Mom stop worrying about me?" "Only if you raise your voice for the 'Mmm' part."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 05, 1994's comic on:


Tags #no raises, #promotions, #job titles, #named beverly

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The Boss: We're flattening the organization to eliminate levels and put everybody in a wide salary band. Now instead of not getting a promotion. you'll only not get a raise, wally: So what job title do we use? The Boss: You'll all be named Beverly.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 03, 1995's comic on:


Tags #dna smaple, #fatal genetic problems, #hurt productivity, #project dealine

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The Boss holds a syringe. He says to Dilbert, "Drop your trousers and turn around. I need a DNA sample." Dilbert bends over looking angry. As draws Dilbert's blood, the Boss says, "We're scanning for any fatal genetic problems that could hurt productivity." Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss enters holding the test results and says, "Uh . . . we decided to move your project deadline up a week." Dilbert's hair stands up straight.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 23, 1995's comic on:


Tags #salary deonds, #Opinion, #interest in understanding, #dogcart relations, #hype performance

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Dilbert says to the Boss, "My salary depends on your opinion of my work. But you have no interest in understanding what I do, so . . ." Dogbert enters carrying a briefcase. Dilbert gestures toward him and says, "I hired the Dogbert Public Relations Firm to hype my performance and get me a big raise." Dogbert hands the Boss a document and says, "Press release: engineer cures cancer while saving baby from burning building." The Boss says, "That's not in his objectives."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 09, 1995's comic on:


Tags #succeed, #competitors, #salary increases, #external competition, #idiot boy

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The Boss, Wally, Dilbert and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "We'll succeed if we understand who our competitors really are!" Wally says, "My competition is Dilbert and Alice, with whom I compete for salary increases and rare promotion opportunities." The Boss says, "I meant our external competition." Wally says, "Tell me again what we make." Dilbert whispers to Wally, "No raise for you, idiot boy."