Repeat Business Comic Strips - Page 16

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Repeat Business

View 151 - 160 results for repeat business comic strips. Discover the best "Repeat Business" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #customer, #meeting, #attractive woman, #shake hand, #handsome man, #translate, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "The customer is an attractive young woman. You'll need to bring a handsome man with you to translate." The Boss says, "The translator will repeat everything you say, word for word, but he'll say it more handsomely." Dilbert says, "Hi." Customer says, "What's he jabbering about?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #said same thing, #27 times, #using different words, #stop talking, #rude, #repeat yourself

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice says, "Excuse me. By my count, you've said the same thing 27 times, using different words." Alice says, "If I can get sworn statements from everyone here that we understand your point, will you stop talking?" Man says, "That's mighty rude of you." Alice says, "I dont' get your point. Can you repeat it 26 more times?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #stealing, #excuse

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "It's slow at work so I created my own internet business called Dilbertfiles.com woman says, "So you're stealing company resources?" Dilbert says, "I call myself a CEO." woman says, "I think I saw someone who isn't a miscreant."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #revenue, #firing, #prediction

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "my side business Dilbertfiles.com, is getting lots of attention." Dilbert says, "I have a feeling I will soon be leaving my cubicle behind." Dogbert says, "Yep." Catbert says, "All in favor of firing this idiot for using company resources..."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #firings, #layoffs, #company, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "I don't care that you fired me for using work time to start my own internet business." Dilbert says, "My new company will be a huge success!" The Boss says, "yes, and we own it because you created it during work." Dilbert says, "Then I barfed in my box full of junk." Dogbert says, "You may have lost that round."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #explaining, #pirate, #plan, #scheme, #uncertainty, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "I'm taking a side job as a pirate." Dogbert says, "I'll kidnap employees and authorize huge ransom payments to myself for their return." The boss says, "Then you'll return them safely?" Dogbert says, "That's a different business model."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sitting, #meeting, #business, #venture, #idea, #objecting, #ridicule, #criticism, #scheme

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "We're going into the internet news business." Dilbert says, "We're hiring reporters?" Dogbert says, "No, we'll summarize stories from other sites and provide links." Dilbert says, "So?we'll be parasites?" Dogbert says, "Go buy a vinyl record, Grandpa."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #1993, #landline, #cell phone, #romance

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman says, "Give me a call sometime." Dilbert says, "Maybe." Dilbert says, "I'll need to do a complete forensic analysis of your business card." Dilbert says, "Your home phone is a landline. That must come in handy when someone calls from 1993."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #agreement, #areas of expertise, #business units, #confusion, #consolidate shared services, #diagnostic review, #evil director, #from centers, #invoice, #meeting, #presentation, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil director of human resources man says, "My consultants can transform human resources." man says, "We'll start with a diagnostic review." man says, "Then you'll form centers of excellence around areas of expertise." man says, "Next, you'll consolidate shared services and drive continuous improvement." man says, "Business units will translate operational imperatives into HR actions. Catbert says, "Does any of that mean the same as firing idiots and cutting the budget?" man says, "Which answer gets us hired?" Catbert says, "Try yes." Man says, "Yes!" Catbert says, "Great. Put a bow on it and send me the invoice."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #negotiations, #meeting, #capitalism, #disagreeing, #distrust, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "If we lease a machine from you, how can we be sure you'll stay in business to service it?" Man says, "How can we be sure you'll have enough money to pay the lease?" Dilbert says, "You could check our financials." Man says, "I'm pretty sure your financials are as fraudulant as ours." Dilbert says, "Good point. Maybe we could ask trusted third parties to vouch for us." Dilbert says, "Do you trust any third parties?" Man says, "Not since my financial advisor put my retirement savings in a ponzi scheme and had an affair with my wife." And thus ended capitalism Dilbert says, "Well, we tried." Man says, "Maybe I could grow food in my car."