Shake Hand Comic Strips - Page 16
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354 Results for Shake Hand
View 151 - 160 results for shake hand comic strips. Discover the best "Shake Hand" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday January 13,
1998
Tags psychic ability, flip coin, called, edge, coincidence, coin toss, ratbert
Transcript
Dilbert holds a coin out in his hand. He says, "I will debunk your ludicrous claim of psychic ability with one hundred flips of this coin." Ratbert looks on. Dilbert flips the coin and says, "Call it." Ratbert trows out his hands and says, "Edge." The coin lands on its edge. Dilbert frowns and says, "That was just coincidence." Ratbert says, "I call edge for the next 99, too."
Friday January 23,
1998
Tags flu, germs, fly through air, sneezed, tissue, sick, ill, contagious, office illness, medical
Transcript
An unnamed flunky says, "Don't worry about my flu, Alice. Germs don't fly through the air." He sneezes so hard his tissue is blown out of his hand. Aachooo! He looks at Alice and says, "Remember, germs don't fly through the air." ALice's hair is pushed back as if in the middle of a wind storm. She pushes up her sleeves, preparing to punch the guy and says, "Yours are gonna."
Wednesday January 28,
1998
Tags deputy of common sense, motivate emplyees, insulting gifts, symbolism, chess pieces, same team, pawns, saving rooks
Transcript
Dogbert is dressed as a policeman and stands on The Boss's desk and says, "You are accused of trying to motivate employees with insulting gifts." The Boss says, "You're missing the symbolism. I gave them chess pieces to show them we're all on the same team." Dogbert hass a hand on his gun and syas, "Specifically, you gave them pawns." The Boss says, "I'm saving the rooks for bonus day."
Thursday January 29,
1998
Tags deputy of common sense, safety inspector, after insepction, determine pay, decrease in accidents, trips wally
Transcript
Dogbert, Deputy of Common Sense, stands a filing cabnet and says, "Are you the government safety inspector?" The inspector says, "Yup. I love my job." Dogbert watches as the inspector trips Wally and notes something on his clipboard. Wally's glasses fall off and he says, "HEY!" Dogbert puts his hand on his gun and says, "How does your boss determine your pay?" The inspector writes something down and says, "It's based on the decrease in accidents after my inspection."
Tuesday February 10,
1998
Tags imgination, sexier, everyday, super model, kryptonite
Transcript
Dogbert is sitting on the couch. On an endtable is a lamp and a magazine. Dogbert says, "Is it my imagination or am I getting sexier every day?" Dogbert pulls out a hand mirror and says, "The mirror doesn't lie. I AM getting sexier." At the kitchen table, Dogbert informs Dilbert, "I've decided to become a supermodel." Dilbert pours himself a bowl of cereal and says, "Okay, but stay away from kryptonite."
Friday February 13,
1998
Tags dogbert the supermodel, lingerie shoot, short round guy, black socks, ice
Transcript
The ugly lady with the fashionably outdated glasses is wearing a toga and sandals. She hands Dogbert a pair of black dress socks and says, "Your first assignment is a lingerie shoot. You'll be wearing black socks." Dogbert has a lump of silly putty on his head as a 'beauty tumor.' The woman says, "There's nothing sexier than a short round guy in black socks." Dogbert sits on a table or block. Dogbert, wearing the dress socks, looks at himself in a hand mirror and wags his tail. He says, "Wow! This works!" Heat is rising off the ugly woman and she says, "Quick! Get me a big block of ice to sit on!"
Tuesday February 17,
1998
Tags Catbert, evil hr diretor, company's goal, double efficiency, downsize, marketing, good at math, business
Transcript
Catbert says, "The company's goal is to double the efficiency of all employees." Dilbert raises his hand and says, "Question: If we double our efficiency, won't you downsize half of us?" Alice and Wally sit on either side of him. Catbert says, "Don't talk to anyone in marketing. They aren't so good at math."
Wednesday February 18,
1998
Tags info meerical, invest savings, sell educational info, avoid scams, phase two
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his computer, hand on the mouse. Dogbert stands on the desk and says, "I'm going to make an infomercial." Dogbert starts wagging his tail and says, "I'm targeting the people who want to invest their savings, but don't know how." Dilbert says, "I hope you plan to sell educational information about how to avoid scams." Dogbert says, "Good idea for phase two!"
Sunday February 14,
1993
Tags the boss, Dilbert, interview, applicant, engineer, standard, pens, pencil, perform, natural, fabrics, carry, wearing
Transcript
The Boss says, "Dilbert, I want you to interview the job applicant who's coming in today." The Boss continues, "See if he's got what it takes to be an engineer." Dilbert holds out his hand and says to the candidate, "Hi, Karl. We'll start with the standard engineering test." Karl says, "Okey dokey." Dilbert says, "I have thiry-five pens and pencils here. How many are really needed to perform your job?" Karl answers, "All of them." Dilbert says, "Correct . . . Now, what is the proper way to carry them with you?" Karl puts all of the pens and pencils in his shirt pocket. Dilbert says, "Right again. Last question: what is the advantage of wearing natural fabrics?" Karl thinks, "Uh-oh . . . Panic situation." Sweat flies off his forehead and his hair sticks up. He says, "I . . . I don't know." Dilbert says, "That's okay. I was testing your hair. You're an engineer." Karl smiles.
Monday April 27,
1998
Tags dogbert the consultant, excellent advice, 50k monthly, offer bad advice, 45k month
Transcript
Banner reading "Dogbert the Consultant" appears across top of page. Dogbert sitting in front of The Boss. Dogbert says, "I cab give you excellent advice for $50,000 per month." Dogbert sitting in chair continues, "If budget is a problem, I also offer bad advice for the low price of $45,000 per month." Dilbert and Alice watch as The Boss runs past their cubicle with scissors in hand. Alice says, "That's not a good sign."


