Shirt And Tie Comic Strips - Page 16

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

161 Results for Shirt And Tie

View 151 - 160 results for shirt and tie comic strips. Discover the best "Shirt And Tie" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #achieve goal, #analyze incoming email, #automate, #excellent plan, #online tech, #software, #throw rocks, #useful repsonse, #wear ski masks, #sarcas, #supportiveness, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert, "I have an idea!" The Boss continues, "We'll automate our online tech support." The Boss says to Dilbert, "Our software will analyze incoming e-mail and send responses based on key words!" Dilbert, his tie flying up, says to The Boss, "That's an excellent plan." The Boss responds, "I know." Dilbert says, "But what about the one percent of our customers who actually get a useful response?" Dilbert says to The Boss, "Maybe we could wear ski masks and throw rocks at their houses." Dilbert says, "Then we could achieve our goal of 100% customer dissatisfaction! Whoo hoo!" Dilbert throws his arms up in the air as The Boss watches him. Dilbert thinks to himself, "Maybe I should work someplace where sarcasm and supportiveness are different things."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employees, #ignorance (knowledge), #new guy, #first day, #calling in sick, #message, #problem getting dressed, #head in arm hole, #boss can relate, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: It's the new guys first day and he's calling in sick. His message says he was putting on his shirt and got his head caught in an arm hole. Good hire. Boss: I had that same problem with my pants.

Dilbert Invents Tube Clothes

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Invents Tube Clothes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #clothing, #decision, #decision-making, #inventions, #success, #thinking, #tube clothes, #eliminate decisions, #mark zuckerberg, #gray t-short, #success secrets

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I call my invention "tube clothes." The idea is to eliminate as many daily decisions as possible, the way Mark Zuckerberg does with his gray t-shirt. I like to understand what makes people successful. Dogbert: And you narrowed it down to his shirt?

Boss Asks Wally To Talk To School

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Asks Wally To Talk To School - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #gender, #feminism, #technology, #Women, #obliviousness, #bad idea

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Wally, I need you to talk to my daughter's school about careers in stem fields. Wally: Why me? Boss: All the good people are busy. Wally: Fair enough. Boss: We want to fix the gender imbalance. Wally: I'll wear my good shirt.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Advice, #advising, #teenagers, #parents, #Parenting, #tattoo, #piercing, #terrorism, #boundaries

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: My teenager wants to pierce his ear. Should I let him? Dilbert: Sure. It's only a tiny hole and it heals. Carol: Good point. Narrator: Next day. Carol: Now he wants a small tattoo. Dilbert: Well, if it doesn't show... Narrator: Next week. Carol: Now he wants to grow a human ear on his back, the way scientists did with that rat. Dilbert: As long as he can cover it with a shirt when he gets a job, I see no problem. You have to let him live his own life. Narrator: One week later. Carol: He joined ISIS. Dilbert: I forgot to mention that I'm no good at giving advice.

Food Poisoning On Trip

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Food Poisoning On Trip - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #misery, #suffering, #travel, #health, #work

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: How'd your business trip to Elbonia go? Dilbert: Not so good. I got food poisoning and spent two days in a fetal position praying for death. Boss: It must feel good to be back. Dilbert: It's closer to a tie than you'd think.

Attending A Meeting For Kevin

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Attending A Meeting For Kevin - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #virtual reality, #sexual harrassment, #real, #fantasy, #imagination

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Can you attend a meeting for Kevin, our new immersive VR employee? Dilbert: Why can't Kevin do it? Boss: Alice needed him for something. Alice: Good. Now do it again, but without your shirt. Kevin: I'm not comfortable with this.

Someone Stole Phb's Idea

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 Someone Stole Phb's Idea - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ideas, #patent, #copyright, #invention, #credit

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Hey! Someone stole my product idea! Dilbert: To be fair, your idea would have been obvious to a monkey with a drinking problem. Boss: But a monkey couldn't build this product. Dilbert: Neither can you. Let's call it a tie.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #distraction, #procrastination, #work ethic, #excuses, #productivity

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I have one hour to get some work done before my meeting. But I can't concentrate when i"m hungry, so I need a shack. This snack is making me thirsty. The label on this shirt is bugging me. I need to cut it off. Q quick trip to the restroom and then I can get down to work. Ugh. I have fifteen messages since I left my desk. Now it's too close to my meeting to start a new task. Dogbert: How's work? Dilbert: How would I know?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #apple, #criticism, #employees, #employment, #managers & supervisors, #steve jobs, #work

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I've decided to be more like Steve Jobs. I want all of you to work day and night or else I will humiliate you in front of your peers. Dilbert: I quit. Alice: I quit. Boss: Would it work better if I wore a black shirt?