Sit At Computer Comic Strips - Page 16
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Character
1000 Results for Sit At Computer
View 151 - 160 results for sit at computer comic strips. Discover the best "Sit At Computer" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday January 01,
2004
Tags office relocation, procedures, wrong cubicle, easily stealable, move computer, rules and regulations, company rules
Transcript
Office relocation. Esok: you are not allowed to move you own computer. It must be left in an easily sealable condition for three days until the movers take it to the wrong cubicle. Then untrained I.T Professionals will shove an ethernet cable and stapler and call it good. Dilbert: get out of my way
Wednesday January 07,
2004
Tags stolen computer, boss takes, employee, work, unjust
Transcript
The Boss: It's time to go power shopping. The boss: Nice computer. did you just get it. GAAA!!! The Boss: shopping always puts me in a good mood.
Friday February 06,
2004
Tags compnay, synonymous with crime, incompetence, new logo, computer graohics, crime
Transcript
"Dogbert Consults." Dogbert: "Your company has become synonymous with incompetence and crime." "Stop trying to be all things to all people. Focus on either the incompetence OR the crime." "For your new logo, I used computer graphics to create a composite face that looks totally incompetent." "Wow."
Wednesday June 09,
2004
Tags pantless prima donna, alert patent offcie, hardware, computer, technology
Transcript
"Pantless prima donna" "May I ask you a question?" "Silence, fool!" "Alert the patent office that I am about to begin. They might want to increase staff." "Maybe you should turn on your computer." "I don't do hardware."
Saturday July 17,
2004
Tags stock plunged, acquire compnay, few shares, sit in cubicle
Transcript
Dogbert: Your stock just plunged on the news that you're going to acquire another company. Have you noticed that your stock goes down whenever you do anything? I'll buy a few shares if you'll agree to sit motionlessly in your cubicle.
Wednesday August 01,
2012
Tags computers & peripherals, intelligence agencies, national security, unnamed government agency, shadowy guy, create computer virus, elbonian missile factories
Transcript
Loud Howard: This shadowy guy is from an unnamed government agency!!! He wants us to create a computer virus to attach Elbonian missile factories!!! Dilbert: Is he from our government, Loud Howard? Loud Howard: Is that important?
Sunday October 31,
1999
Tags seven silo teams, merge them, coherent plan, mutually exclusive, deciding startegy, losers, silo teams
Transcript
The boss is following Dilbert to a desk. The boss says, "Here are the strategies from our seven silo teams." They sit down and the boss says, "Your job is to merge them into a coherent company plan." Dilbert says, "These are all mutually exclusive." Dilbert continues... "I'd have to totally change them to make them coherent." Dilbert goes on... "In effect, I would be deciding the strategy for the entire company." The boss says, "That's okay." Dilbert replies, "It is?" The boss walks off thinking, "No one ever reads it anyway." Dilbert, at his computer thinks, "I feel sorry for those losers on the silo teams."
Saturday January 15,
2005
Tags slow computer, uogarde, cost benefit analysis, vice president approval
Transcript
Dilbert: "My computer is too slow. I need to upgrade it." The Boss: "I need a cost benefit analysis including the cost of all alternatives, and vice president approval." Dilbert: "It was easier to get a second job and pay for the upgrade myself."
Saturday April 09,
2005
Tags no budget, no staff, wits and computer, wits, pencil
Transcript
Dilbert: "I might have no budget and no staff to help me on my project, but that doesn't matter." "Because all I need are my wits and my computer." The Boss: "My computer is too slow. I'm taking yours." Dilbert: "My wits and... this pencil." The boss: "Hey, isn't that my pencil?"
Friday April 22,
2005
Tags computer freeze, possible fixes, possible combination, no guaretntee, lazy
Transcript
Hello. My crashinbox computer keeps freezing up. "There are 25 possible fixes but they must be tried in every combination." "That's 625 things I'd have to try with no guarantee that any of it will work." "So you're saying you're lazy."


