Six Sigma Methods Comic Strips - Page 16

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

161 Results for Six Sigma Methods

View 151 - 160 results for six sigma methods comic strips. Discover the best "Six Sigma Methods" comics from Dilbert.com.

Alice Gets Mandatory Training

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Alice Gets Mandatory Training - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #complaining, #office workers, #punishment, #threat

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: I can't work with old Ned. He's a sexist, racist, bigoted troglodyte. Catbert: Name-calling is not allowed in this company. I sentence you to three weeks of mandatory training. Alice: I could trangle you with your own tail. Catbert: Six weeks!

Did Not Know About The Server

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Did Not Know About The Server - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employees, #excuses, #irritation, #managers & supervisors, #office workers

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: It's been six months now and you still haven't fixed our server issue. Dilbert: I didn't know we had a server issue. Boss: That's no excuse. Dilbert: Actually, it's kind of a good excuse. Boss: Now you're making excuses for your excuses!

Best Product

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Best Product - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #criticism, #jokes, #meetings, #office, #office workers, #sarcasm, #presentation

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted: As you can see from this chart, our product has been rated number one for six years in a row. Dilbert: Why does your chart stop four years ago? Ted: I'll bet you don't get invited to a lot of parties. Dilbert: That's just a lucky guess.

Dating A Unicorn

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dating A Unicorn - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #dating, #office, #office workers, #unicorn

View Transcript

Transcript

ted: i hear you're dating a unicorn. dilbert: that is absurd and untrue. ted: then how do you explain the fact that five people told me it was true? ted: i mean, you'd have to believe all five of them are idiots. dilbert: including you, it's six.

Smart To Wait

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Smart To Wait - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #technology, #proposal

View Transcript

Transcript

i approved your technology proposal. dilbert: i made that proposal six months ago. now everything has changed and it no longer makes sense. the boss: well, i guess i was smart to wait. dilbert: the less you do, the better.

Personal Health Data

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Personal Health Data - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #laptop, #private, #data, #cloud, #asthma, #personal, #health, #edit, #disease

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert at laptop: according to your private data in the cloud, you have a mild case of asthma. dilbert: you can see my personal health data? dogbert: see it? hahaha! i can do more than that! dilbert: what is more than that? dogbert: i can edit it. you have six new diseases now.

Ted Talks Make You Smarter

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ted Talks Make You Smarter - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #moron, #new hire, #smart, #ted talk, #binge-watch

View Transcript

Transcript

new hire: i used to be a moron, but then i binge-watched seventeen ted talks on youtube. now i'm the smartest person in the room. wally: should we do something about this? dilbert: i don't know. i've only watched six ted talks.

Human Walking This Way

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Human Walking This Way - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #coronavirus, #exercise, #fish, #health, #human, #social distancing, #walking, #water

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert walking outside thinking: uh-oh. a human being is walking in my direction. dilbert jumping over wall into river: aaaagh!!! fish in water by dilbert: i need to ask you to back up six feet.

Two Bad Options

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Two Bad Options - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #big business, #business, #business ethics, #business failures/bankruptcies, #hide, #managers & supervisors, #options, #analysis, #corporate

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I analyzed our only two options. One option costs too much, and the other option is impossible. Boss: Let's do the impossible one. Dilbert: Perhaps you can explain your reasoning. Boss: According to you, we will fail either way. But if we fail in a slow and inexpensive way, no one will even notice for months. With any luck, we'll have a corporate reorganization that forever hides our gross incompetence. Dilbert: Have you done this before? Boss: Every six months.

Keyboard Upgrades

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Keyboard Upgrades  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #sarcasm, #technology, #keyboard, #design, #keys, #better, #hard, #software, #upgrades

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: i have an idea for a keyboard design that we upgrade every six months by rearranging where the keys are. boss: why would we do that? dilbert: to make it better. boss: that would only make it harder to use. dilbert: exactly like our software upgrades. what's your point?