Slap Yourself Comic Strips - Page 16
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Character
223 Results for Slap Yourself
View 151 - 160 results for slap yourself comic strips. Discover the best "Slap Yourself" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday February 25,
2008
Tags #dinosuar, #law suit, #no interuptions, #prior employee, #slapped, #slapped with a suit, #take off, #business suit
Transcript
Bob: Im Bob the esquire dinosaur. your exemployee, wally, hired me to step you with a suit for hiring him. Take off your suit is I can slap you with it. Carol: Not now, He's being slapped with a suit and I don't want top ruin the rhythm.
Saturday July 05,
2008
Tags #antimatter version, #killed, #cup of coffee
Transcript
Alice says, "You know that antimatter version of yourself that you brought to work?" Alice says, "I killed him with a cup of coffee. I think he enjoyed it. Because he's, like, opposite." Alice says, "But enough about me. How's your day going?"
Wednesday September 17,
2008
Tags #no right to opinion, #conversation, #convey useful info, #bonding
Transcript
Tina says, "And then she acted as if I have no right to my opinion!" Dilbert says, "Is the point of this conversation to convey useful information, or just to make yourself feel better at my expense?" Tina says, "Maybe we're bonding." Dilbert says, "Maybe not."
Friday January 08,
2010
Tags #informing, #admitting, #laziness, #bragging, #shocked
Transcript
Wally says, "We've never worked together so let me tell you how this will go down." Wally says, "You'll expect me to contribute, and you will be disappointed at every turn. In the long run you will do everything yourself." Woman says, "How do you stay employed?" Wally says, "DOn't make me call myself a genius."
Monday March 22,
2010
Tags #cell phone, #invention, #old man's head, #face front, #shoulder, #talk, #creepy, #lightbulb, #edison, #technology
Transcript
Dilbert says, "It's a cell phone shaped like an old man's head." Dilbert says, "It sits on your shoulder so you don't look as if you're talking to yourself." Dilbert says, "People probably told Edison that his lightbulb was creepy too."
Friday May 07,
2010
Tags #evil director of human resources, #payroll expenses low, #bad reviews, #employees, #defects, #list, #faults, #alphabetical, #business
Transcript
Catbert says, "We can keep our payroll expenses low by giving employees bad reviews." Catbert says, "Use this list of employee defects so you don't repeat yourself. It's less obvious this way." The Boss says, "Awkward, bumbling, cowardly, dumb?" Dilbert says, "My faults are suspiciously alphabetical."
Monday August 09,
2010
Tags #special project, #secret, #confidential, #dig grave, #shovel, #death, #medical
Transcript
The Boss says, "I need you to work on a highly confidential project." The Boss says, "When you're done, I want you to dig your own shallow grave and beat yourself to death with the shovel." Dilbert says, "Why does it feel as if my entire career has been preparation for this project?" The Boss says, "You're welcome."
Wednesday December 22,
2010
Tags #said same thing, #27 times, #using different words, #stop talking, #rude, #repeat yourself
Transcript
Alice says, "Excuse me. By my count, you've said the same thing 27 times, using different words." Alice says, "If I can get sworn statements from everyone here that we understand your point, will you stop talking?" Man says, "That's mighty rude of you." Alice says, "I dont' get your point. Can you repeat it 26 more times?"
Friday January 09,
2009
Tags #order, #demand, #email, #internet, #annoyance, #technology
Transcript
The Boss says, "Carol, send an e-mail to the department with my leadership thought of the day." Carol says, "What is it?" The Boss says, "I'm busy. Make up something." 'That which doesn't kill you makes you stronger. So please slap me in my fat, bald head.'
Saturday May 23,
2009
Tags #new employee, #threat, #disagreement, #scared
Transcript
Dogbert the CEO versus the MBA Man says, "My analysis doesn't support your strategy." Dogbert says, "My analysis says I can hire there high school dropouts to slap you until it does." Man says, "No?please, not dropouts!" Dogbert says, "They will kick your assumptions."