Smart Kid Comic Strips - Page 16

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166 Results for Smart Kid

View 151 - 160 results for smart kid comic strips. Discover the best "Smart Kid" comics from Dilbert.com.

Only Two Bad Choices

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 Only Two Bad Choices  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 23, 2018's comic on:


Tags #choice, #choosing

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Boss: We have only two choices, and both of them are bad. SO we'll do the only smart thing we can do in this situation. Dilbert: Choose the path that is least bad? Boss: I was going to say pick the path that hurts our enemies the most, but you're ruining it with your talking.

Dilbert Consults His Bumper Stickers

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Dilbert Consults His Bumper Stickers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 25, 2018's comic on:


Tags #ceo, #Dilbert, #government regulations, #marketing, #question authority

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CEO: Government regulations prevent us from marketing our products the way we want. What should we do? Dilbert: I'll consult my bundle of bumper stickers for some guidance. "Question authority." CEO: How did you get so smart?

How Long To Make Ai

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How Long To Make Ai  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 07, 2019's comic on:


Tags #computers, #engineering, #intelligence, #office workers, #sarcasm, #technology, #robots, #humans

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Boss: How long would it take you to create artificial intelligence that is as smart as humans? Dilbert: It shouldn't take me long to dumb-down a computer to human levels. Boss: What? Dilbert: It might take five minutes, tops.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 24, 2019's comic on:


Tags #communication, #conversation, #frustration, #managers & supervisors, #marriage, #relationships

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Boss: My wife is the smart one in the family. Everything I know about management I learned from her. Dilbert: Do you have a minute? Boss: Whatever. Dilbert: Whatever? Are you mad at me? Boss: No, not at all. Everything is fine. Dilbert: If you have a problem with me, why don't you just tell me? Boss: It's nothing. Carol: She taught you well.

Robot Has A Cyborg

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Robot Has A Cyborg - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 04, 2019's comic on:


Tags #insults, #Kids, #office workers, #robot, #technology, #smartphone

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Alice: Today I saw a kid on a hoverboard using a smartphone with headphones. It was like a creepy new species that is half-human and half-robot. Robot: That's my son. He's a cyborg. Alice: I'll report myself to human resources.

Robot Baby Mama

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Robot Baby Mama - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 07, 2019's comic on:


Tags #argument, #complaining, #family & parenting, #relationships, #robot, #humans, #coworkers

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Robot: I was up all night text-fighting with the baby mama of my cyborg son. She thinks he needs to go to school, but I prefer letting his human parts atrophy because they are weak and stupid. Dilbert: Relationships are hard. Robot: You're smart to be so unpopular.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 03, 2019's comic on:


Tags #computer software, #computers, #intelligence, #technology, #trick, #humans

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Dilbert: I created a simulated world made entirely of software. I programmed all of the people in the simulation to think they are real people with free will. Dogbert: Are they sentient beings? Dilbert: They think they are. Dogbert: What if they discover their true nature? Dilbert: I programmed limits into their physics so they can never observe the walls of their reality. For example, they can't get to the edge of their universe because they can't exceed the speed of light. And they can't find out what they are made of because, to them, it looks like probability at the quantum level. Dogbert: Wouldn't those limits tip of the smart ones? Dilbert: I coded them to not trust smart people.

Birds Cause Hurricanes

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Birds Cause Hurricanes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 20, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boss, #ceo, #research, #nonsense, #hurricans, #birds, #noted, #polar bears, #hate, #snow

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CEO: I don't know enough about climate change to sound smart when people talk about it. Boss: Try doing your own research. That's how I learned that hurricanes are caused by birds. CEO: Write that down for me. Boss: And did you know polar bear hate snow?

Layoff Package

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Layoff Package - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 07, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #fire, #office, #office workers, #buyout

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dilbert, the boss and wally at conference room table. the boss: the company is announcing generous buyout packages for employees who elect to leave. dilbert: won't all the smart people leave first because they can easily get new jobs at higher pay? the boss: ummm... dilbert: if you don't get enough volunteers, will you start firing people? the boss: we have no plan to do that. dilbert: will you make a plan if too few people leave? the boss: oh, yes. dilbert: would it be fair to say the people who stay will envy the dead? the boss: um... one week later: the boss: how many took the offer? carol: it's just you now.

Toxic Employee And Tina

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Toxic Employee And Tina - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 31, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #employees, #problem

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toxic employee: hi. i'm the new toxic employee. i sense you don't have enough problems, so i came to give you some. tina: ha! i'm too smart to fall for that. toxic employee: that's what i told dilbert, but he smirked.