Stupid Misperceptions Comic Strips - Page 16
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254 Results for Stupid Misperceptions
View 151 - 160 results for stupid misperceptions comic strips. Discover the best "Stupid Misperceptions" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday December 22,
1996
Tags 10 year anniversary, service anniversary catalog, ceremony, speech, pick out gift, catalogue, golf ball, t shirt
Transcript
Carol tells Wally, "Today is your ten-year anniversary, Wally." Carol says, "Pick a gift from the service anniversary catalog." Wally asks, "Is there a ceremony?" Carol replies, "Yeah. We just had it." Wally asks, "May I say a few words?" Carol replies, "Anywhere but here." Wally looks through the catalog and tells Dilbert, "The selection of gifts at the ten-year level is somewhat meager." Dilbert says, "The golf ball is nice." Wally says, "I'm leaning toward the 'I'm with stupid' shirt." Dilbert says, "All I see is a blank shirt." Wally says, "It comes with a fabric pen." Dilbert says, "I can almost feel the love our company has for us." Wally asks, "What do you mean 'us'?"
Wednesday February 17,
1999
Tags power supply, nail in wood, vacation tomorrwo, need changes
Transcript
Dilbert works on a computer with a screwdriver. A stupid looking man offers Dilbert a piece of wood with a nail in it. The dumb man says, "I didn't know how to design a power supply, so I put a nail in a piece of wood." The man says, "I'm on vacation tomorrow, so I'll give you my files in case you need to make changes." Dilbert holds the wood and looks mad. The stupid man says, "Once I had he idea, it all came together pretty quickly."
Saturday May 15,
1999
Tags completes portion, project, well engineered, squadron, idiots, ruin, marketing, napping, use ears, coasters, business
Transcript
Dilbert types at his computer and thinks, "This completes my portion of the project." Dilbert thinks, "This project is so well-engineered it would take a squadron of idiots to ruin it." Caption: "Meanwhile in Marketing" A stupid looking man dressed very sloppily says, "And when I'm napping, it is NOT okay to use my ears as coasters."
Thursday May 27,
1999
Tags new office rebel, nice bathrobe, easily manipulated, dare you, use barnding, the fire
Transcript
The male office rebel with the spiked hair extends shakes Dilbert's hand and says, "You must be the new office rebel we heard about. Nice bathrobe." The other pierced male rebel says, "We're called rebels because we're easily manipulated into doing stupid things." Spiked hair rebel raises the roof and says, "Give it up fpr us! Whoo whoo!" Dilbert says, "I dare you to use branding irons on each other right now." Spiked haired says, "Start the fire!"
Thursday June 08,
2000
Tags boss, edfred, freak, new hire, new plan, trust, two faced employee, two headed
Transcript
EDFRED: Hi, Im Edfred the two faced employee. If you tell your boss his new plan is stupid I'll back you up. Dilbert: Really? I don't like the looks of this.
Thursday September 14,
2000
Tags email, addiction, monkey on back, resist, key board with foot
Transcript
Asok: I have an email monkey on my back, but I can quit whenever I want. I don't need to check it every minute. I can resist. But Look! The stupid monkey hot my keyboard with his foot!
Sunday October 04,
1998
Tags bell, improve moral, achieve goal, ring bell, yell accomplishment, bell works, alice, resisted killing boss
Transcript
The Boss points to a bell on the wall and says, "This bell will improve your morale." The Boss continues, "You ring the bell whenever you achieve a goal." The Boss turns and shouts, "Then yell your accomplishment to the rest of the office." The Boss turns to face the office and says, "I know it sounds corny, but the bell has worked in other offices." Dilbert asks, "Does your information come from the bosses of those companies?" The Boss responds, "No. It comes from a magazine that interviewed those bosses." Alice grabs the bell and says, "I'll go first." The bell sounds, "CLANG! CLANG!" Alice calls out to the office, "I resisted killing my boss with a stupid bell."
Thursday April 19,
2001
Tags soul mates, one per person, everyone gets one, monkey, animals
Transcript
Tina: I believe there is one true soul mate for every person. Dilbert: He must be very busy. Tina: I meant one per person. your way would be stupid. Dilbert: Can your should mate be a monkey?
Tuesday January 15,
2002
Tags fired from restuarant, carried hot soup, spray doning room, soup, blame soup
Transcript
Dilbert comes home and says to Dogbert, "I got fired from my job at the restaurant." Dilbert continues, "Every time I carried hot soup my thumb would slip in and I'd scream and spray the whole dining room." Dilbert continues, "I blame the soup." Dogbert replies, "Stupid soup."
Friday March 15,
2002
Tags skills inventory, transfer jobs, check boxes, hazmat section
Transcript
Wally asks Asok, "Have you completed your skills inventory?" Asok responds, "I'm submitting it now." Wally says, "They use that information to transfer you to jobs you don't want." Wally continues, "You'll be okay as long as you didn't check any of the boxes in the hazmat section." Asok clenches his fists and says, "Stupid stupid stupid."