Success Comic Strips - Page 16
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170 Results for Success
View 151 - 160 results for success comic strips. Discover the best "Success" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday December 14,
2017
Boss Loses Wife And Money
Tags role model, aspiration, gambler, gambling, money, Win, Lose, success, quitter
Transcript
Boss: It's not easy being a professional gambler. I lost a million dollars and my wife in one week. But I don't want to be a quitter because I know you see me as a role model. Carol: My role model is your wife. Boss: You like quitters?
Tuesday January 23,
2018
User Specifications Are Not Complete
Tags user specifications, apps, build app, no hope, fantasize
Transcript
Dilbert: are these user specifications complete? Ted: No, I plan to add requirements as you build the app until you have no hope of success and you fantasize about strangling me. Dilbert: Do you know what isn't as refreshing as you'd hope? Dogbert: Honesty?
Sunday March 25,
2018
Tags team, teamwork, collaboration, excuses, group project, business
Transcript
Dilbert: Thank you all for coming. I'm hoping we can make a lot of progress in the next hour. Alice; I didn't get any sleep last night, so don't expect much from me. Asok: I'm so hungry I can barely think. Man 1: I might be a bit distracted today because my wife told me she wants to leave me. Wally: I can't stay for the whole meeting. I have another thing in a few minutes Man 2: I'm only here to sabotage your project because I can't abide the success of others. Dilbert; Why don't all of you leave now and I'll make all the decisions myself. Boss: How'd the team meeting go? Dilbert: Better than I expected.
Monday March 12,
2018
Meeting Rooms Are Booked
Tags meetings, managers, scheduling, conflict
Transcript
Dilbert: My project stalled because all of our meeting rooms have been reserved by managers just in case they need them. My current plan for success is to wait until one of you dies sow e can use your meeting room. Boss: Let's not do project status reports anymore.
Monday August 27,
2018
Wally Mentors To Death
Tags asok, Wally, successful, definition, minimum, alive, employed, comas, ruling
Transcript
Asok: Have you ever mentored anyone who went on to be successful? Wally: Depends on your definition of success. Asok: Well, at minimum, they'd need to be alive and gainfully employed. Wally: What's your ruling on comas?
Sunday December 02,
2018
Tags business, decision, executives, managers & supervisors, sarcasm, success, manipulation
Transcript
CEO: Profits have increased thirty percent under my leadership. Dilbert: Snort. CEO: What? Dilbert: All you do is pick the best plans from the options we show you. CEO: Exactly, and I pick the best plan every time. Dilbert: That's because we only show you the best plans compared to the worst plans we can think of. We control every decision you make by manipulating your perception of the options. CEO: We need to fix that. Dilbert: How do you fix something that isn't broken?
Wednesday January 23,
2019
No Recognisiton
Tags addiction, office workers, social media, video games, expectations
Transcript
Man: Video games and social media have made me addicted to artificial success. But here in the real world, I do not receive the recognition I so crave. Dilbert: That's because all you do is play video games and use social media. Man: See? I'm getting nothing.
Sunday March 17,
2019
Tags failure, inventions, office workers, power, science, success
Transcript
Dilbert: I predict fusion power will be a big deal in fifteen years. Man: Fusion reactors are impossible to build and always will be. Dilbert: Then why are a dozen startups working on it? Man: Everyone who ever tried to create a fusion reactor has failed so far. Dilbert: Thomas Edison failed many times at making a useful incandescent light bulb before he succeeded. Would you have advised him to give up after the first ten failed attempts? I eagerly await your irrational response. Man: Incandescent bulbs are bad for the environment. Dilbert: And there it is.
Monday April 15,
2019
Potluck Celebration
Tags business, office, office workers, potluck, friday, team, celebration
Transcript
the boss in meeting: i scheduled a potluck to celebrate the team's success. dilbert: a potluck is more like a penalty than a celebration. dilbert: but i guess it's better than working. the boss: it starts at 8 pm on friday.
Monday November 11,
2019
The Best Way To Succeed
Tags business, managers & supervisors, office workers, success, delegate
Transcript
boss: the best way to succeed in this world is through hard work dilbert: is that the way you did it? boss: no, i used the second-best way dilbert: which is... boss: making other people work hard


