Television News Comic Strips - Page 16
Search Filters
Year
- 2023
- 2022
- 2021
- 2020
- 2019
- 2018
- 2017
- 2016
- 2015
- 2014
- 2013
- 2012
- 2011
- 2010
- 2009
- 2008
- 2007
- 2006
- 2005
- 2004
- 2003
- 2002
- 2001
- 2000
- 1999
- 1998
- 1997
- 1996
- 1995
- 1994
- 1993
- 1992
- 1991
- 1990
- 1989
Character
248 Results for Television News
View 151 - 160 results for television news comic strips. Discover the best "Television News" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday April 20,
1994
Tags out bidding, control, dsn, creative investoment, money, consultants, spending, fast
Transcript
"Bad news sir - our arch rivals are out-bidding us for control of DSN." "Apparently they have even less creative investment ideas than we do." "Quick! Give more money to our consultants!" "They're spending as fast as they can, Sir!!"
Thursday October 20,
1994
Tags dress codes don't apply, fireing, hire back, more money, reverence package, telecommute, two weeks vaction
Transcript
"Great news -- You're fired!" "You get a generous severance package, two weeks' vacation, AND we hire you back as a contractor for more money!!" "And I can telecommute if I want, but since dress codes don't apply to me..." "Aargh!" "Bonk, Bonk"
Friday March 24,
1995
Tags elbonians, afford, just mud, couch shopping network, manage resources, sold country, little jars, molten lava, earths core
Transcript
Dilbert sits in his cubicle. He asks Dogbert, "How could the Elbonians afford to buy this company? Their whole country is just mud." Dogbert imagines a television screen showing an Elbonian holding a container with the figure "$119.95" above him. Dogbert answers, "They packaged the mud and sold it as a cosmetic on the 'Couch Shopping Network.' They made trillions." Hugging his knees to his chest, Dilbert comments, "At least they know how to manage resources." Dogbert replies, "They sold their entire country in little jars. Most Elbonians perished in molten lava at the Earth's core."
Tuesday April 04,
1995
Tags dogbert the consultant, relocate russia, hire engineers, weed out dumb, like heaven
Transcript
Pointing to a map, Dogbert tells the Boss, "Your best bet is to relocate the company to Russia." Dogbert continues, "You can hire engineers for two cents a year!" The Boss asks, "Is it difficult to weed out the dumb ones?" Dogbert says, "No. And that leads me into the good news about their occupational safety laws." The Boss says, "It's like heaven!"
Saturday April 15,
1995
Tags stick to script, act sincere, forgive you, worng, sell key boards, morons, dumber than squirrels, good writing
Transcript
The Boss stands in front of a camera and Dogbert sits in a director's chair. Dogbert hands the Boss a script and says, "Stick to the script. Act sincere and beg your customers to forgive you." The Boss looks into the camera and reads, "It was wrong for us to sell keyboards with no 'Q.' We're sorry. We're morons." Dilbert and Dogbert sit on the couch watching the Boss's television commercial. In the advertisement, the Boss says, "We're dumber than squirrels. We hear voices and do what they command. I have broccoli in my socks." Dilbert says, "Good writing." Dogbert responds, "Thanks."
Wednesday June 14,
1995
Tags reengineered job, more fulfilled, value chain, stages of prodcution, fired secretaries, credenza
Transcript
Dilbert is in the Boss's office. The Boss says, "Great news! I've reengineered your job to make you more fulfilled!" The Boss continues, "You'll no longer be limited to one little part of the value chain. You'll be involved in all stages of production!" Dilbert covers his eyes and says, "Oh Lord, you fired all the secretaries!!" The Boss orders, "Dust my credenza."
Tuesday September 12,
1995
Tags janitor expenses, empty trash, new employee fitness, trashercise
Transcript
The Boss sits in front of Catbert's desk. The Boss asks, "I have to cut janitor expenses. Do you think I'll have any HR issues if I make employees empty their own trash?" Catbert answers, "We'll soften the bad news by simultaneously introducing a new employee fitness program . . ." Dilbert and Alice stand outside a row of cubicles. The janitor shouts, "Okay, everybody, it's time to trashercise!!!"
Saturday December 02,
1995
Tags boss give orders, get in trouble, dogbert detective, embarass, happiest moment, my career
Transcript
Dilbert sits on his couch watching television. A voice on the tv says, "Does your boss give you orders and later deny it? Do you get in trouble for doing what you're told?" On the tv, Dogbert sits at a desk while Ratbert holds a video camera. Dogbert says, "The 'Dogbert Detective Agency' will videotape it all and embarrass your boss with proof!" Back in the office, the Boss reads a document and says, "What??! Why did you do this??!" Dilbert stands in front his desk holding a videotape and says, "This is the happiest moment of my career." Dogbert says, "Lights!"
Sunday July 01,
1990
Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, invitation, bother, courtesy, hosts, blitter
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert stand in the hallway of a couple's house. The man says, "We're so glad you guys could stop by." Dilbert replies, "Thanks for inviting us." Dogbert thinks, "We hardly know them." The woman says, "I'd offer you some coffee, but that would be a bother." Dilbert says, "Uh . . . None for me. Thanks." The woman says, "I noticed you didn't bring any food as a courtesy to your hosts. I guess we'll eat when you leave." The man says, "We usually watch television now, but I'll try not to appear bitter about your visit." The man and woman sit in chairs while Dilbert and Dogbert sit on the floor. The man asks, "Why haven't we done this sooner?" Dogbert replies, "We thought you were scum."
Sunday August 05,
1990
Tags Dilbert, paper, arm chair, Dogbert, news, spoilers, newspaper
Transcript
Dogbert enters the living room carrying the newspaper. He thinks, "Oh good, Dogbert isn't around. I can read the Sunday paper without having to share." Dilbert sits in his chair and thinks, "Ahhh . . . Mine are the first hands to unfold its crisp little pages. I alone determine the order of reading." Dilbert thinks, "Nobody will blurt out the punchlines before I read them." Dogbert flies through the air onto Dilbert's lap. Dogbert knocks the chair over and the paper scatters on the floor. Dogbert asks, "Were you finished with this section?"

