Thought Diveristy Comic Strips - Page 16

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

268 Results for Thought Diveristy

View 151 - 160 results for thought diveristy comic strips. Discover the best "Thought Diveristy" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #low pay, #lowest paid, #blame, #no one left, #aliens, #illegal

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: "I just saw a list of everyone's salary." "I thought the glass ceiling was holding me down, but you have the highest pay here." "There's no one left to blame for my low pay except... Ooh, wait... How about illegal aliens?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #secretaries (office), #increase work productivity, #yammering, #salted earth, #great plan

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I just thought of a great idea for increasing workplace productivity. Carol: Does it involve standing near my workplace and yammering while I try to work? Boss: Geez. Who salted the Earth? Carol: Your plan is going great so far.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business failures/bankruptcies, #stock market, #innovative pordcuts, #in pipeline, #r&d budget, #firings, #sexy startup, #work smarter, #ironic, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our stock is down 49% and we have no innovative products in the pipeline. CEO: Slash the R&D budget, fire 9,000 employees, and buy a sexy start-up company that we can run into the ground. Boss: We did all of that last year. CEO: Did I already tell the employees to work smarter? Boss: Yes. They thought you were being ironic.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #great 3 hour meeting, #strategic core issues, #gibberish

View Transcript

Transcript

It's been a great three-hour meeting but I have one question. Can a business - led project management process optimize our static core issues? Was that gibberish? I thought thats what we are doing.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #advice for cousin, #carerradvice, #dilmon, #frustrated work environement, #scratch out meager living

View Transcript

Transcript

Your cousin Lauren just got her degree in English. Can you give her some career advice? "Would you enjoy scratching out a meager living in a frustrating work environment?" "I've never thought about it." "Obviously."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #liar, #habitual liar, #died, #feel great, #head is skull, #attached to body, #yoga

View Transcript

Transcript

The Habitual Liar Alice: "I thought you died." Liar: "No. I feel great!" Alice: "I'm sure you're dead. Your head is a skull." Liar : "I cut back on carbs." Alice: "Your head isnt' even attatched to your body." Liar"I take yoga."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hired a genius, #faking british accent, #ello bird, #sexy sounds

View Transcript

Transcript

"I thought I hired a genius." "But he turned out to be an ordinary guy faking a British accent." "'Ello, bird. 'Ow 'bout a spot o' tea? Whot do you say, gov'nor?" "Who's making those sexy sounds?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

There's no good way to assign a bad project. FWAP! "Do it!" "That was a liberating thought."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

The Land of Unrealistic Business Assumptions $ GOLD (Take Some) "Suddenly I feel as if anything is possible." "Hello! We're the consumers who have extraordinarily bad judgment!" "I need more than three of you." "The hole's a thousand miles deep. The others thought it would be a good idea to come early." "Ow! Ow!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

You thought up your search engine idea before we fired you. That means my company owns it. "That's why I used the lawyerpult to hurl our attorney onto you." "Now I'm using the holograph device you invented. That thing is making us billions." "GAAA!!!"