Value Chain Comic Strips - Page 16
Search Filters
Year
- 2021
- 2020
- 2019
- 2018
- 2017
- 2016
- 2015
- 2014
- 2013
- 2012
- 2011
- 2010
- 2009
- 2008
- 2007
- 2006
- 2005
- 2004
- 2003
- 2002
- 2001
- 2000
- 1999
- 1998
- 1997
- 1996
- 1995
- 1994
- 1993
- 1992
- 1991
- 1990
- 1989
Character
160 Results for Value Chain
View 151 - 160 results for value chain comic strips. Discover the best "Value Chain" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday October 06,
2016
Tina Isn't An Engineer
Tags #engineer, #evaluation, #value, #catch-22, #fired, #termination, #engineering
Transcript
Boss: The company makes me rank all of my employees. I put you last because you're not an engineer. I have to fire whoever is ranked lowest, and I can't afford to lose any engineers. Tina; What if I work harder, and do a great job? Boss: Then I'd fire you for not being a team player.
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Friday October 07,
2016
Fire The Bottom Ten Percent
Tags #rank, #hierarchy, #value, #fired, #termination, #layoff, #logic, #executives
Transcript
CEO: I want you to fire the employees you ranked in the bottom ten percent. Boss: Wouldn't that just put someone else in the bottom ten percent? CEO: Everything made sense until you started talking. Boss: Sorry.
Monday October 31,
2016
Boss Makes Dilbert Get Buy In
Friday November 04,
2016
Asok Approves
Tags #desperate, #desperation, #intern, #subordinate, #value, #importance
Transcript
Asok: I hear you need everyone's buy-in to proceed with your project. Dilbert: Everyone except you. No one cares what interns think. Asok: May I please approve it so I feel alive? Dilbert: Well... okay. But you owe me one.
Saturday November 05,
2016
Tina Gives Buy In
Tags #negotiation, #money, #price, #cost, #value
Transcript
Dilbert: I need everyone's buy-in on my project. Tina: You can have my buy-in for $25. Dilbert: Ted only charged me $15. Tina: It isn't my fault that Ted is a bad negotiator.
Tuesday October 17,
2017
Explaining Block Chain To Marketing
Tags #jargon, #explanation, #teaching, #language, #education
Transcript
Alice: This would be a perfect application for blockchain. Man: I'm in marketing. Can you explain that in terms I can understand? Alice: I kinda doubt it. Man: Because your a bad explainer, right?
Monday October 16,
2017
Initial Coin Offering
Tags #ico, #cryptocurrency, #bitcoin, #jargon, #language
Transcript
Dilbert: Maybe we should do an initial coin offering, or ICO. Boss: What's that? Dilbert: It's a non-equity process for raising capital that uses a custom crypto-currency and the blockchain. I might be wasting my time here. Boss: So... it's a chain made out of coins?
Sunday September 16,
2018
Tags #Dilbert, #employee, #calendar, #week, #awkward, #problem, #schedule, #relative, #lunch, #sandwich
Transcript
Male Employee: Do you have an hour to meet next week? Dilbert: Let me check my calendar. Next week is not good. Male Employee: You don't have one hour of free time all week? Dilbert: Well, this is awkward. The problem isn't my schedule so much as your total lack of value relative to my alternatives. Male Employee: Maybe we could meet over lunch? Dilbert: I like to focus on my sandwich.
Friday June 14,
2019
Evil Marketing
Tags #business, #business ethics, #chimps, #evil, #marketing, #office, #product
Transcript
dilbert, the boss and dogbert at conference room table. the boss: our competition released a product that makes our product look like it was designed by chimps. the boss: that's why i hired the world's most evil marketing expert to help us close the perception gap. the boss: should we focus on our value proposition? dogbert: if that means accusing them of crimes they didn't commit, then yes.
Saturday July 20,
2019
Job Has No Meaning
Tags #employees, #employment, #job, #salary, #meaningful
Transcript
Dilbert: My job doesn't have meaning. Dogbert: If your employer added meaning to your job, would you agree to a cut in pay? Dilbert: No. Dogbert: I guess we just found the economic value of "meaning".