Wonderful System Comic Strips - Page 16

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

268 Results for Wonderful System

View 151 - 160 results for wonderful system comic strips. Discover the best "Wonderful System" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #jury, #judicial system, #defense, #attorney, #obnoxious, #death, #fetching, #black, #muumuu, #honor

View Transcript

Transcript

The judge asks, "Has the jury reached a verdict?" Dogbert stands and replies, "Yes, your honor. We find the defense attorney poorly dressed and obnoxious. We sentence him to death." The judge says, "I don't think you can do that." Dogbert continues, "Furthermore, we find that your honor looks fetching in a black muumuu."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #celebrates, #victory, #court, #six, #prison cell, #Dogbert, #freedom, #individuality, #prison system, #cubical

View Transcript

Transcript

The caption says, "Dilbert celebrates his victory in court." Dilbert picks Dogbert up and yells, "Yes!!" Dogbert says, "Put me down." Dilbert spreads his arms and yells, "Ha ha! I'm free! No more six-by-six prison cell!" Dilbert sits in his cubicle at work thinking, "Aah . . . It feels so good to have my freedom and individuality back."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #fred, #driving, #school, #quick, #crash course, #educational, #system

View Transcript

Transcript

A man stands behind a counter. The sign behind the clerk says, "Fred's Driving School: learn to drive in just five minutes." Dogbert approaches the counter and asks, "How can you teach driving in just five minutes?" The man replies, "It's a crash course."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bob, #Dogbert, #petition, #democracy, #complaints, #d-uhh

View Transcript

Transcript

Bob the Dinosaur asks Dogbert, "Will you sign my petition?" Dogbert asks, "What's it for, Bob?" Bob replies, "I didn't have any complaints, so it just says 'D-uhh." Dogbert says as he signs the petition, "Democracy is a wonderful thing."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business meeting, #Promotion, #Dogbert, #executive man, #management

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert and several executives sit at a conference table. Dogbert says, "Thank you all for coming to this emergency board meeting." Dogbert continues, "As you know, all promotions to senior management are based on hair. I think we all agree this is the best system." Dogbert lifts the president's toupee with a pointer and continues, "But have you noticed that I have a rich lustrous coat, whereas our current president gets a little outside help?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #dog, #Dogbert, #invention

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert holds a shirt and says to Dogbert, "I need a name for my new tubular luggage invention." Dilbert rolls the shirt and stuffs it into a can. Dilbert continues, "The name should be descriptive of its function, yet also call out to my target market." Dilbert says, "Go ahead . . . Get it out of your system." Dogbert says, "Dorkage."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #no work, #invented code, #accounting systems, #mid 80s, #undocumented spaghetti logic, #holy grail, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "I've never seen you do any real work around here, Irv. How do you get away with it?" IRV: "I wrote the code for our accounting system back in the mid-eighties. It's a million lines of undocumented spaghetti logic." DILBERT: "It's the Holy Grail of technology!!" IRV: "You boys may find a little extra in your envelopes this month."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #clean, #date, #work

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits on a pillow by the fireplace. Dilbert says, "I'll be back late. I have a date with Sharon to grout her bathtub." Dogbert asks, "You call that a date?" Dogbert says, "Last week you cleaned her rain gutters and painted her house . . . The week before, you installed her sprinkler system and rebuilt her car's engine." Dogbert asks, "Don't you think she might be using you?" Dilbert replies, "Well . . . At least I get lunch out of the deal." Dogbert asks, "She actually prepares food for you?" Dilbert carries a bag and a tool box. He replies, "No, bag lunch. I get to eat it during break."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #entire pc industry, #graphic metaphors, #microsoft logo, #pronounce differently, #dogbert 2000

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands on a book on a chair and works at a computer. He tells Dilbert, "I call my new operating system the 'Dogbert 2000.'" Dogbert continues, "Soon I will dominate the entire PC industry! Heh-heh . . ." Dilbert looks at the monitor and says, "It looks like 'Windows 95.'" Dogbert replies, "I use some of the same graphic metaphors, but I pronounce them differently." Dilbert asks, "How do you pronounce the 'Microsoft' logo?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cafeteria, #Catbert, #human resources, #labeling entrees, #life threatening, #red lump, #health care, #evil director, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The caption says, "Catbert, the evil Director of Human Resources." Catbert, Wally, Dilbert and Alice sit at a conference table. Catbert says, "We're moving to 'cafeteria style' benefits." Catbert continues, "Under this system, if you need health care, you wander through the cafeteria asking 'Does anybody know what this red lump is?'" Alice asks, "What if it's a life-threatening problem?" Catbert replies, "That reminds me, the cafeteria won't be labeling the entrees anymore."