Cold Place Comic Strips - Page 17

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176 Results for Cold Place

View 161 - 170 results for cold place comic strips. Discover the best "Cold Place" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 05, 2016's comic on:


Tags #internet, #viral video, #awkward, #interaction, #insult, #cell phone, #technology

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Boss: Did you see the viral video of the kitten riding the zebra? Dilbert: I know where this is heading and I don't like it. You're going to spend the next ten minutes looking for that video on your phone while we wait. Boss: It will only take a second. Dilbert: And so it begins. Boss: Here it is. No, wait. Dang. Wrong one. Okay, here it is. Oops, no, wrong one. Narrator: Ten minutes later. Boss: What do you think? Dilbert: I can't see it because you keep moving. Boss: I would let you hold it, but I don't want your germs on my phone. Dilbert: There are a lot of unsatisfying parts to this interaction. Wally: Now my coffee is cold.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 24, 2016's comic on:


Tags #capitalism, #big business, #competition, #benefit

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CEO: The company's goal is to make the world a better place. Dilbert: How does that square with our stated goal of destroying our competition? If we succeed, those people will be out of jobs. After we annihilate our competition, we can jack up our prices to monopoly levels and take advantage of our customers. Most of our profits go toward making the rich richer. We don't even pay taxes. Meanwhile, my co-workers and I will be living a life that has been stripped of all meaning. Is that what you had in mind by "Making the world a better place?" CEO: I didn't mean better for everyone.

Wally Pays It Not Forward

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Wally Pays It Not Forward - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 18, 2016's comic on:


Tags #philosophy, #life lesson, #gratitude

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Asok: Do you have a philosophy for life? Wally: I try to make the world a better place. Have you heard the phrase, "Pay it forward?" Asok: Yes. Wally: I'm the end of the line for that sequence of events. It saves the rest of you a lot of work.

Wally Self Identifies As A Woman

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Wally Self Identifies As A Woman - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 23, 2016's comic on:


Tags #trans, #transgender, #gimmick

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Catbert: I heard that you self-identify as a woman. Wally: No, I don't. Catbert: Well, I need you to do that so the company can be supportive and win some awards for being a great place to work. Dilbert: Because why? Wally: I got my own bathroom.

Cubicle Near Thermostat

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Cubicle Near Thermostat - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 20, 2016's comic on:


Tags #temperature, #office, #cold, #revenge, #thermostat

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Wally: My new cubicle is the nearest one to the office thermostat. That makes me the de facto ruler of the indoor climate. Dilbert: Don't let the power corrupt you. Wally: I'll start by freezing all the skinny women who laughed at me!

Tina Wants Warmer Temperature

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Tina Wants Warmer Temperature - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 21, 2016's comic on:


Tags #thermostat, #temperature, #deal, #negotiation, #cold, #bribe

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Wally: My cubicle is near the thermostat and your desk has the est view of our boss' office. I'll see that you get the temperature you want if you warn me whenever our boss is on the move. Tina: Can you give me 76 degrees? Wally: Whoa! That'll cost you extra, Lucifer.

Naming The Spaceship

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Naming The Spaceship - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 27, 2016's comic on:


Tags #naming, #space, #space flight, #rocket, #engineering, #failure, #death, #medical

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Ted: I'm looking for a name for the spaceship that I designed. Dilbert: How about "Death Tube?" Alice: "Space Debris?" Wally: "Final Resting Place?" Ted: I was hoping for something more positive. Voice: We're positive it will explode.

Wally Accidentally Invents Coffee Warmer

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Wally Accidentally Invents Coffee Warmer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 20, 2017's comic on:


Tags #invention, #engineer, #coffee, #cell phone, #technology, #idea, #engineering

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Wally: Nothing is going right today. My phone charger is too hot, and my coffee is too cold. Dilbert: Did you just invent a phone charger that keeps your coffee warm? Wally: Did I? Dilbert: I'll have a prototype for you tomorrow. Narrator: Continued...

Make It Hard To Uninstall

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Make It Hard To Uninstall - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 21, 2017's comic on:


Tags #customer service, #business strategy, #sales, #deception, #business

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Boss: Don't focus so much on making the software do what our customers want it to do. Just make it hard for users to uninstall it. Dilbert: Why would they buy it in the first place? Boss: A big part of our strategy involves lying.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 24, 2017's comic on:


Tags #military, #office workers, #survival, #hero

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Boss: This is our new employee, Mark. Mark was a navy SEAL. He fought in three separate conflicts. He once fought off a hundred insurgents and saved a town. Show Mark how we roll at this company. Dilbert: Today I'll be reformatting my PowerPoint deck because someone said the design is not organic. Mark: What's that mean? Dilbert: It doesn't matter. I'll just push some things around and hope the guy who complained doesn't attend the next meeting. Mark: How do you survive this place? Dilbert: I don't like to use the word "hero."