Business People Comic Strips - Page 17
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1000 Results for Business People
View 161 - 170 results for business people comic strips. Discover the best "Business People" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday October 08,
1994
Tags two people, focus group, loved prodcut, not statistically useful, free food, sandwhiches
Transcript
The Boss: Two people in a focus group loved our product. So we're doubling our production. Dilbert: The opinions of two people are not statically useful. ...especially if you're one of the two people. The boss: I knew those free sandwiches were too good to be true.
Monday October 10,
1994
Tags sales, two years, sudden surge, business case apporved, get promoted, accountability, business
Transcript
Ted: I predict sales to be nothing for two years and then take a sudden surge. Dilbert: Why? Ted: The surge was added so I could get the business case approved. The two -year lag gives me time to get promoted. Dilbert: What about accountability? Dilbert: thats where you come in.
Tuesday October 11,
1994
Tags future trends, guess, more valid, published, share vision, people are dumb
Transcript
Dogbert: I'm writing a book of my guesses about future trends. If it gets published then my guesses will seem more valid than other peoples. I'll charge huge fees to share my 'vision" with audiences. Dilbert: Why would people pay huge fees for guesses? Dogbert: Trend number one is that people aren't getting any smarter.
Wednesday October 26,
1994
Tags planning to focus, products killing people, steal office supplies, studies are flawed, urban areas, advertising
Transcript
"Dogbert: Ethics Advisor" "We know our products are killing people, but we're claiming the studies are flawed." "We're planning to focus our advertising on the youth markets in poor urban areas." "So, given all that, is it okay for me to steal office supplies?" "I'd have to say yes."
Thursday October 27,
1994
Tags dogbert ethics advisor, prodcut, mail people, high fees, procedure, ethics advice, return stupid prodcut
Transcript
"Dogbert: Ethics Advisor" "We mail our product to people and tell them it's free for one year." "Then we start nailing them with high fees because they'll forget the procedure for returning the product. They're trapped." "So, did you have some ethics advice?" "No. I asked you here so I can return your stupid product."
Friday October 28,
1994
Tags new finance guy, hate automatically, justify photocopy, business case, make copies, pinch pennies, natural
Transcript
The Boss: Ray's our new finance guy. He's got a face that makes you hate him automatically. Dilbert: You're right, Im already heating I'm. The Boss: wait until he opens his mouth! Ray: From now on I want a business case to justify all of your photocopying. The Boss: is he a natural or what?!!
Saturday November 05,
1994
Tags right sizing, company, bright sizing, laughter, bananas at lunch, business
Transcript
Dilbert, Wally and a man sit at a table eating lunch. The man says, "Instead of 'right-sizing' our company is 'bright-sizing.' That's when all the bright people leave!" They all laugh. They stop laughing and Dilbert says, "Hey! We all brought bananas."
Thursday November 10,
1994
Tags business process, well designed porcess, compensate, apathy
Transcript
The Boss, Wally, Dilbert and Dogbert sit at a conference table. Dogbert says, "As your consultant, I'll tell you how to improve your business processes." Dogbert continues, "I'll show you how a well-designed process can compensate for your sloth, apathy and all-around incompetence." Dogbert continues, "But most important: let's have fun."
Saturday November 26,
1994
Tags new name for group, engineering science research, designed business cards, long name, complicated
Transcript
The Boss, Dilbert and Wally sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "I came up with a new name for our group." The Boss continues, "From now on we're the 'Engineering Science Research Technology Systems Information Quality and Excellence Center.'" Wally says, "You should throw 'efficiency' in there too." The Boss holds up a long piece of paper and says, "I designed the business cards myself."
Wednesday January 11,
1995
Tags venture capital firm, watching people, moronic ideas, money, crimp the mirth, finance
Transcript
Dilbert lies on his couch and Dogbert sits on the backrest. Dogbert says, "I'm starting my own venture capital firm." Dogbert continues, "I'm attracted to the concept of watching people with moronic ideas beg for money." Dilbert asks, "Will you actually finance anybody?" Dogbert replies, "That would sort of crimp the mirth."


