Dead Musicians Comic Strips - Page 17

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188 Results for Dead Musicians

View 161 - 170 results for dead musicians comic strips. Discover the best "Dead Musicians" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #incompetent vp, #fired, #fvaor, #laugh, #resignation, #announcement, #terse, #incompetence, #ambiguaous, #meaning

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Catbert says to Fred, "Fred, you're an incompetent VP. You're fired." Fred asks, "May I ask for one favor?" Catbert says, "Sure. I could use a laugh." Fred says, "Please don't make my resignation announcement terse." Fred continues, "If it's terse, everyone will know I was fired for incompetence." Catbert smiles an ugly smile and Fred asks, "Does that smile mean you'll do what I ask?" Catbert says, "I'm sorry if that was ambiguous. Let me try again." Catbert smiles an even bigger ugly smile and Fred says, "I'm still not getting your meaning." Dilbert sits at his computer and reads a memo which says, "Re: Fred. Career dead."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cats & kittens, #physics, #famous physicist, #zombie

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Catbert: This is Wulf. He used to work for a famous physicist named Schrodinger. He escaped before the experiment was finished and now he's both alive and dead at the same time. Dilbert: Like a zombie? Catbert: Uh-oh. Wulf: Wow. I have half a mind to be offended by that.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #afterlife, #death & dying, #zombie, #truth about afterlife, #projecting, #curiosity

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Wulf: I was Schrodinger's cat back in the day. That's why I'm alive and dead at the same time. I know the truth about the afterlife because my dead half told my living half all about it. Do you want to know what happens? Wally: Stop projecting your curiosity on me.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cruelty, #honesty, #managers & supervisors, #motivation, #insincere, #bar too high, #low motivation, #business

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Dilbert: My motivation is low today. I understand it's your job to fix that situation. An insincere attaboy or a fake interest in my life would be enough. Boss: Drop dead and let the flies eat you. Dilbert: I set the bar too high again.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #christmas, #christmas presents, #physics, #quantum mechanics, #interpretation, #cat in box, #airholes, #holiday

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Dogbert: Merry Christmas! This gift is based on the Copenhagen interpretation of quantum mechanics. There's a cat in here that's neither dead nor alive. Dilbert: Where are the airholes? Dogbert: I have control issues.

3 D Immersive Goggles

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3 D Immersive Goggles - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #death, #distraction, #mortality, #technology, #virtual reality, #3d goggles, #testing, #good experince, #forget to eat, #medical

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Dilbert: Hey, Ted, how do you like our new 3-D immersive goggles you've been testing for two weeks? Some people say the experience is so good that you forget to eat. You're dead, aren't you...

Ceo Returns From The Afterlife

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Ceo Returns From The Afterlife - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #afterlife, #angel, #ceos, #demon, #evil, #executives, #good, #good vs. evil, #returning from the dead

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CEO: I returned from the afterlife and I'm taking back my job as CEO. Dilbert: So... you're an angel? CEO: I set all of the thermostats to 140 degrees. Let's see how long it takes you to answer your own question.

Boss Has Investment Tips For Asok

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Boss Has Investment Tips For Asok - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Advice, #bad advice, #diversification, #investment, #obliviousness, #stock market, #money

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Asok: Do you have any investment tips? Boss: You're asking the right person! I can teach you how to time the market, catch a falling knife, and invest in a dead-cat bounce. That's my system. Asok: What about diversification? Boss: I don't invest in anything I can't spell.

One Missile

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One Missile - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hiding, #off the grid, #surveillance, #spying, #drone, #emergency, #drone strike, #hacker

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G-Man 1: One of our drones found the fugitive hacker Dilbert in a remote forest. He ate a poisonous berry and will be dead in minutes. Can I light him up for practice? G-Man 2: One missile. They're pricey.

Ted Died Last Week

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Ted Died Last Week - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #listening, #listen, #listener, #silence, #death, #dead, #attention, #medical

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Dilbert: Ted died in his cubicle. Alice: When? Dilbert: About a week ago. They just found him. Alice: Remember when I said Ted is an unusually good listener? I have new data.