Not A Team Player Comic Strips - Page 17

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230 Results for Not A Team Player

View 161 - 170 results for not a team player comic strips. Discover the best "Not A Team Player" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deepest budget cuts, #death spiral, #data driven focus

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"The leadership team can't decide where to make the deepest budget cuts." "But don't worry. I offered to bring a systematic, data-driven focus to the process." "A death spiral goes clockwise north of the equator." "Budget cuts" "Research" "Design" "Sales" "Mancom"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #no written objectives, #free to help, #personal philosophy

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wally: I'm cruising into my fifth month with no written objectives. some philosophers would say that having no objectives means Im free to help any team that asks. Wally: My personal philosophy is more along the lines of hiding.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #team assignments, #mprotant things, #ruined meeting, #clueless nimrods, #business

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The Boss: "Alice, I've been told that you ignore your team's assignments and work on things that aren't your job." Alice: "That's true. I do important things instead of useless things assigned by clueless nimrods." The Boss: "You totally ruined this meeting."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new director, #first impressions, #office in lobby, #nearest growler, #directions, #information booth, #directs

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The Boss: Carol, I'm making you our new director of first impressions pro team! Carol: My years of hard work have finally paid off! Im a dierctor! Carol: Why is my office in the lobby? Can you direct me ti the nearest growler?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new guy, #strong culture, #doing teask, #unimaginable, #getting suckers, #to do our work

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The New Guy" "We have a strong culture of team--work here." "While you're doing those easy tasks, I'll be off doing assignments of unimaginable diffuculty." Dilbert: "Did anyone warn you that we have a strong culture of getting suckers to do our work?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #wake up call, #^am, #bellmen, #head of bed, #blind maids, #pants, #manager, #five star hotel

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Five-Star Hotel The Boss: "I'd like a wake-up call at 6 a.m. and a second one at 6:15." "Then I'd like a team of bellmen to lift the head of the bed while blind maids hold my pants so I can slide into them." "Why yes, as a matter of fact, I AM a manager."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #good news, #bad news, #coporate marathon, #26 miles, #run marathon, #tomorrow

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I have some good news and some bad news. "The good news is that the company is going to sponsor a corporate marathon team." "The bad news is that one of you has to run 26 miles tomorrow."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #flashy, #hot flashes, #suddenly hot, #burning, #cold, #cubicle near thermostat

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"Everyone meet our new team member, Flashy." "GAAA!!! Suddenly so hot!!! Burning!!!" "Flashy will be in the cubicle by the thermostat." "C-c-c-cold!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #outsourcing, #language, #time zone, #time, #fatigue, #confusion

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"After seeing the Elbonian mp3 player prototype I scheduled a conference call." "Because of the time difference, the call was at 3 AM. I was groggy and they barely speak any English, but I think we got everything worked out." "He was right. It does look better with the speakers."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #outsourcing, #design, #communication, #miscommunication, #manufacturing, #obliviousness, #marketing, #business

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We ship our new mp3 player in two days. How's the Elbonian factory coming along? "The prototype is the size of a small tractor and it will only play Elbonian polkas." "I'll budget a little extra for marketing." "It's made of asbestos."