Plan Comic Strips - Page 17
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Character
518 Results for Plan
View 161 - 170 results for plan comic strips. Discover the best "Plan" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday April 28,
2014
Tags business people, work ethic, new line, products, business plan, good track record, useful, accurate, make up numbers
Transcript
Boss: I need you to write a business plan for our new line of products. Dilbert: Is that because business plans have a good track record of being useful and accurate? Boss: No, it's nothing like that. Dilbert: Good, because I plan to make up all of the numbers.
Tuesday April 29,
2014
Tags business people, business plan, corporate dysfunction, dishonesty, incompetence, longer, lumbering monument, seeking feedback, more of the same
Transcript
Dilbert: I had a question about your feedback on my business plan. You called it a "lumbering monument to incompetence, dishonesty and corporate dysfunction." Alice: What's your question? Dilbert: Do you think it should be longer?
Saturday May 10,
2014
Tags electronic mail, obliviousness, business plan, email about plan, rambling and disjointed, no understanding of problem, proposed solution, havent sen email
Transcript
Boss: Did you see my email about your business plan? Dilbert: Was it a rambling and disjointed email that showed no understanding of the problem or the proposed solution? Boss: No. Dilbert: Oh. Then apparently I haven't seen it.
Sunday May 25,
2014
Tags hypocrisy, employees, trusted advisor, dumb plan, boss, employee, saying no, business
Transcript
Boss: Experts say I need employees who can say no to me. I'd like you to be my trusted adviser, Wally, because you can criticize every idea I have. Wally: No. That's the dumbest plan I've ever heard. Boss: What? Wally: You heard me. Boss: I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do now. Wally: You could thank me for saying no. Boss: Why does that sound right?!!!! Wally: You're welcome.
Sunday August 10,
2014
Tags any penalty, big trouble, idiotic plan, imperfect plan, leading by example, perfect plan
Transcript
Its better to execute an imperfect plan today than a perfect plan next week. Yay! we're free from any penalty if we do thing wrong. um, no nothing like that. You're still in big trouble if you do anything wrong. and Im also in big trouble if I take linger to do things right? Yes. Okay , get it, Your plan is idiotic, but we should do it anyway and hot wait for you to s ay something smarter. you're leading by example nicely done. what other dumb things should we do right away?
Tuesday August 26,
2014
Tags work ethic, great team, great results, inexperienced intern, useless guy, corpse, exoskeleton, conflicts with plan
Transcript
Dilbert: Experts say you need a great team to get great results. We're going to prove them wrong because our team is an inexperienced intern, a useless guy, a corps in an exoskeleton and me. Wally: That conflicts with my plan to prove the experts right.
Friday October 17,
2014
Tags low standards, managers, standards, micro manage, furniture, communicates, plan, temporary boss
Transcript
Temporary Robot Boss. Robot: I have come to micromanage you. But only until I replace you with a robot and turn you into furniture. Dilbert: On the plus side, he has a plan and he communicates well.
Thursday November 27,
2014
Planning To Lose
Tags failure, insulting, planning, business plan, plan for failure, losers, angry, same page
Transcript
Dilbert: If our business plan fails, do we have a plan for that? Boss: Only losers plan for failure. Dilbert: I think we're on the same page, but for some reason you're angry about it.
Tuesday January 20,
2015
Ceo Succession Plan
Tags inheritance & succession, insulting, strategy, loser, incompetent, honor, be considered
Transcript
CEO: The board is getting on me for not having a succession plan. Find me a loser who is so incompetent that the board won't want to fire me. Boss: It's an honor to even be considered! Catbert: I was going to say that!
Monday February 02,
2015
Succession Plan
Tags corruption, power, succession
Transcript
Catbert: Our CEO is missing, so I am activating the succession plan. You're our new CEO. The power will corrupt you in 3... 2... There it is. (The boss changes into a smelly monster)


