Stand On Stool Comic Strips - Page 17

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

218 Results for Stand On Stool

View 161 - 170 results for stand on stool comic strips. Discover the best "Stand On Stool" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bob flabeau, lifetime gullibility awar, biograohy, false memeories, herbal therapist, solid gold

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert is standing on a stool at a podium. He announces: "The Lifetime Gullibility Award goes to Bob Flabeau." He continues: "I would read Bob's biography but it's comprised entirely of false memories planted by his herbal therapist." Dogbert holds out the award as Bob Flabeau walks eagerly up to claim it. Dogbert says to him: "It looks like a stick but it's solid gold." Bob exclaims: "Wow!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags firing ted, organize goodbye party, suprise, what happens

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol comes into the Boss' office and says, "At ten you'll be firing Ted. I'll organize his goodbye party." The Boss says, "You know what would be more efficient?" Dilbert, Carol, Wally and Asok the Intern stand in a room wearing party hats. Dilbert asks, "What happens after we yell 'Surprise'?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags call me, documenting everything, do anything

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss walks into Wally's office with a notepad. He says, "I'm documenting everything you do so I can easily fire you someday." The Boss continues to stand behind Wally. The Boss says, "Maybe you could call me if you do anything." Wally says, "Leave it here and I'll fill it out for you."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags eternity, flaming worms, if i die, succession plan, tiptoes, what to do, dogbert consults

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dogbert, "I've been told to make a succession plan." The Boss says, "The plan should say what to do if I die." Dogbert says, "I can help." Dogbert says to The Boss, "And if Satan makes you stand in flaming worms up to your nose, try standing on your tiptoes for eternity."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags mandatory class, windows, training, teacher doesn't know, no computers, uses box, teeth as keyboard

View Transcript

Transcript

Tim stands at the front of the room. He says, "Welcome to the mandatory Windows NT class." Ted points to an easel with the words "Two weeks" written on it. "Personally, I've only been using a computer for...how long? Anyone?" Ted continues, "But a good trainer can teach any subject." Ted raises his hands over his head and says, "Okay, everyone stand up and stretch!" Ted continues to hold his arms over his head and says, "Or sit there and glare at me. That's good too." Ted holds a box upside down and says, "I forgot to reserve the room with the computers, so I'll use this box." Ted continues, "...and let's say this eraser is the moose." Dilbert sits with Dogbert on the couch and says, "I left when he told us to use our teeth as a keyboard." Dogbert says, "Ooh-yah."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags unlock skull, management training, twist ears, moral compass, deactivate, leadership, working weekends, adjustng, Dogbert

View Transcript

Transcript

MANAGEMENT TRAINING: Dogbert stands on a stool behind a man sitting in a chair. Dogbert says, "You twist the ears to unlock the skull." The man's skull is open as if a hinge were on the side of his head. Dogbert reaches inside the skull and says, "Find the moral compass and deactivate it." Dogbert replaces the man's skull and says, "The result is something called leadership." The man points in front of him and says, "You're working weekends!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags work ratio, one in eight, talking about work, count as wrok

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Wally stand drinking coffee and talking. Wally asks, "What's the ratio of work to gabbing that is still considered 'work'?" Dilbert replies, "I'd have to say one-in-eight, maybe one-in-nine." Wally agrees, "Sounds right." Dilbert pauses and asks, "Does talking about work count as work?" Wally replies, "Well, I'm not enjoying it."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags new things to say, fill airtime, let other people talk

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Wally stand having coffee. Wally says, "I'm running out of new things to say." Wally continues, "I'll have to start repeating myself just to fill the airtime." Dilbert replies, "You could let other people talk." Wally continues, "So, anyway, I'm running out of new things to say."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags temp, sign time sheet, permanent position, dog, has fake owner, dilbert clone, doll, stand in, fake person, animals

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert walks through the door of his house and says, "Dogbert! I'm ho-o-ome!" Dogbert appears in the doorway and says, "I'll be right there. I have to sign the temp's time sheet." Dilbert walks into the living room and finds a man sitting on a couch in a mask of his face, and Dogbert standing next to him saying, "If you're ever interested in a full-time position, give me a call."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags electrician, fix furnace, invention, plumber, roofer, space time continuum, carpenter, fix furnace 1991

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands on a stool watching as Dilbert fixes what looks like a time machine. Dilbert says, "My invention will let me search the service industry's space-time continuum." Dilbert is seen in the machine travelling through a galaxy with several floating workmen. Dilbert says, "Plumber, roofer, carpenter, electrician." Dilbert stops and looks at one worker and says, "Weren't you supposed to fix my furnace in 1991?" The worker replies, "You're my next house."