Tech Support Comic Strips - Page 17
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262 Results for Tech Support
View 161 - 170 results for tech support comic strips. Discover the best "Tech Support" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday March 05,
1996
Tags 50 page proposal, one pargraph, executive summary, impossible, give us 3 million, cool tech, resumes, festering boil, feel obligated, customers
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert sit at a table reading documents. Dilbert says, "I have to turn this fifty-page proposal into a one-paragraph executive summary for our CEO. It's impossible." Dogbert responds, "Simple." Dogbert says, "How about 'give us three million dollars so we can buy cool technology, pump up our resumes and escape this festering boil you call a company?'" Dilbert says, "I feel obligated to say something about our customers." Dogbert says, "How about 'I'm glad I'm not one of them.'"
Tuesday March 26,
1996
Tags department newsletter, high profile assignment, technical writer, intern and rodent, spats page, raise based, topless model
Transcript
The Boss, Tina the Tech Writer, Asok the Intern and Ratbert sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "I want you three to write the department newsletter. It's an important, high-profile assignment." Tina says, "I am an experienced technical writer. You have placed me on a project with an intern and a rodent." Tina continues, "MY next raise will depend on THEIR performance." Asok says, "I'll do the sports page!" Ratbert says, "I'll be the topless model on page two."
Thursday March 28,
1996
Tags dying from boredowm, inetrview, department newsletter, background, project is good, engineer, moms fallopian tubes, engineering
Transcript
Tina the Tech Writer and Dilbert sit in Dilbert's cubicle. Tina says, "At the risk of dying from boredom, I must interview you for the department newsletter." Dilbert says, "Let me give you some background before I talk about my project . . ." Tina ignores Dilbert and writes, "'The project is good,' quipped the engineer." Dilbert continues, ". . . So there I am in my mom's Fallopian tube . . ."
Friday March 29,
1996
Tags write about newsletter, grand tradition, engineering, lowest priority, dont despise
Transcript
Tina the Tech Writer approaches Wally and says, "Wally, I'm hoping you'll agree to write about your project for the newsletter . . ." Tina continues, "And in the grand tradition of engineering, I expect you'll give this the lowest priority, thus making me despise you." Wally says lovingly, "So . . . are you saying you don't despise me NOW?" Tina screams, "We are NOT having a moment here!"
Saturday March 30,
1996
Tags boring, idiotic coworkers, main accomplishment, newsletter, no raise, performance review, two percent raise, uninteresting, value of team work
Transcript
The caption says, "Performance Review." Tina the Tech Writer sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "Your main accomplishment was the department newsletter which was both uninteresting and unimportant. You get no raise." Tina looks shocked and says, "The newsletter was YOUR idea, and it's boring because most of the articles are contributed by my idiotic co-workers." The Boss says, "You don't seem to understand the value of teamwork." Tina replies, "I understand its value; it just cost me a two-percent raise."
Saturday April 20,
1996
Tags dances, dancing dogs, go wild, healed, healthy, invoice, poems, primal screams, tech me, total well being
Transcript
Dogbert, who is wearing a wizard's hat, stands on the desk in Alice's cubicle. Dogbert asks, "Have my poems and dances healed your soul yet, Alice? The company cares about your total well being." Alice says, "Excuse me." Alice leans over the cubicle wall and shouts at the Boss, "We want more MONEY, not more dancing dogs!!! M-O-N-E-Y!! The Boss and Dilbert sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "So you're saying those primal screams are healthy? Can you teach me to do it?" Dogbert says, "Here's my invoice - go wild."
Monday July 08,
1996
Tags supreme ruler, earth, go outside, runa round, mouth open, fresh air, exercise, hate flies, health
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert walk on the grass. Dogbert says, "Someday when I become the supreme ruler of earth . . ." Dilbert and Dogbert sit on a park bench. Dogbert continues, "I'll order everybody to go outside once a day and run around with their mouths open." Dilbert asks, "Because you support fresh air and exercise?" Dogbert replies, "Because I hate flies."
Friday September 20,
1996
Tags column, click, menu, uderboy, reviewed draft, duh
Transcript
Tina the Tech Writer sits at her desk and writes, "To insert a column, click the column insert menu." Tina types, "But let's be honest, userboy, if you need to be told THAT, you're too stupid to use this product." Tina asks Dilbert, "Have you reviewed the draft yet?" Dilbert replies, "I'm up to the chapter titled 'Duh.'"
Friday November 08,
1996
Tags new sex symbols, online personals, tech prowness, moonlit walks, must like to dance, applicants
Transcript
Dilbert sits on the couch using a laptop and Dogbert stands on the armrest. Dogbert says, "Men who understand technology are the new sex symbols. Your online personals ad should emphasize your technical prowess." Dilbert asks, "How about 'Looking for woman who likes moonlit walks so I'll have more time alone with my computer'?" Dilbert continues, "And 'Must like to dance.' That's so I won't get a flabby, uncoordinated applicant." Dogbert says, "Don't call them 'applicants' on the first date."
Friday January 17,
1997
Tags annual performance review, past two weeks, vacation, two weeks, spread motivation
Transcript
The Boss hands Tina the Tech Writer a document. He says, "Here's you annual performance review, Tina." The Boss continues, "I focused on your performance for the past two weeks because I don't remember anything farther back." Tina screams, "I was on VACATION for the past two weeks!!!" The Boss replies, "No time to chat. I need to spread some motivation over here."


