Ten Thousand Comic Strips - Page 17

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View 161 - 170 results for ten thousand comic strips. Discover the best "Ten Thousand" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #despicable creep, #pay for crimes, #tell him, #feelings, #date at 10

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Dilbert walks with a dark haired women. She says, "I never told my last boyfriend what a despicable creep he was." She grabs on to the front of Dilbert's shirt and says, "But you'll pay for his crimes and pay dearly!!" Dilbert looks mad and says, "Why don't you call him and tell him how you feel?" She says, "I have a date with him at ten o'clock tonight."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #reduce budget, #project is vital, #eliminate, #funny part

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The Boss says to Alice, who is seated in her cubicle, "Every department was asked how it could reduce its budget by ten percent." The Boss says, "Your project is vital to the future of the company, so I cleverly offered to eliminate it, knowing they couldn't accept." The Boss says, "Now this is the funny part..."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the turnaround ceo, #work of 10 people, #strategic planning, #traitorous mole

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The Turnaround CEO Dilbert is standing in front of the CEO's desk saying, "If you let me keep my job, I'll do the work of ten people." The CEO looks like the devil. Dilbert goes on, "Specifically, it would be the ten people in our strategic planning group." Dilbert says, "They don't do much." The CEO replies, "I'd like you to be my traitorous mole."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #back in 10, #managers, #over communicate, #times of uncertainty, #you're fired, #ted fired

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The boss says to Ed: "Ed, the experts say managers should over-communicate during times of uncertainty." The boss screams at Ed: "You're fired, you're fired, you're fired, you're fired, you're fired!." Ed looks surprised. The boss says to Ed: "I'll come back in ten minutes to do that again." Ed looks angry.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #firing ted, #organize goodbye party, #suprise, #what happens

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Carol comes into the Boss' office and says, "At ten you'll be firing Ted. I'll organize his goodbye party." The Boss says, "You know what would be more efficient?" Dilbert, Carol, Wally and Asok the Intern stand in a room wearing party hats. Dilbert asks, "What happens after we yell 'Surprise'?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #didn't ask, #erased hard drive, #mansplain, #reformatting hard drive, #step aside, #upgardes

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Ted says to Noriko, "Step aside. I'm from I.S." Noriko replies, "I didn't ask for any upgrades. " Ted answers, "That's what they all say until..." Noriko says to Ted in a horrified voice, "It's reformatting my hard drive!" Ted replies, "That's ten in a row. Maybe it's me."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sitting in a box, #checking stocks, #cucbicle, #job, #stock market, #this is life, #computer, #money, #survival, #business, #technology

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As Dilbert sits at his computer he thinks to himself, "I'm sittin' in a box and checkin' my stocks." Dilbert continues thinking, "I must use all my willpower to resist checking every ten seconds." Dilbert again thinks, "I'm sittin' in a box and checkin' my stocks."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sales department, #die, #deaths, #bile, #quality control

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Man: Hello, is this the sales department? Elbonian 1: May you die a thousand deaths by choking on your own bile. Supervisor may be monitoring this call for quality control, Elbonian 2: Its good.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hard work, #nights, #weekends, #demand 10 percent

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Alice is sitting at her computer. She looks thoroughly disheveled. The Boss says to her, "Alice, all of your hard work - the nights and the weekends - are finally paying off." The Boss continues, "We increased our five-year forecast of demand by ten percent!" Alice responds, "You changed a wild guess by ten percent?" The Boss replies, "Thanks to you!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #restructed, #repurposed, #reassigned, #volunteered to quit

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The Boss says to Ted, "Ted, you have ten seconds to decide if you want to be restructured, repurposed, or reassigned." Ted exclaims, "Repurposed! No, wait.. restructured.. No, reassigned! No, repurposed!" Catbert asks The Boss, "How many people volunteered to quit and didn't know?" The Boss responds, "Two out of Three!"