Unlimited Vacation Days Comic Strips - Page 17
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240 Results for Unlimited Vacation Days
View 161 - 170 results for unlimited vacation days comic strips. Discover the best "Unlimited Vacation Days" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday December 16,
2003
Tags #engineers, #jobs, #want job your job, #falling out of trees, #dime a dozen, #intimidation, #job on line, #idle threats
Transcript
The Boss: The woods are full of people who want your job. These days you can't shake a tree without three or four engineers falling out. Id love to stay and chat but I need to go motivate the other headcounts.
Thursday January 01,
2004
Tags #office relocation, #procedures, #wrong cubicle, #easily stealable, #move computer, #rules and regulations, #company rules
Transcript
Office relocation. Esok: you are not allowed to move you own computer. It must be left in an easily sealable condition for three days until the movers take it to the wrong cubicle. Then untrained I.T Professionals will shove an ethernet cable and stapler and call it good. Dilbert: get out of my way
Monday January 12,
2004
Tags #need approval, #exhausted, #bored, #head ache, #business travel
Transcript
Dilbert: "I need your approval to.." "... Be exhausted, bored, stiff, headachy, annoyed and constipated for the next three days." "Also known as 'business travel.'" The Boss: "I must be traveling right now!"
Saturday March 06,
2004
Tags #cpr on blob, #fire in break room, #sprinkler system, #water melketed, #witch melted
Transcript
The Boss: "When I found out that the manager who replaced me was a witch, I set a fire in the break room." "The automatic sprinkler system came on and melted her. Witches don't like water." "Are you glad to have me back?" "I've been doing CPR on this blob for two days."
Monday April 19,
2004
Tags #real estate, #sell house, #agent, #doesn't know maybe, #moving fast, #control process, #escrow closes
Transcript
Dilbert: "Maybe I should sell this house and get a newer one." Dogbert: "I'll be the real estate agent." Dilbert: "I said maybe." Dogbert: "A good real estate agent doesn't know the meaning of that word." Dilbert: "Things are moving too fast. I've lost control of the process." Dogbert: "Pack your stuff, waffler. Escrow closes in ten days."
Thursday July 08,
2004
Tags #more time, #no shaving, #all forms of hygiene, #unwashed telecommunting, #clown shoes, #long toe nails
Transcript
"I save so much time by not shaving that Im considering giving up all forms of hygiene." "I'd phase into it by having a few unwashed telecommuting days per week." "And if you wear clown shoes, you never need to clip your toenails." "I should be writing this down."
Wednesday September 29,
2004
Tags #inflamed coccyx, #unnecessary body parts, #surgery over work, #napping, #slacker, #watch tv
Transcript
"Do you have a price sheet for removing unnecessary body parts?" "I wouldn't mind a few days away from work, being waited on, watching TV and napping." "You have an inflamed coccyx?" "Yeah, it's gotta go."
Friday October 29,
2004
Tags #no vacation, #inability to plan, #contact wedding guets, #arranged marriage cancelled, #project finished
Transcript
There will be no vacations until the project is finished. "It feels as if I am being punished for your inability to properly plan and staff." "I will contact my 800 wedding guests and tell them that my arranged marriage is cancelled." "Thanks."
Tuesday December 07,
2004
Tags #temporary blindness, #presciption, #dopey, #flashes of obvious
Transcript
Doctor: It's temporary blindness caused by your boss's flashes of the obvious. " doctor: Let Dogbert guide you for a few days. And here's a prescription to make you dopey." Dilbert: "Now?" Dogbert: "Whatever."
Wednesday December 08,
2004
Tags #blinding flashes, #sightless, #didn't drive car, #can't do that
Transcript
Your blinding flashes of the obvius made me sightless for three days. "I hope you didn't drive your car. You're not supoosed to do that when you're blind." "GAAA!!!" "I'm upsetting you."