Won't Get Caught Comic Strips - Page 17

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View 161 - 170 results for won't get caught comic strips. Discover the best "Won't Get Caught" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new customer, #top 5 compnaies, #low price, #high margins

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An employee comes into the Boss' office with a man and says, "I'd like you to meet our newest customer." The Boss says, "You won't be sorry; we're one of the top five companies in this field." The customer turns to the employee and says, "I thought you said no one else makes this kind of product." The Boss interjects, "No one else makes one with so few features." The employee grimaces as the customer asks, "So...your strategy is low price, right?" The Boss replies, "No, high margins!" The customer grabs the employee by the collar and begins to choke him, screaming, "YOU!!" The employee's feet are propped up on the Boss' desk as the Boss thinks to himself, "I'd better ask someone what a 'margin' is."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #awake, #two days staright, #deadline, #all for nothing, #middel, #stack, #forget it

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Alice stands at Carol's desk. Alice hair is a mess and she holds a report. Alice says, "I stayed awake for two days straight to finish this R.F.Q. by the deadline." Alice says, "But it will all be for nothing if you don't send it out today." Alice hands the folder to Carol. Carol puts the folder in the middle of a huge pile of papers on her desk and says, "I'll put it in the middle of the stack so I won't forget."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #analysis, #ask unnecessary cahnges, #stop ahead, #analysis unnecessary, #science

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The Boss comes into Wally's cubicle and asks, "Wally, did you finish the analysis for tomorrow?" Wally answers, "No." Wally continues, "I'm waiting until the last minute so you won't have time to ask for unnecessary changes." The Boss walks away and thinks, "I'm already one step ahead of him- the analysis itself is unnecessary."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #good morning, #convince they don't exist, #no pay

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Dilbert walks by the boss and says, "Good morning!" The boss continues to walk by. Dilbert says, "I said, good morning." The boss says, "If I convince them they don't exist, I won't have to pay them."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #knew you were rebel, #cool rebels, #stop talking, #threats, #argue, #bathrobe to work

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The girl with several piercing holds Dilbert's arm and says, "When I saw you wear a bathrobe to work, I knew you were a rebel." The girl says, "From now on, when you come upon a group of us cool rebels, we won't suddenly stop talking." Dilbert and the girl walk up to two heavily pierced men. One of the pierced rebel men says, "But if I'M right and yellow IS a flavor, I get to hammer a nail into YOUR skull."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hiding nametag, #fake babies, #see name, #start fliting, #babies, #third fake baby, #still hides name

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Dilbert is at the checkout counter of clothes store. The cashier has her hand over her name tag. Dilbert thinks, "She's hiding her name tag so I won't get friendly with her." dilbert reaches into a sack and thinks, "I'll toss these fake babies in the air. When she catches them, I'll see her name and start flirting." The cashier catches one baby, the other lands on her head as her hand remains on her name tag. Dilbert thinks, "Dang! I knew I should have brought a third fake baby."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cube farm, #excellent yield, #put down, #reproduce

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The cube farmer walks through the cubicle and thinks, "My cube farm has an excellent yield this year." The farmer looks at Wally and says, "I reckon I'll have to put this one down so he won't reproduce." The farmer says, "Sorry." Wally says, "No problem; I hear that a lot."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #allen, #autograph book, #flat surface, #parents

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Mister Dogbert, would you autograph my book? Dogbert: Sure, Kid. But I'll need to use your back as aft surface. Dilbert: He's got parents. Dogbert:"Matthew" won't fit , so I'll call him "Allen"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #project, #not funded, #strategic plan, #make waves, #cubicle, #powerpoint, #reorg

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Dilbert says, to the boss, "You gave me a project that can't be funded because it's not in the strategic plan." Dilbert says, "An you won't let me make waves by asking for a change to the strategic plan." Dilbert says, "So I'll be in my cubicle creating "powerpoint" slide and praying for recognition."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #little stubborn guy, #dumb guy, #take over, #fulfill

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BIG: Id like you to meet the little stubborn dumb guy, Dumb: : If for any reason I cannot fulfill my duty to thwart your project, The LSDG will take over for me. Dumb: No, I won't . Big: Yes you will!!