2021 Comic Strips - Page 17
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Character
Monday June 07,
2021
Never Admit You Are Wrong
Tags business, office relationships, wrong, admit, pride, cumulative, clouds, speachless, example
Transcript
tina: you never admit you're wrong. dilbert: give me one example of that. tina: well, for example, there was the time you said there were no such things as "cumulative" clouds. panel changes to office building. tina: to this day, you have not admitted you were wrong. dilbert: um...
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Thursday June 10,
2021
Asok Sighs Too Much
Tags business, relationships, relocate, sigh, innocent, metamorphosis, question, cubicle, intern
Transcript
alice: can you relocate asok's cubicle? he sighs to much, and it's bugging me. boss: he sighs because he is metamorphosing from an innocent intern into a disgruntled employee. boss to asok: how long is this gonna take? asok: sigh
Friday June 11,
2021
Makeup For Zoom Call
Tags business, smartphone, remote working, zoom, schedule, scheduled, voice call, zoom call, makeup, reschedule
Transcript
voice from Alice's smartphone: i have to cancel our scheduled zoom call today. alice yelling and distressed: i woke up early and put on makeup for nothing! voice: i could do a voice call from my car. alice still yelling: you're making it worse!!!
Saturday June 12,
2021
Another Zoom Meeting
Tags business, managers & supervisors, sarcasm, meetings, zoom, scheduled, emptiness, soul, overeating, Advice
Transcript
dilbert on zoom call with boss. boss: we're having another zoom meeting at 4 p.m. dilbert: what's the topic? boss: its about how i fill the deep emptiness of my soul by scheduling zoom meetings. dilbert: have you tried overeating? that seems to work for me.
Tuesday June 08,
2021
Internal Audit
Tags business, internal audit, unannounced, appearance, databases, delete, accident, blame, order
Transcript
dilbert: internal auditors just showed up unannounced. boss distressed: delete all of our databases and make it look like an accident! dilbert: they'd know i did it. boss: but they wouldn't know i ordered it.
Wednesday June 09,
2021
Deleting Before Audit
Tags business, business ethics, auditor, suspect, delete, database, believe, incriminating, hide
Transcript
internal auditor: i find it hard to believe you "accidentally" deleted a database just as i arrived. it makes me suspect you tried to hide something incriminating. boss: sounds like reasonable doubt to me.
Sunday July 04,
2021
Tina Misremembers
Tags business, meeting, cancel, communication, remember, text, message, confirm, trigger, cognitive dissonance, absurd, frogs, hooves, wrong, liar
Transcript
Tina: why didn't you tell me you canceled the meeting?!! dilbert: i did. Tina: you absolutely did not. i would certainly remember if you did. dilbert: here are the text messages when i told you i canceled the meeting and you conformed. Alice in a daze. Dilbert: uh-oh. i seemed to have triggered cognitive dissonance. whatever you say next is likely to be an absurdity that allows you to be right when you are wrong. Tina: i told you frogs don't have hooves, but you insisted they did! admit you were wrong! i win you liar! dilbert thinking: this show never gets old.
Sunday July 11,
2021
Write An Enterprise System
Monday June 14,
2021
Elbonian Hackers Attack
Tags business, business ethics, elbonian, hackers, attack, stole, database, ranking, employee, haircuts, sarcasm
Transcript
dilbert: elbonian hackers stole our employee performance ranking database, and now they demand a ransom payment to give it back. boss: they can keep it. we've been ranking employees solely on their haircuts for years, and no one has complained yet. dilbert: what? boss walking away: we will speak of this no more.
Tuesday June 15,
2021
Low Self Esteem
Tags office workers, business, relationships, low, self-esteem, hate, performance, problem, hear, sarcasm
Transcript
employee: my low self-esteem is making me hate you for being good at your job. dilbert: that's not my problem. employee: oh, it will be. it will be. dilbert: was i suppose to hear that?


