Anti Stupid Gun Comic Strips - Page 17

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

343 Results for Anti Stupid Gun

View 161 - 170 results for anti stupid gun comic strips. Discover the best "Anti Stupid Gun" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work place violence, #prevention training, #violent emplyees, #identify, #beards, #creepy, #ineffective males, #widely disprected

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina says to the group, "Welcome to workplace violence prevention training." Tina continues, "How can we identify potentially violent employees?" Wally raises his hand excitedly yelling, "Ooh! Ooh!" Tina says, "Wally?" Wally answers, "Do they have beards?" Tina replies, "Um...no. That was a stupid answer." Tina says, "Violent employees are usually creepy, inefficiently males who are widely disrespected." Dilbert raises his hand and asks Tina, "May I change seats?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #can't breathe, #demonstration, #evil eye process, #new consultant, #paper cut bleeding, #rasputin, #charisma

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to his staff, "This is Rasputin, our new consultant." The Boss continues, "He stopped my paper cut from bleeding." The Boss says to everyone, "He has charisma." Alice says, "I'd like to see a demonstration on Asok." Rasputin looks at Asok fiercely. Asok nervously says, "Ack...can't breathe..." The Boss says to everyone, "That's called the evil eye process. Now do Wally." Rasputin begins to stare at Wally. Wally replies, "Ack...can't breathe..." Wally drops to the floor and the Boss says, "He never had a chance." Dilbert replies, "Your anti-charisma is strong today."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #email, #addiction, #monkey on back, #resist, #key board with foot

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I have an email monkey on my back, but I can quit whenever I want. I don't need to check it every minute. I can resist. But Look! The stupid monkey hot my keyboard with his foot!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #huge, #management training, #stupid mistake, #class, #school, #learn from it, #education

View Transcript

Transcript

MANAGEMENT TRAINING: Dogbert says to Alice and the rest of the Management Training class, "What would you do if you made a huge, incredibly stupid mistake?" A man sitting next to Alice in the class raises his hand and says, "I would try to learn from it." Dogbert asks, "Did you learn anything from your answer?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #soul mates, #one per person, #everyone gets one, #monkey, #animals

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: I believe there is one true soul mate for every person. Dilbert: He must be very busy. Tina: I meant one per person. your way would be stupid. Dilbert: Can your should mate be a monkey?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #inform carol, #whereabouts, #wandering around, #canceled policy, #stupid policy, #work for carol, #keeping track everyone

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Wally are facing The Boss at a conference table. The Boss says, "Yesterday I needed to ask Dilbert a question but I couldn't find him." The Boss' voice continues, "From now on, each of you must inform Carol of your whereabouts at all times." Alice turns to Wally and whispers, "Handle it." Wally walks past Carol's desk with a coffee cup in his hand. He reports, "I'll be wandering around with my coffee cup." He continues, as Carol frowns in the background: "If I find a newspaper I'll take a break in marketing's luxurious rest facilities." He continues, "Then I'll stop by the cute intern's cubicle to do some flirting." Carol sits thoroughly irritated and he continues nonetheless: "I stand in her doorway so she can't escape. I think I'm making progress." He goes to take a sip of coffee and concludes, "I'm becoming immune to pepper spray." Carol enters The Boss' office and says, "I canceled your stupid policy." The Boss continues to read the newspaper, unaffected.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fired from restuarant, #carried hot soup, #spray doning room, #soup, #blame soup

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert comes home and says to Dogbert, "I got fired from my job at the restaurant." Dilbert continues, "Every time I carried hot soup my thumb would slip in and I'd scream and spray the whole dining room." Dilbert continues, "I blame the soup." Dogbert replies, "Stupid soup."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #staff meetings, #late for meetings, #ten minutes, #stupid stuff, #fine work, #noticing

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss addresses a meeting, "Can anyone tell me why everyone is always late for my staff meetings?" Alice responds, "Because the first ten minutes are always stupid stuff like 'What are people late?'" Dilbert turns to Alice and says, "Alice, that was some of your finest work." Alice responds, "Thank you for noticing."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #skills inventory, #transfer jobs, #check boxes, #hazmat section

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally asks Asok, "Have you completed your skills inventory?" Asok responds, "I'm submitting it now." Wally says, "They use that information to transfer you to jobs you don't want." Wally continues, "You'll be okay as long as you didn't check any of the boxes in the hazmat section." Asok clenches his fists and says, "Stupid stupid stupid."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #training budget slashed, #cancel class, #already paid, #appear smart, #while secretly stupid

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert, "The training budget got slashed. You have to cancel your class." Dilbert responds, "We already paid for the class." The Boss replies, "We'll look bad if you go." Dilbert says, "So, our plan is to appear smart while secretly being stupid?" The Boss replies, "You can make anything sound bad."