Avoid Work Comic Strips - Page 17
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1000 Results for Avoid Work
View 161 - 170 results for avoid work comic strips. Discover the best "Avoid Work" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday June 19,
1994
Tags new cucbicle, self suffcient, work space, life suport, various tubes, watch to body, vital signs, monitor, central location, human resources dept, emergency hiring
Transcript
"Here's your new cubicle: the Cuborg 2000." "It's a self-sufficient workspace and life support system." "These tubes attach to various parts of your body so you never have to leave." "Various parts?" "Let's just say you don't want to get these two tubes mixed up." "We'll monitor your vital signs from a central location." "The company nurse?" "No; the human resources department, in case we have to do some emergency hiring." "Is it upgradeable?" "Yeah, the Cuborg 3000 is expected to have air holes."
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Monday June 27,
1994
Tags book publishing, reject people, dismiss lifes work, gesture, witty comment, not a people person, dog, animals
Transcript
"I'm going to start my own book publishing company so I can reject people all day long." "I'll dismiss their life's work with a gesture and a witty comment." "Bottom line, I'm just not a people person." "I've noticed."
Saturday July 09,
1994
Tags dogumentray, engineer at work, director dog, directing dilbert, jumps into action, focus, moved mouse, screen saver, deactivated
Transcript
"As my dogumentary begins, we see the engineer hard at work." "Suddenly, he leaps into action! Years of training and experience come into focus!" "The screen saver has been deactivated. But doubt sets in...was there a better way?" "I should have moved the mouse."
Sunday July 10,
1994
Tags share accomplishements, meeting, share, tiger team, lock up session, meeting cancelled, nothing tangible, busy work, business
Transcript
The Boss: Let's each share our accomplishments for the month. Dilbert: To the untrained observer it might seem like I didn't accomplish anything. However, I did strategically "position" my project by socializing it within the company. Dilbert: Then Wally and I help a "tiger team" lock up session. Then I prepared the executive briefing package for the big meeting that got cancelled. Since then Ive spent most if my time looking for the best project management software to use. And I did it all within ten percent of my budget goal, Dilbert: Looking good. Wally: wow all I did was that tiger thing.
Monday July 18,
1994
Tags great solutions, bicycle seats, dorky pants, bicycle pants
Transcript
GREAT SOLUTIONS IN ENGINEERING Problem: Bicycle seats are hard. They Hurt. Analysis: there must be something work with your pants, Dogbert: Solution: dorky pants.
Thursday July 28,
1994
Tags gerard depardieu, ceo, productive work, overhead transparencies, exaggerate value, uglier coworkers, actors
Transcript
The Boss: Our CEO will visit here next week. You all know what to do. Dilbert: we should stop all productive work and create overhead transparencies that exggerate our value. The Boss: and a few of our uglier coworkers will be replaced by actors. Dilbert: As long as its no Gerard Depardieu.
Sunday July 31,
1994
Tags boost morale, alpha project, atta boy certificate, lazy imposter, wallyina, indian name, gives award, alice gets award
Transcript
"I'd like to boost morale by presenting this 'Attaboy' certificate to Willy." "It's Wally, not Willy." "I becomes an A with a dot over it." "Wink" "Anyway, this is for your good work on the Alpha project." "Thanks, but I didn't work on the Alpha project." "Get out of my sight, you lazy imposter!" "With a little bit of luck, I can pull this out." "I give you your Indian name: Wallyina"
Monday August 01,
1994
Tags boos, delegate work, mark compalins, throws a fit, complain, behind back, boss retreats
Transcript
The Boss: We've hired the Dogbert Ad Agency to give our company a new image. Mark: AAAGH! MARK: Sure, Sure...I"ll do it, but I'll have this expression the whole time. and just maybe I"ll complain behind your back!! The Boss: Never mind, I'll do it myself. Oh, right, keep the good assignment,
Wednesday August 03,
1994
Tags best assets, competitions worst, employees on job, hidden camera, imply, they work for competition, ad agency, dogbert's ad agency
Transcript
Dogbert's Ad Agency Dogbert: Your commercial should compare your best assets to the competition's worst. we'll use a hidden camera to film your employees on the job. The Boss: I missed something here... Dogbert: we'll imply that they all work for the competition . this isn't a documentary.
Thursday August 04,
1994
Tags commercial, show company cars, avoid pedestrians, message, we care, sell bloopers, dick clark
Transcript
"Dogbert's Ad Agency" "The commercial will show company cars braking hard to avoid pedestrians." "The message is, 'we care about people we don't even know!'" "Was it dangerous to film this?" "We'll sell the bloopers to Dick Clark." "Thud"

