Ceo Comic Strips - Page 17
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627 Results for Ceo
View 161 - 170 results for ceo comic strips. Discover the best "Ceo" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday July 18,
2008
Tags moral compass damaged, vice president, miserable and helpless, actual job
Transcript
A man says, "It has come to my attention that your moral compass is damaged." The man says, "I'm promoting you to vice president of making employees feel miserable and helpless." Dilbert says, "That's an actual job?" The man says, "It doesn't happen on its own."
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Tuesday July 22,
2008
Tags ceo, thrown out window, press charges, security, gunning for job, hire for yacht, policeman
Transcript
Dilbert says, "My CEO threw me through a fifth-floor window. I'd like to press charges." A policeman says, "Your CEO? Do you think he would hire me to do security on his yacht?" Dilbert says, "No." The policeman says, "Would he hire me if I club you with this stick-thing?" Dilbert says, "Maybe."
Friday July 25,
2008
Tags ceo, escape justice, support group, thrown out wondow, injured, casts, bandages
Transcript
Dilbert says, "I need to find a support group for people who have my same problem." Dilbert says, "Type 'thrown out of a fifth floor window by a CEO who will escape justice.'" A man says, "look who doesn't have a broken leg. Do you think you're better than us?"
Saturday July 26,
2008
Tags deliver papaers, ceo, served him, bob, double faulting
Transcript
Dilbert says, "Did you deliver those legal papers to my CEO?" Bob says, "No, I served him." Dilbert says, "It means the same thing." Bob says, "How could it?" Dilbert says, "No, really, it does." Bob says, "Now I feel bad about double faulting."
Monday July 28,
2008
Tags lawsuit, represent in lawsuit, one condition, do everything, without hesitation
Transcript
Dilbert says, "Will you represent me in my lawsuit against my CEO?" Dogbert says, "Under one condition." Dogbert says, "You must do everything I ask, without question or hesitation." Dilbert says, "What if you tell me to do painful things for your amusement?" "Dogbert says, "If?"
Wednesday July 30,
2008
Tags court room, judge, lawyer, ceo, witness, defendant, die die die, admits guilt, first question, legal
Transcript
Dogbert says, "Where were you on the day that Dilbert was pushed out of your office window?" The CEO says, "I was directly behind him, in this position, yelling 'die, die, die!'" The CEO says, "The first question is just practice, right?"
Thursday August 07,
2008
Tags financial bakery, abuse, zero units, cook books, foot notes, smell like feet
Transcript
Dogbert says, "Welcome to 'Dogbert's Financial Bakery.' How may I abuse you?" A man says, "We shipped zero units this quarter. Can you cook our books?" Dogbert says, "Of course." The man says, "Will anyone know?" Dogbert says, "Sometimes the footnotes smell like actual feet."
Saturday September 20,
2008
Tags out of coffee, false sense, urgency, stress, project, finish project, aftrenoon
Transcript
Dilbert says, "We're out of coffee." Dilbert says, "Can you give me a false sense of urgency and some unnecessary stress to compensate?" The Boss says, "Finish your project before our CEO stops by on Tuesday." Dilbert says, "Perfect. I'll see you this afternoon for a second cup."
Saturday September 27,
2008
Tags director of green, pumping toxic waste, water supply, giant mutated alliagtor, destroyed factory, competitors factory, karma discredited, pollute
Transcript
Director of Green Andy says, "We've been pumping toxic waste into the water supply for years." Andy says, "yesterday, a giant, mutated alligator destroyed our only competitor's factory." The CEO says, "Now that karma has been discredited, what else can we pollute?" Andy says, "The sky's the limit."
Monday October 13,
2008
Tags dogcart the ceo, salary, 400x more, admit your selfish, money
Transcript
Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "My salary is 400 times more than yours." Dogbert says, "My goal is to jack that up to 410, maybe 420." A woman says, "I hate you for this." Dogbert says, "So you admit you're selfish?"


