Contract Employees Comic Strips - Page 17

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618 Results for Contract Employees

View 161 - 170 results for contract employees comic strips. Discover the best "Contract Employees" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 02, 1998's comic on:


Tags #improve moral, #prescribing anti depressants, #unwarranted optimism, #dead end job, #pills, #hr prescribed drugs, #employees happiness

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Alice says to Wally and Dilbert, "Human resources is prescribing powerful antidepressants to improve morale." Alice continues, "The label says it may cause 'unwarranted optimism about you dead-end job.'" Wally, "I gotta get me some of that."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 06, 1998's comic on:


Tags #mordac, #preventer of information services, #guidlines for passwords, #six characters, #include numbers and letters, #upper and lower case, #change once a month, #touture employees, #write nothing down

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Man comes up to Dilbert and introduces himself, "I am Mordac, the preventer of information services. I bring new guidelines for passwords." Dilbert reads the guidelines, "'All passwords must be at least six characters long.. include numbers and letters.. include a mix of upper and lower case..'" Dilbert continues to read, "'Use different passwords for each system change once a month, do not write anything down.'" Mordac yells, "Squeal like a pig!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 29, 1998's comic on:


Tags #declare martial law, #jailing ombudsmen, #personal phone calls, #recommend changes, #shoot emplyees, #shoot employees

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Dogbert and The Boss sitting at table. Dogbert passes a memo to The Boss and says, "Although your company is very profitable, I wouldn't be much of a consultant if I didn't recommend changes." The Boss views the recommendations and says, "You recommend jailing our ombudsman and declaring martial law ... makes sense." The Boss asks Dogbert, "Then could I shoot employees who make personal phone calls?" Dogbert replies, "It's okay with me."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 15, 1998's comic on:


Tags #flu darts, #stockholders, #benefit of stockholders, #not employees, #401k stock, #not real, #boss says not real

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Wally is standing in front of the Boss' desk. There are four darts in Wally's back. The Boss tells him, "No one likes being hunted down and shot with flu darts, Wally." He continues, "But remember: companies are managed for the benefit of stockholders, not employees." Wally responds, "I own stock. It's in my 401(K) account." The Boss counters, "I'm not supposed to tell you, but none of that is real."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 24, 1998's comic on:


Tags #new customer, #top 5 compnaies, #low price, #high margins

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An employee comes into the Boss' office with a man and says, "I'd like you to meet our newest customer." The Boss says, "You won't be sorry; we're one of the top five companies in this field." The customer turns to the employee and says, "I thought you said no one else makes this kind of product." The Boss interjects, "No one else makes one with so few features." The employee grimaces as the customer asks, "So...your strategy is low price, right?" The Boss replies, "No, high margins!" The customer grabs the employee by the collar and begins to choke him, screaming, "YOU!!" The employee's feet are propped up on the Boss' desk as the Boss thinks to himself, "I'd better ask someone what a 'margin' is."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 08, 1998's comic on:


Tags #Catbert, #evil hr director, #bad news, #reading papaers, #low unemployment rate, #cubicle roof

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Caption: Catbert: Evil H.R. Director Catbert on The Boss' desk. The Boss sitting behind the desk. Catbert says, "Bad news: The employees are reading a newspaper." Catbert continues, "If they see the low unemployment rate, they'll know the balance of power has swung their way." Wally, Dilbert, and Alice sitting at table with newspapers on it. Alice holding a newspaper. Wally says, I plan to use the cat as a gargoyle on my cubicle roof." Dilbert responds, "If you run a current through him you can zap bugs."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 06, 1998's comic on:


Tags #eliminate privacy, #dignity, #share hotel rooms, #business trips, #tandem showering policy

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Caption: Catbert: H.R. Director Catbert typing at computer terminal. Catbert types, "Consistent with our effort to eliminate privacy and dignity..." Dilbert at his computer terminal reading what Catbert is typing. Catbert's text reads, "...employees must share hotel rooms on all business trips." Catbert at his desk in front of his computer thinking, "After they get used to this, I'll introduce the tandem showering policy."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 07, 1998's comic on:


Tags #share hotel rooms, #conference, #roomie, #agree to rules, #spoon on right, #sleep together, #buddies, #new rules, #cheap company

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Dilbert standing next to Wally, who's sitting at his computer terminal. Dilbert says, "Wally, as you know, employees must share hotel rooms at the conference..." Dilbert continues, "So I was wondering if you'd like to...you know...be my roomie." Wally responds, "Sure." Dilbert says, "We'll have to agree on some rules." Wally replies, "I can only spoon on my right."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 20, 1998's comic on:


Tags #conversation, #cubicle, #dwellers, #shut up!!, #alice, #impatience

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Two employees talking outside of Alice's cubicle. Alice says to the employees, "Excuse me. I couldn't avoid hearing your converstaion outside my cubicle." Alice continues, "I think I speak for a lot of cubicle dwellers when I say..." Alice yells, "SHUT UP!!" Both employees are pushed backwards by the force of Alice's yell.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 21, 1998's comic on:


Tags #interfered with project, #empowering employees, #bonus, #real boss, #body in dumpster, #boss acting unusual

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Dilbert and The Boss. Dilbert says, "You haven't interfered with my project in weeks. Something must be wrong." The Boss responds, "I believe in empowering my employees and staying out of the way." Dilbert, in a surprised manner, says, "Am I going to find my real boss's body in a dumpster?" The Boss says, "There's extra money in the budget. Would you like a bonus?"