Design Awards Comic Strips - Page 17

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

173 Results for Design Awards

View 161 - 170 results for design awards comic strips. Discover the best "Design Awards" comics from Dilbert.com.

Cracked Screen

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Cracked Screen  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #phone, #cell phone, #fragile, #design, #screen, #case, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Introducing our new mobile phone product, the BSB 100. BSB stands for Beautiful, Slippery, and Brittle. Oops. Voice: What's the 100 stand for? Dilbert: That's how many times you'll have to replace a cracked screen.

Winning Design Awards

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Winning Design Awards - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #design, #fragile, #cell phone, #crack, #screen, #evil, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: 100 percent of our smartphone buyers dropped and broke their phones within one minute of unboxing them. Despite our slippery materials and brittle design, customers blamed themselves. And we won seven prestigious design awards. CEO: Yes!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #suggestion, #invention, #budget, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The electronic suggestion box project is halfway done. The original design called for a bos that scans and digitizes suggestions written on paper and emails them to the appropriate manager. Then the device shreds the original paper suggestion to make room for more. I already built the box and the shredder. I'll need additional funding to finish the scanning part. Boss: We don't have any flexibility in our budget. Let's just deploy what you have. Dilbert: All I have is a box that shreds suggestions before anyone reads them. Boss: Don't let perfect be the enemy of good.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #valor, #awards, #bragging, #laziness

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The employee award for valor goes to Wally. During the false alarm, we noticed Wally was not with the other evacuees. He stayed behind to make sure everyone else got out. At least that's what he told us later. Wally, do you have any words of inspiration for the group? Wally: Most of you are cowards. But imagine how good you would feel winning a non-monetary award for valor. Now I ask all of you to think about how you can repay me for my selfless valor on your behalf. Dilbert: Did you sleep through the fire alarm? Wally: Most productive nap I've ever had.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #insurance, #humiliation, #death, #scam, #darwin awards, #spin, #headline, #media, #Entertainment, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: Would you like to buy an insurance policy to protect against a humorous death? Boss: Why would I need it? Dogbert: well, let's say you're at the zoo and you drop your sunglasses into the lion pit. You lower yourself into the pit to get the sunglasses, but the lions get to you first. You don't want the headlines to read "Pointy-haired Idiot Mauled To Death By The King Of The Jungle." So instead, the moment you die, my agents rush in to create a narrative for the media. In this case, we might spin the story as "Local Man Teaches Zoo How To Reduce Food Costs." Boss: Are the policies affordable? Dogbert: Yes, if you waive the coverage for mascot-related deaths.

Award For Cutting Costs

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Award For Cutting Costs - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ceo, #award, #cutting, #costs, #department, #underfunded, #losers, #awards, #help

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I am proud to give you this award for cutting costs more than any other department. Dilbert: All of our projects failed because they are underfunded. CEO: How do you put up with these losers? The Boss: The awards help.

Not In My Town

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Not In My Town - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #engineering, #office, #office workers, #nuclear

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: i engineered a totally safe design for nuclear power plants. ceo: how sure are you that it is safe? dilbert: one hundred percent. ceo: just keep it away from my town. dilbert: maybe it wasn't an engineering problem after all.

Wally Has Skills

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Has Skills - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #performance, #review, #robot, #design, #skills

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: wally, your performance is substandard. wally: give me a great performance review, or else i'll design a robot that will take your job. boss: you could do that? wally: i have the skills. i just don't like to use them.

Sadist Designs Interface

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Sadist Designs Interface - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #technology, #user, #interfaces, #job, #unwanted, #customers, #sadist, #stockholm

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i hired a sadist to design our user interfaces. i realize this isn't ideal, but no one else wanted the job. dilbert: why would our customers buy a product designed by a sadist? boss: it's called stockholm syndrome.

Employer Of The Year

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Employer Of The Year - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #advertising, #managers & supervisors, #employer, #year, #million dollars, #attitude, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i'm proud to announce that we've been named "employer of the year." dilbert: how much did that cost? boss: nothing! all we had to do was buy a million dollars' worth of ads. dilbert: did we need those ads? boss: you won't win any awards with that attitude.