Disturbing Sounds Comic Strips - Page 17

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273 Results for Disturbing Sounds

View 161 - 170 results for disturbing sounds comic strips. Discover the best "Disturbing Sounds" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #internet & world wide web, #loneliness, #marriage, #wifi, #no wife, #social, #intellectual; needs, #human contact, #relationships

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Coworker: Are you married? Wally: I don't have a wife, but I do have wifi. I find that it meets all of my social and intellectual needs. Coworker: Do you miss the warmth of human contact? Wally: Never tried it. Sounds problematic.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #annoyance, #money, #budget estimate, #project, #one billion dollars, #unreasonable

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Boss: I need a budget estimate for your project. Dilbert: One billion dollars. Boss: That doesn't sound reasonable. Dilbert: I'll shout numbers and you can stop me when one sounds reasonable. Boss: Please stop being you. Dilbert: Eleven!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dairy products, #inventions, #mad scientists, #gay anarchist, #loves football, #string cheese

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Dilbert: I heard that marketing's optogenic device tweaked some of your preferences. Asok: Yup. Now I'm a gay anarchist who loves football and string cheese. Dilbert: Sounds like a big adjustment. Asok: Well, the cheese part came easily.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #executives, #Family, #obliviousness, #career, #focus, #married with kids, #huge hassle, #already chosen

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Dogbert: Executive Coach Dogbert: You need to focus on your career or your family. You can't do both. CEO: I don't have a family. Dogbert: Actually, you're married and you have four kids. CEO: That sounds like a huge hassle. Dogbert: Perhaps you've already chosen.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deception, #sales personnel, #linux, #million dollars, #pay for upgrade, #away for free

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Dogbert: I'll sell you the rights to use Linux for one million dollars. After the first month, you only need to pay for every upgrade. Boss: It sounds too good to be true. Dogbert: It's not as if I'm giving it away for free.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #defense industry, #internet & world wide web, #surveillance, #internet activity, #blind, #counceling, #weaponize

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Agent: I'm from the government. We've been monitoring your Internet activity. Half of my department went blind and the other half needs counseling. Wally: Sounds like not my problem. Agent: We'd like to weaponize you.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #sleeping & waking up, #get up at 4am, #successful people do, #power nap, #sound sbetter, #than looks, #business

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Boss: I got up at 4 a.m. because I heard it's what successful people do. Power nap! Wally: This sort of thing always sounds better than it looks.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #organized as holacracy, #dynamic governance, #transparent operations, #harnessing, #conscious capacity, #wander around, #dynamically, #business

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Boss: Now that we're organized as a holacracy, I have no idea what I should be doing. Catbert: Holacracy involves dynamic governance, transparent operations, and harnessing your conscious capacity. Boss: That sounds like "wander around." Catbert: Try to do it dynamically.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #thinking, #ideas, #sock at, #steal ideas, #double workload, #employee, #boss, #professional realtionships

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Dilbert: I have a great idea? Boss: What kind? Is it the kind I scoff at, the kind I steal, or the kind that makes me double your workload? Dilbert: It might be all of those. Boss: Sounds good so far.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #travel budget freeze, #technical problems, #fiancail targets, #satisfying customers, #sounds bad, #said outloud, #business

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Dilbert: I need an exception to the travel budget freeze so I can fix an important customer's technical problem. Boss: No, because arbitrary financial targets are more important than satisfying customers. Wait... why does that sound bad when I say it out lout? Dilbert: If it makes you feel better, I wasn't listening.