Engineer Comic Strips - Page 17
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252 Results for Engineer
View 161 - 170 results for engineer comic strips. Discover the best "Engineer" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday April 26,
2010
Tags deadline, late, engineer code, lightsaber, kill, annoy, flashlight, yell, close eyes, mouth open, office
Transcript
Dilbert says, "I cannot meet your arbitrary deadline, so the engineer's code requires me to kill myself with a lightsaber." Dilbert says, "But lightsabers haven't been invented yet. The best I can do is annoy myself with a flashlight." The Boss says, "Could you do this in the hall?" Dilbert says, "Annoyance before dishonor!"
Friday May 14,
2010
Tags computer, engineer, worst user interface, click, sell social security number, overhead view of cubicle, technology, engineering
Transcript
Dilber thinks, "The world's greatest engineer prepares to do battle with the world's worst user interface." Dilbert thinks, "I hope that did something." Computer says, "Your social security number has been sold."
Monday May 31,
2010
Tags engineer, duel, angry, fight, send link, winner, arms up, cell phone, technology, engineering
Transcript
How Engineers Duel Dilbert says, "Your data are weak." Engineer says, "Make your move!" Dilbert says, "I'm sending you a link!" Engineer says, "I'm sending you three links!" Dilbert says, "I don't have time for this." Engineer says, "Winner!"
Saturday September 04,
2010
Tags new product, defective, kill, recall, fix, overalls, bleach, scrubby brush, shake hands
Transcript
The Boss says, "I have a new job for you. Our product is defective and it's killing customers." Dilbert says, "You want me to organize a recall?" The Boss says, "No." Dilbert says, "Engineer a fix?" The Boss says, "No." The Boss says, "You'll need overalls, several barrels of bleach and some sort of scrubby brush."
Tuesday September 28,
2010
Tags new boyfriend, coworker, angry, jack, clench fist, engineer, social, engineering
Transcript
Alice says, "Dilbert, meet my new boyfriend, angry Jack." Alice says, "People say my high level of engineering skill comes at the cost of good social judgment." Dilbert says, "Alice, his name is Angry Jack." Alice says, "I think he wants to hold my hand now."
Monday October 04,
2010
Tags coworker, human resources, sit on table, broke arm, bandage, alice, angry, engineer, math, education, business, engineering
Transcript
Coworker says, "Alice broke my arm. You need to do something about this." Catbert says, "Okay. I'll compare Alice's economic value to yours and decide who to fire." Coworker says, "No fair! She's an engineer!" Catbert says, "You got beat up by someone who is also better at math?"
Wednesday October 20,
2010
Tags sales, bonus, boss, raise target, engineer, connect cables, computers, time machine, marketing, liquor, business, engineering
Transcript
Ken says, "I hate sales. Can you cross-train me to be an engineer?" Dilbert says, "Absolutely. All you need is a time machine and a brain with twice as many folds as your current model." Ken says, "Maybe I could try marketing." Dilbert says, "That's just liqour and guessing."
Friday November 05,
2010
Tags meeting, system, network, job, should, engineer, business, engineering
Transcript
The Boss says, "Can you put the PX9 system on the R3 network?" Dilbert says, "Yes." Dilbert says, "But just to be clear. What an engineer can do is rarely what he should do." The Boss says, "What should you do?" Dilbert says, "Apparently, your job."
Tuesday January 11,
2011
Tags engineers, honesty, viruses, honest opinions, causing problems, medical records, engineer, classified as disease, vaccination, engineering
Transcript
Dilbert says, "I can't stop voicing my honest opinions. It's causing problems at work." Doctor says, "According to your medical records, you're an engineer. We classify that as a disease now." Man says, "Gaaa!!! You haven't had your pon farr vaccination." Dilbert says, "Is it warm in here?"
Thursday January 13,
2011
Tags anger, engineers, lust, pon farr cycle, irreversible urge, mating season, engineer mating season, spawn, prodcut, unnecessary steps, rarely happens, specifications, vague
Transcript
Tina says, "Did you hear that Dilbert and Alice are on the same Pon Farr cycle?" Carol says, "What?" Tina says, "Every seven years, engineers have an irresistible urge to mate. Their spawn would be the product of two engineers." There's a reason it rarely happens Dilbert says, "Your plan has unnecessary steps!" Alice says, "Your specifications are vague!"


