Health Insurance Comic Strips - Page 17

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224 Results for Health Insurance

View 161 - 170 results for health insurance comic strips. Discover the best "Health Insurance" comics from Dilbert.com.

Watch That Monitors Health

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Watch That Monitors Health - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags health, wearable tech, fitbit, fitness, monitor, surveillance

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Boss: Our new product is a watch that monitors every aspect of your health. Wearing the watch is mandatory for all employees. Your data will automatically stream to our cloud storage. Voice: Because you care about our health? Boss: Sure. We'll go with that.

Wally's Watch Is A Snitch

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Wally's Watch Is A Snitch - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags wearable tech, health, surveillance, fitbit, monitor, fitness, attendance

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Wally: I can't come to work today. I'm totally sick. Boss: According to your employee health monitor, you're not sick at all. Wally: Stupid snitch!!!

Work Until You Drop

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Work Until You Drop - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags health, monitor, fitbit, energy, surveillance, wearable tech, dedication, work ethic

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Boss: Your health tracker says you are leaving work at the end of each day with energy to spare. That's exactly like stealing from the company. Dilbert: You want me to work until I drop? Boss: I'm not allowed to say that directly.

Ted Might Drop Dead

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Ted Might Drop Dead - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags health, monitor, fitbit, wearable tech, heart attack, diseases, death, prediction, medical

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Boss: Ted, your performance is poor. I need to let you go. Ted: Is it a coincidence that you're firing me at the same time my employee health monitor detected cardiovascular disease? How good are the predictive analytics on this? Boss: Don't make lunch plans.

Let's Do The Meeting Later

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Let's Do The Meeting Later - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags fitbit, health, monitor, wearable tech, surveillance

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Dilbert: According to your employee health monitor, your lack of sleep last night is hampering your mental functions. Let's end the meeting and try again when your brain is working better. Man: I don't understand. Dilbert: That is consistent with the data.

Wally Likes Sitting

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Wally Likes Sitting  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags laziness, standing desk, health, sitting, standing

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Boss: The company has authorized the purchase of standing desks for employees who want them. Wally: Literally the only good thing about this job is that I can do it while sitting down. Boss: How did you get to this meeting? Wally: Your chair doesn't have wheels?

Wally Is A Maverick

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Wally Is A Maverick - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags health, standing desks, standing, sitting, laziness

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Wally: I like to think of myself as a maverick. Let the trendy people brag about their standing desks. I haven't stood in a week. Dilbert: I have some bad news about your health risks. Wally: Should I sit down to hear it?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags negotiation, demand, haggle, prices, pricing, negotiate

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Boss: Negotiate with your vendor and get the price down. Dilbert: I don't know how to negotiate. I'm an engineer. Boss: It's simple. All you need to do is make an aggressive first demand and settle for less. Dilbert: How aggressive are we talking about here? Boss: The more aggressive the better. Dilbert: That doesn't sound right. Boss: Trust me. More is better. Dilbert: My opening demand is that you name me as a beneficiary on your life insurance police, mow my lawn, and die in traffic on the way home. Boss: You got the price down by 35 percent. Dilbert: I really hoped it wouldn't work.

Insurance For Phones

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Insurance For Phones  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cell phone, technology, insurance, break, screen, cracked

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Dilbert: The company that insures our mobile phone product is angry because 100 percent of our phones break in the first minute. They say it's a disaster and it is putting them out of business. What should I tell them? Boss: Tell them they should have gotten some sort of insurance.

Worried About Dilbert's Mental Health

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Worried About Dilbert's Mental Health - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags asoks health, boss worried, brilliant ideas, misunderstand, too dumb, dilbert's mental health, called into question

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The Boss: Im worried about DIlberts mental health because his ideas are so bad. Asok: How did you rule out the hypothesis that his ideas are brilliant but you're too dumb to understand them? The Boss: Now Im worried about Asok's mental health too.