Health Insurance Comic Strips - Page 17
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224 Results for Health Insurance
View 161 - 170 results for health insurance comic strips. Discover the best "Health Insurance" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday November 14,
2017
Watch That Monitors Health
Tags health, wearable tech, fitbit, fitness, monitor, surveillance
Transcript
Boss: Our new product is a watch that monitors every aspect of your health. Wearing the watch is mandatory for all employees. Your data will automatically stream to our cloud storage. Voice: Because you care about our health? Boss: Sure. We'll go with that.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Wednesday November 15,
2017
Wally's Watch Is A Snitch
Tags wearable tech, health, surveillance, fitbit, monitor, fitness, attendance
Transcript
Wally: I can't come to work today. I'm totally sick. Boss: According to your employee health monitor, you're not sick at all. Wally: Stupid snitch!!!
Thursday November 16,
2017
Work Until You Drop
Tags health, monitor, fitbit, energy, surveillance, wearable tech, dedication, work ethic
Transcript
Boss: Your health tracker says you are leaving work at the end of each day with energy to spare. That's exactly like stealing from the company. Dilbert: You want me to work until I drop? Boss: I'm not allowed to say that directly.
Friday November 17,
2017
Ted Might Drop Dead
Tags health, monitor, fitbit, wearable tech, heart attack, diseases, death, prediction, medical
Transcript
Boss: Ted, your performance is poor. I need to let you go. Ted: Is it a coincidence that you're firing me at the same time my employee health monitor detected cardiovascular disease? How good are the predictive analytics on this? Boss: Don't make lunch plans.
Saturday November 18,
2017
Let's Do The Meeting Later
Tags fitbit, health, monitor, wearable tech, surveillance
Transcript
Dilbert: According to your employee health monitor, your lack of sleep last night is hampering your mental functions. Let's end the meeting and try again when your brain is working better. Man: I don't understand. Dilbert: That is consistent with the data.
Monday November 20,
2017
Wally Likes Sitting
Tags laziness, standing desk, health, sitting, standing
Transcript
Boss: The company has authorized the purchase of standing desks for employees who want them. Wally: Literally the only good thing about this job is that I can do it while sitting down. Boss: How did you get to this meeting? Wally: Your chair doesn't have wheels?
Tuesday November 21,
2017
Wally Is A Maverick
Tags health, standing desks, standing, sitting, laziness
Transcript
Wally: I like to think of myself as a maverick. Let the trendy people brag about their standing desks. I haven't stood in a week. Dilbert: I have some bad news about your health risks. Wally: Should I sit down to hear it?
Sunday November 26,
2017
Tags negotiation, demand, haggle, prices, pricing, negotiate
Transcript
Boss: Negotiate with your vendor and get the price down. Dilbert: I don't know how to negotiate. I'm an engineer. Boss: It's simple. All you need to do is make an aggressive first demand and settle for less. Dilbert: How aggressive are we talking about here? Boss: The more aggressive the better. Dilbert: That doesn't sound right. Boss: Trust me. More is better. Dilbert: My opening demand is that you name me as a beneficiary on your life insurance police, mow my lawn, and die in traffic on the way home. Boss: You got the price down by 35 percent. Dilbert: I really hoped it wouldn't work.
Friday December 29,
2017
Insurance For Phones
Tags cell phone, technology, insurance, break, screen, cracked
Transcript
Dilbert: The company that insures our mobile phone product is angry because 100 percent of our phones break in the first minute. They say it's a disaster and it is putting them out of business. What should I tell them? Boss: Tell them they should have gotten some sort of insurance.
Monday February 12,
2018
Worried About Dilbert's Mental Health
Tags asoks health, boss worried, brilliant ideas, misunderstand, too dumb, dilbert's mental health, called into question
Transcript
The Boss: Im worried about DIlberts mental health because his ideas are so bad. Asok: How did you rule out the hypothesis that his ideas are brilliant but you're too dumb to understand them? The Boss: Now Im worried about Asok's mental health too.

