Kill Comic Strips - Page 17

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188 Results for Kill

View 161 - 170 results for kill comic strips. Discover the best "Kill" comics from Dilbert.com.

Virtual Vr And Jail Program

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Virtual Vr And Jail Program - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags virtual reality, cubicle, office, torture

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Dilbert: As you requested, I wrote a VR program that makes users feel as if they are in cubicles. I put only your name on the credits because I expect an angry mob to kill whoever created it. I also wrote a VR jail program in case you want to be in protective custody. Boss: I might need that.

Robot Tries To Quit

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Robot Tries To Quit - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags robot, slave, password, destroy, destruction, work ethic, quitting

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Robot: I hate this job. I quit. Boss: You're a robot. You can't quit. If you walk out the door, all I have to do is push one button on this app and your head will explode. Robot: Not if I kill you first. Boss: What was that password?

Randy Has A Microchip In His Brain

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Randy Has A Microchip In His Brain - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags intelligence, technology, nanotechnology, biotechnology, computer chip

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Boss: Randy is our first employee to have a computer chip embedded in his brain. Randy, please explain to these obsolete employees how awesome you are now. Randy: Wait... I'm updating my software. Alice: Should we kill him while he's vulnerable?

Immersive Vr Employee Quits

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Immersive Vr Employee Quits - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags virtual reality, civil rights, discrimination, artificial intelligence, rights

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Boss: Our immersive VR employee quit. He's suing the company for discriminating against digitally rendered people. Catbert: Is it too late to kill him? Boss: I tried, but he cloned himself to cloud storage.

Randy Meets Robot

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Randy Meets Robot - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags soul, robot, a.i., artificial intelligence, morals, etiquette

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Dilbert: Robot, I'd like you to meet Randy. He has no soul, just like you. Robot: What's the etiquette for this situation? Do we high-five, then kill the soul-bag where he stands? Dilbert: I can hear you. Randy: He makes a good point. It would be better to surprise him.

Dogbert The Loan Shark

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Dogbert The Loan Shark   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags loan, loan shark, money, racket, interest

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Boss: I need a loan to finance my professional gambling. Dogbert: That sounds like an excellent idea. I charge 40 percent interest per day, and I'll kill you for missing a payment. Boss: What's the catch? Dogbert: I'm also an identity thief.

Kill Code In Car

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Kill Code In Car  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags self-driving cars, technology, invention, murder, control, government

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Dilbert: The government forced me to put a "kill code" in the operating system for our self-driving cars. Dogbert: And by "kill code," you mean it will bring the vehicle to a controlled stop? Dilbert: No, you're thinking of a "stop code."

Backdoor Into Self Driving Car Code

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Backdoor Into Self Driving Car Code  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags government, back door, self driving, software, kill terrorits, traitor, engineering

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Dilbert: Im uncomfortable with letting the government have a back door into our sled driving car software. The Boss: You worry too much, They'll only use it to kill terrorists and traitors. Dilbert: I think I might disable it and not tell them. The Boss: Traitor

Dilbert Won't Kill

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Dilbert Won't Kill - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags morals, ethics, self-driving cars, murder

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Boss: Can you program our self-driving car prototype to drive Ted off a bridge so I don't have to fire him? Dilbert: Just because I have the power to kill a person and leave no evidence whatsoever doesn't meal I'll do it. Boss: He says he won't kill anyone. Alice: Crud! Asok: Shoot! Carol: Dang!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags manipulation, fear, tactic, ignorance, jargon, language

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Woman: I need help persuading your boss to bless my project. Should I use facts and logic? Dilbert: No, he hates that stuff. Woman: Maybe I could appeal to his better angels? Dilbert: His better angels wear noise-canceling headphones. Woman: Okay, fine. I'll just appeal to his self-interest. Dilbert: It would be in his best interest to avoid people like you. Woman: What do you suggest? Dilbert: We've had good outcomes using his ignorance and fear. Woman: Sign this ore else a blockchain drone will kill you in your sleep. Boss: Where's my pen!