Laziness Comic Strips - Page 17
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Character
182 Results for Laziness
View 161 - 170 results for laziness comic strips. Discover the best "Laziness" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday November 10,
2017
Wally Is Working If You Don't See Him
Tags laziness, deception, invisibility, work ethic
Transcript
Boss: How's your stealth clothing project coming along? Wally: Great. I'm usually testing the prototype in the office. That's why you rarely see me working. Boss: So... the less I see you work, the more successful you must be? Wally: It's just common sense.
Monday November 20,
2017
Wally Likes Sitting
Tags laziness, standing desk, health, sitting, standing
Transcript
Boss: The company has authorized the purchase of standing desks for employees who want them. Wally: Literally the only good thing about this job is that I can do it while sitting down. Boss: How did you get to this meeting? Wally: Your chair doesn't have wheels?
Tuesday November 21,
2017
Wally Is A Maverick
Tags health, standing desks, standing, sitting, laziness
Transcript
Wally: I like to think of myself as a maverick. Let the trendy people brag about their standing desks. I haven't stood in a week. Dilbert: I have some bad news about your health risks. Wally: Should I sit down to hear it?
Wednesday November 22,
2017
Wally Not Motivated
Tags laziness, motivation, behavior, medical, treatment, blame, accountability, psychology
Transcript
Wally: I need to take a medical leave to recover from my crippling laziness. Boss: Laziness is a behavior problem, not a medical problem. Wally: That would suggest you have not motivated me enough. Boss: Can't be that. It sounds more like you're dying.
Thursday November 23,
2017
Doctor Will Operate
Tags laziness, happiness, satisfaction, aspirations, psychology
Transcript
Doctor: The MRI shows unusual activity in the laziness region of your brain. Normally, I would recommend brain surgery, but your brain also registers an unusually high level of happiness. Wally: So... how do we handle this? Doctor: I'm going to operate on myself to make me more like you.
Friday November 24,
2017
Brain Scan
Tags brain, thinking, cognition, personality, abnormality, psychology
Transcript
Wally: My doctor says my laziness is caused by a brain abnormality. Dilbert: Doesn't everyone in the world have a unique brain that determines what they do? Boss: Is he right about that? Wally: I'd have to see his brain scan. Sounds like a tumor.
Saturday November 25,
2017
Threatening Wally
Tags laziness, excuse, threat, ultimatum
Transcript
Woman: Wally, did you finish the data scrub? Wally: No, a defect in my brain made me too lazy. Woman: Perhaps some sort of threat would get you going. Wally: It's worth a try. Woman: Do your work or else I'll tell everyone you're useless! Wally: That would save me a lot of time.
Saturday December 09,
2017
Elbonian Hackers Delete Wally's Report
Tags evidence, excuses, hackers, hacking, laziness, assignment, elbonians, a, zing report
Transcript
Boss: Did you finish your assignment? Wally: Yes, but Elbonian hackers deleted my report along with all of my backups. Boss: I have no way of knowing that's true. Wally: It was an amazing report! Better than you've ever seen.
Sunday December 17,
2017
Tags laziness, accomplishment, narcissist, narcissism, review, firing, excuse
Transcript
Narrator: The Underperforming Narcissist. Boss: Topper, you've accomplished nothing this year. Topper: Are you kidding? I'm the greatest employee this world has ever seen! Boss: You have literally done nothing useful for a year. Topper: Don't be ridiculous. Everyone knows that "less is more." And I've done far less than anyone. Wally: Sorry I'm late. I thought I heard an animal trapped in my car's engine. Boss: Did you do less than Wally? Topper: Maybe we could continue this talk when he's not in the office. Wally: Any time before 11 a.m. is usually good.


